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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Anonymous

Later found out we're cousins. PLEASE HELP!

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Guest Anonymous   
Guest Anonymous

So I went to college and met this girl there, we instantly click and we become really close friends. Everything about her was so relatable and soon without us realising we started seeing each other every single day. I love her very much and she loves me too. So after a couple of months we decided to tell my parents about our relationship. This made them realise that we're second cousins, to which they responded by saying it's forbidden and disgusting. Now she has broken up with me, I am distraught at what has happened, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her but due to this circumstance we just had to end it, we both love each other still and we both are having a hard time dealing with this situation. I've tried thinking of a solution to this but every solution ends up with us losing our family and friends. Any advice or helpful tips would be appreciated thank you!

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Hawk    29

Anon,

 Please DO calm down. You don't mention where you are, and I'm not going to either, but, as a mod, I can, and did, have a little peek. Your parents are WRONG. So far as we know, second cousins are legal to marry anywhere in the world, and, provided my index is correct, where you are, even FIRST cousins are perfectly legal to marry. You DO NOT have to end it, you just have to go to the information pages on the main site, get you and her up to speed, then, your parents, and anyone else who would care to discourage you. If they reject the facts, well, as we say around here, "You can't save them all." They'll either come around, or they won't. Their opinion of the facts doesn't change the facts, and their opinion of your relationship is NOT your problem. It's theirs......js

 Now, get her on here, show her this thread, and the info on genetics, religion, and laws on the main pages here on the site. Show her this, and, if she does read it, I would strongly encourage her to reconsider, and not throw away the chance at happiness over someone else's foolishness or ignorance.

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LadyC    99

ditto what hawk says. you're no longer children, and your parents no longer get to have a say in who you date. they can manipulate the two of you into breaking up ONLY if you allow them to. but as adults, you have the right (and responsibility to yourselves) to stand up for yourselves and not let your family blackmail you into submission. this is part of entering adulthood. it's not always an easy rite of passage, but it's a necessary one. we have a letter that you're welcome to give your family that explains the truth about genetics, laws and morality on the subject of cousin marriage. a lot of people use that because their families won't stop objecting long enough to listen to the facts. the letter is something you can hand them and walk away from, leaving them to read it when they're ready. and then the ball is in their court. they can either accept your choice or not... and if not, then it's on THEM when you walk away. 

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