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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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RIVA

Just venting

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RIVA    2

The news are....

From  my side: Last monday my parents found out I was coming to visit my CBF (cousin boyfriend). My mom "asked" to me to not come for a couple of hours, in which the conversation basically was: "It's wrong" "He's your blood" "Lev 18:6 (only 6)" "You are going to regret being with him (because he's my cousin and not because he is a bad person)" My dad became sick because of it (trying to make me feel guilty), all that followed by long periods of silence.

So, now we are together. They haven't spoke to me since my arrival, not a single message, not even to know if I am well, nothing, just a simple text saying "happy birthday" through whatsapp... and I am so resented that I haven't called them either, but also I am a texting type, not a calling one.

I don't know if we're going to start living together, so far this is just temporary. 

From his side: his mom doesn't really care, she went to a tarotist (?) and she told her that somebody is making witchcraft to us to separate us (my boyfriend believes it is my aunt doing it). His dad was not talking to him for a few weeks but now is; he doesn't support us and doesn't want to know anything about it but he is not rejecting his son. And his brother (also my cousin) is fully supporting of any cousin couple, since he knows another couple and says that this was very common in our background some time ago (according to my mom that is not true). 

I am finding it hard to accept my parents rejection, I knew it would happen but it is so upseting when it is, in fact, happening. And what makes it harder is that I am alone. I don't remember if I posted this but I told my best friend about it and she doesn't care!, I could talk to her but I don't want to be that type of friend. 

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MissPrice    19

RIVA, I'm so sorry that your parents are making things difficult for you, that must be tough. I know it's not the same as really knowing people, but you aren't alone, you have the whole community here to support you. It isn't fair to you that your parents aren't accepting your choice. I hope that with time they will learn to overcome their prejudices. In the meantime, I hope their disapproval doesn't hurt your relationship.

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RIVA    2

Thank you MissPrice! I am hoping that they will be more acceptiing soon too. On the bright side, I am taking the admission test to get a degree this year, hopefully I'll be accepted :)

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Gabe    0

RIVA, I am kinda like in the same situation.Not like yours though. My cousin and I never let it be known to anyone because what you are going thru ours would be a lot worse.

My cuz and I are I guess you can say are hiding in the closet. Oh lawd what a problem it would be if it was known by any of our family. Also we are not brave like you are. That being said means when we get any chance alone with each other it is only for lust and sex. Don't get me wrong, I do so much enjoy that a lot, (since that is really the way we started our relationship off). But many times we are being noticed about making eyes at each other and looking suspicious like we are more than cousins.

I know it is too late for yall to change things, but hiding it seems would have worked out better for you. Plus the sex seems hotter like it is is so Taboo.

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5 hours ago, Gabe said:

RIVA, I am kinda like in the same situation.Not like yours though. My cousin and I never let it be known to anyone because what you are going thru ours would be a lot worse.

My cuz and I are I guess you can say are hiding in the closet. Oh lawd what a problem it would be if it was known by any of our family. Also we are not brave like you are. That being said means when we get any chance alone with each other it is only for lust and sex. Don't get me wrong, I do so much enjoy that a lot, (since that is really the way we started our relationship off). But many times we are being noticed about making eyes at each other and looking suspicious like we are more than cousins.

I know it is too late for yall to change things, but hiding it seems would have worked out better for you. Plus the sex seems hotter like it is is so Taboo.

Gave. Sometimes, it is not about sex but feelings.

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Gabe    0
10 hours ago, samapartofamy said:

Gave. Sometimes, it is not about sex but feelings.

Sam, that I know my friend. But as I stated in my reply is that my cuz and I never started off that way. Meaning we were partying 1 day and after a little alcohol we went right for it. We always hung around the same places and people. I don't regret that it happened, but at least RIVA seems like she has considered it with a clear mind unlike the way cuz and I did. I would never have the guts she has to ever let our family members even suspect anything going on tween cuz and I. Even though cuz and I both have feelings, and a lot of guilty feelings. We somehow skipped over that part and fell into the animalistic, forbidden, taboo, hiding it from everyone sex part.

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MissPrice    19

Hi Gabe - I don't mean this as any kind of personal judgement regarding you or your cousin, but it does open up a good topic, and I want to put this out there for anyone else who's considering a cousin relationship. Cousin relationships are inherently more complicated than non-consanguineous relationships, because you are always going to be related to that person no matter what. Twenty years in the future you might both be at a wedding or funeral of a shared relative, and you might be there with your respective partners/spouses. That kind of thing is bound to be awkward, and as you pointed out, even in the short-term, keeping that kind of secret is a big deal. I also get what you are saying about how hot taboo relationships can be; it can certainly add extra spice to a physical relationship. However, that's something that is pretty much guaranteed to fade with time, and then you are just left with the awkward. My husband/cousin and I have talked about how glad we are that we grew up far apart, and that we didn't see each other often when we were younger. In retrospect, it's easy for both of us to see that we were intensely attracted to each other from the time we started having those feelings for anyone, and if we had been around each other much, something would have happened when we were both too young for it to be a good thing. As it turned out for us, nothing happened until I was 29 and he was 32. It's also interesting for me to see in retrospect that my first serious boyfriend, who I spent seven years with, looked eerily like my cousin at the time. Point being, the feelings can be very real at times in life where a relationship of any kind could end badly, and this kind of relationship ending badly can cause problems in the family. It's particularly hard to take that into account when we're are young, and particularly important to take into account because of how much there is ahead of us, and how complicated young relationships are. 

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RIVA    2

Gabe, If not telling them at all or when we did would had been a better choise for what we are going through with our personal lives, we would had taken it way over this. Believe me, it isn't fun/nice/comfortable to know that I have 0 support from my family. Unfortunatly some people think I am crazy for thinking/acting different than them; not even mentiong the fact that I am dating my cousin. But, that's the way it is. 

 

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