Jump to content
Brynn

Please help me out here!

Recommended Posts

I have known my cousin my whole life. He is a year and a couple of months older than me. The two of us became really close a couple of years back. I love how close we are. He is really protective with me which to me is really weird considering he isn't like this with any of our other cousins or his sister. He has started to 'tickle' me, I don't really get bothered by it. Yes his hands go places where they shouldn't be going for just 'tickling' but I feel like it's just how he is so I don't get bothered by it. I've been noticing that whenever he does go into one of his tickling moods, he leans in close to my lips as if he is going to kiss me, I don't know what to do! He never shares his food with anyone but he just started sharing his food with me. If someone else were to ask for a bite of his food he would always say no, no matter what, but he offers me a bite. Just recently I got into a little argument with him about his tickling because I didn't want him to get into trouble if someone found out. He said he was sorry and that he knew his hands were in places they shouldn't have been. He then told me he loved me and that he was going to wait until I was ok to forgive him. I feel like the more I see him the more I keep falling for him. He has a girlfriend so I don't know if I should tell him how I feel about him or keep my feelings to myself. Please help me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Going by what you've written, you sound like young teenagers.  What are your ages?  Start by reading as much as you can on this forum.  Read the posts tacked up to the top of Help/Advice and Shoot the Breeze.  Understand that family members can be against cousin romances, so learn about that.  Find out what his intentions are, because if he has a girlfriend, then maybe he is just flirting with you.  Stay away from him, if his intentions are not good.  Cousin romance should only be pursued when you're older, like in your 20s, because of the family complications.  And there's no point in pursuing it at all, unless you are both serious.

Ambra

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He is 15 while I'll be going on 14 soon. I don't know what his intentions are nor do I know how to get him to tell me what his intentions are. He never talk about his girlfriend with me and whenever I ask him he just changes the subject and talks to me about something else. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Brynn - Ambra is absolutely right, now is not a time to pursue anything with your cousin. Relationships are challenging, and cousin relationships are more complicated than most, because of the family dynamic. As a teenager, you have enough to worry about without that. You are figuring out who you are, and what you want out of life. If you have feelings for your cousin later on, there is nothing wrong with pursuing that then. But right now, you are both dependent on your families, you are both evolving rapidly, and you are both too young to make the kind of commitment to each other that makes dealing with all the complications of a cousin relationship worth it. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I would recommend putting some space between yourself and your cousin for now.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well thank you for sharing your story. In my opinion, from me and generally I don't be like dealing with other people that's in a relationship because I don't want to be the one to separate two people or get involved that way. However, if you are in this position you should simply tell him your concerns. And ask him what do he think about you. Also tell him that he should be more involved with his girlfriend rather he be more involved with you. Just to see where he stands between you and the girl. If he picks the girl and then you know what he stands if you picked you then you know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Similar Content

    • By Taylor
      Hello!
      So here it goes, I have a cousin who lives in the US, she’s half american half filipino. She’s 14 years old and I’m 23. I finished my bachelors degree in nursing. I don’t have a boyfriend as of now(by choice). It came to a point that we became really close with this cousin of mine, we talked about problems, family , dreams, anything under the sun. Until we came into a point when she started kissing me, I was shocked! And acted that it never happened since we promised each other not to do it again. Days have passed until I got really drunk, we sleep in the same bed, I closed my eyes, and she started kissing me, really hard. I was really dizzy and tired at that time so I just let her, Until she touches me below the belt and I said stop, the next day she was embarrassed with what she did and acted like it was a dream so I confronted her, until she said sorry. I told her that I won’t let that thing separate us, and I forgave her and put everything behind. I also told her that I am willing to do it over and over again so that she will not feel guilty because I dont want to lose ny cousin. I did exactly what she did that night and ended up doing it over and over again. We asked our selves if it’s right. She told me it’s not, but its not wrong either. What we did is a choice we both consented. 
       Is it wrong? Is it immoral? We’re pretty surewe’re straight, but why do we keep on doing this? 
       Am I inlove with my cousin?
    • By ThreeAM
      Hi guys, I'm new to all this cousin stuff. Im from the UK so im well aware of the legal issues on cousins.
      To cut a story short, ive always had a hunch that my cousin has liked me since we were young, but these past 4 years i think that shes been dropping hints that she likes me. Im 23 and shes 18, i know thats quite an age gap but the thing is, she is exactly like me when i was that age. We often acknowledge our similarities and we are both always a little shocked at how much we are the same. I should cringe at this but ive never really felt a real connection with anyone until recently. Ive had many girlfriends, but there was never a fulfilling feeling of being with them. but anyway ill cut to the story.
      On odd occasions my cousin will ask me to go out and i will always say yes, but if i cant i will always rearrange to see her. When we first starting hanging out she would want me to tickle her arms, so basically she was very touchy feely with me. Then a year passed and she got a boyfriend which i was totally fine with but then they split up and we started hanging out abit more, she seemed more shy around me and was alot less touchy feely. Eventually she got another boyfriend and hes a really cool guy we get on,  earlier this year she asked me to go round to her house for a massage and she asked to do a full body massage on me, i said no because i didnt want to feel awkward so i ended up just going with a back massage. she was wonderful at it she is amazing at massaging, but i couldnt help but feel a little aroused by it. so anyway i just put that to the back of my head and thought nothing of it because shes my cousin right? Anyway, when we go out as a family to a meal or something, i always catch her looking at me with such a beautiful grin after shes told a joke, even if im sat doing nothing while everyone is talking, i look over at her to catch her staring at me, we lock eyes and oh man does my heart race. It feels like we are the only people in the room. But this week we went to town and we got drunk, while we was out she was telling me that she gets more energy when there's more people and i understand that, so she invited one of her lad mates out. Before he arrived, baring in mind that she has a bf, she was telling me how nice and hot he was, which is what you do at 18 haha. I was looking forward to meeting him, we got on and he mentioned that he wanted a smoke. so i said we could go back to mine because my parents were on holiday and she was really up for that. so this lead me to think that she wanted to get with her friend. 
      When we arrived at mine we had a smoke, watched a few films and just generally had a good night then i said i was going to go to bed. as i was going up she asked me for a t-shirt to wear to bed, i was drunk and i took mine off and just chucked it at her as a joke. She laughed and said thanks, so she went off to get undressed and put my tshirt on. when i was in bed she messaged me and asked where i was sleeping, i said in my room and laughed. then we carried on talking but i cant remember what about, but i remember her saying "Let me have a nap first". at this point i was so tired i just fell asleep. eventually i woke up at 3 and could not get back to sleep, so i got up brushed my teeth and went to the living room. she came downstairs curiously in my tshirt so i presumed she slept in it and i asked her if she had done the deed with her friend. she laughed and said no as if it was gross. i was abit confused by this, but then it hit me. Was she downstairs with me at 3AM to finally admit to what she was feeling? I went so quiet i didnt know what to do and i felt a sense of tension between us, she said she was going upstairs to put her phone on charge and i told her to come back after. She did come back but she only sat with me for about 10 mins before going to wake her friend up so we could all sit downstairs together. anyway this is where it gets confusing, i try to message her and she will talk to me for a short while but its always a short while, i dont know if she feels awkward with me, honestly im so lost.
      I have no idea what im feeling, what shes feeling i just need your guys opinions on the matter. are these obvious signs shes giving me or am i just getting the wrong end of the stick?
      If you need more info just ask :).
      Cheers Guys.
    • By Jordan Colbert
      Our story started roughly 2 years ago when my cousin confessed she had feelings for me. At the time she said this is wrong and we should not be doing this. But we continued developing our relationship anyway. We planned of our lives together after marriage, babies, places to visit, things to do and so on. We lived a happy life. Now after two years of constant back and forth of; this is wrong we should not be doing it and it’s ok let’s go ahead with it, she wants to end the relationship but isn’t doing it, just putting a halt to the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect and just wants to be friends. She says, “I should have been the adult in the room. I don’t want to continue doing wrong.” She feels that when we inform our family about our intentions we will end up creating a huge and permanent split in our family. We will be the reason for our family to break apart. People will hate us. Previously at the beginning of our relationship she had said that she doesn’t care about what other people think of her. When I brought this up she said well I do care now. I tried convincing her that I’ll deal with all the heat from the family, you can even say he is the one pushing for it I’m not that interested. I’ll be able to make the family come to terms with us. But she still says even if you convince the family I know it’s wrong and my mind will not be at ease. She says even if we get married I won’t be able to live a happy life because I’ll be disturbed about the fact that we are cousins and we shouldn’t be married. Also whenever she sees other cousins they remind her that we are doing wrong. She feels bad when she sees them. Sometimes she says that I look like her brother and that makes it difficult for her. The thing I don’t understand is that these are issues that were there during the first year of our relationship, why are they becoming unbearable now. She was able to put these thoughts aside then. Why can’t she now? I asked her do you want to end our relationship? Her reply was, “Yes, sometimes I want to end it. But sometimes I don’t. I don’t know.” I said why don’t you end it then. She said, “You’ve done nothing but loved me. And that’s why it’s difficult for me to end it. I’m thinking about our relationship in a realistic way and you think in a hopeful way. There is no way our family will allow us to be together.” 
      I feel that if I can convince her that we are not doing anything wrong. We love each other and there’s nothing wrong about it, she might change her mind. The thing is I’ve tried everything I could to do that. But she doesn’t accept it. I’ve given her examples of cousin marriages happening for so many decades. Her response is that if people have been doing wrong that doesn’t mean we continue doing wrong. 
      You may think she does not love me anymore and is trying to find excuses to end our relationship. That’s not how it is. She is a tough independent woman. She does not let other people’s opinions play any role in her decision making. She thinks for herself and sticks to her decisions however painful they may be. I know her very well. She still loves me. Just not enough to marry me. 
    • By CherishHer
      My cousin just ended our 8 year relationship because she’s afraid that the family will break apart. It was very painful for both us and we cried like never before. We were together in secret all this time but rumor spreading of our relationship made her realize that she could no longer bear the guilt of having to lie to everyone. I’ve tried everything I can to get her to come back to me but she says there’s no turning back. She says that no one will accept us no matter what explanation we give to them. She even threatened with leaving everything behind and starting out from the ground up somewhere where I won’t find her. I’ve hardly eaten anything or gotten any sleep since then. My last hope is convincing someone important in our family that what we have is true love and letting her know not to worry about what the family will say. So here’s the tricky part. The only person that could probably understand what we have is my mother. She and my father got together while my father was still with her sister and they’ve been together for 33 years now. The family took a nasty split when that happened with mostly everyone including her only brother siding with her older sister.  Should  I tell her about our feelings? Was that relationship taboo enough for them to understand? Or will it backfire and end up losing her love completely for still insisting. After all, my mother already suspected that there was something going on between us. 
×