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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Lost

Cousin love and heartache

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Guest Lost

I am a 27 year old male and for years I've been attracted  to my 23 year old female first cousin for years. We have been close friends for years and I have never been shy about expressing this to her. One night we were drinking with a few friends and I noticed her getting jealous over me talking to a girl and I acted on it and long story short I ended up sleeping with her. We didn't talk for a week and when we finally did we both agreed that it wasn't  awkward and we wanted to continue. Well after a month we considered ourselves dating and our relationship seemed stronger than ever. We told some friends and my sister and nobody seemed to judge us and they said our connection has been obvious forever. So things are good. Today I called her on my way home from work and she said she didn't know if she could keep doing this. She had spent the day swimming with her family and said that they would never accept her being with me and could not tell them. And she feels that they will be suspicious that she's never in a relationship and always with me. This is her other side of the family by the way. She told me her feelings for me have not changed but she just doesn't know if we should continue our relationship. I'm crushed and don't know what to do.

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You might recommend that she look at this site. In the beginning, a lot of people feel like being part of a cousin couple is weird and isolating, and that their family will never accept it. I certainly did, and in the beginning my cousin and I decided we couldn't have a relationship because we didn't want to hurt our family. When we did tell them, one at a time, as we felt we were ready, the response was much more accepting than either of us would have imagined possible. With some people it took more time than with others, but now we are married, and in addition to our family knowing, our friends and many of my co-workers do as well. Not everyone has as easy a time as we have, but many find out that it's easier than they think. Additionally, being with a cousin isn't just a normal relationship with added stress, there are unique advantages too. I would suggest reading the post I wrote on that (below). Good luck!

 

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