Jump to content
Brynn

Please help me out here!

Recommended Posts

I have known my cousin my whole life. He is a year and a couple of months older than me. The two of us became really close a couple of years back. I love how close we are. He is really protective with me which to me is really weird considering he isn't like this with any of our other cousins or his sister. He has started to 'tickle' me, I don't really get bothered by it. Yes his hands go places where they shouldn't be going for just 'tickling' but I feel like it's just how he is so I don't get bothered by it. I've been noticing that whenever he does go into one of his tickling moods, he leans in close to my lips as if he is going to kiss me, I don't know what to do! He never shares his food with anyone but he just started sharing his food with me. If someone else were to ask for a bite of his food he would always say no, no matter what, but he offers me a bite. Just recently I got into a little argument with him about his tickling because I didn't want him to get into trouble if someone found out. He said he was sorry and that he knew his hands were in places they shouldn't have been. He then told me he loved me and that he was going to wait until I was ok to forgive him. I feel like the more I see him the more I keep falling for him. He has a girlfriend so I don't know if I should tell him how I feel about him or keep my feelings to myself. Please help me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Going by what you've written, you sound like young teenagers.  What are your ages?  Start by reading as much as you can on this forum.  Read the posts tacked up to the top of Help/Advice and Shoot the Breeze.  Understand that family members can be against cousin romances, so learn about that.  Find out what his intentions are, because if he has a girlfriend, then maybe he is just flirting with you.  Stay away from him, if his intentions are not good.  Cousin romance should only be pursued when you're older, like in your 20s, because of the family complications.  And there's no point in pursuing it at all, unless you are both serious.

Ambra

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He is 15 while I'll be going on 14 soon. I don't know what his intentions are nor do I know how to get him to tell me what his intentions are. He never talk about his girlfriend with me and whenever I ask him he just changes the subject and talks to me about something else. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Brynn - Ambra is absolutely right, now is not a time to pursue anything with your cousin. Relationships are challenging, and cousin relationships are more complicated than most, because of the family dynamic. As a teenager, you have enough to worry about without that. You are figuring out who you are, and what you want out of life. If you have feelings for your cousin later on, there is nothing wrong with pursuing that then. But right now, you are both dependent on your families, you are both evolving rapidly, and you are both too young to make the kind of commitment to each other that makes dealing with all the complications of a cousin relationship worth it. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I would recommend putting some space between yourself and your cousin for now.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well thank you for sharing your story. In my opinion, from me and generally I don't be like dealing with other people that's in a relationship because I don't want to be the one to separate two people or get involved that way. However, if you are in this position you should simply tell him your concerns. And ask him what do he think about you. Also tell him that he should be more involved with his girlfriend rather he be more involved with you. Just to see where he stands between you and the girl. If he picks the girl and then you know what he stands if you picked you then you know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Similar Content

    • By Rob780
      Hi all..
      I've been sat for an hour reading all posts and stories etc and it's made me want to ask for help and advice..
      I'm seeing my 3rd cousin. It all started as she split up with her bf and I wanted to be there for her to help her and make sure shes happy. But then eventually the feelings came for both of us and we started seeing each other nearly everyday. It was great and I've never felt so happy. I mean she just walks in and I instantly cant stop smiling! Everything she does makes me smile. From the way she talks to the ways she looks and the way she smiles with her dimples, most importantly the way she is and who she is. 
      But I've recently started working a lot due to it being high season where I am,  so we dont get to see each other as much. We both still made the effort and the time to see each other as and when we could though. But now all of a sudden shes started backing of and worrying about people finding out that were cousins and what crap we may or may not get.
      I've told her I ain't bothered as long as she is happy but that doesnt change anything. All I care about is the things family and close friends will say but her parents and mine no something is happening as they keep dropping hints waiting for us to admit it. But they havent once warned us off or tried to stop it etc. Which leads me to believe they wont be bothered about it. 
      Were from the UK shes 20 and I'm 28.. 
      Any help would be great. I just want to show her that we dont know what will happen in the future until we get there. It could be good it could be bad or it could be great. (Peoples reactions)
      What can I do? 
      Thanks 
       
    • By anongirl6843
      Hello,
      Truthfully I can’t believe I have made an account...or am even making a post. Maybe cause it’s almost 4 am? Or maybe cause I’m finally tired of bottling it up. This may be long, just a warning. 
      I’ve had a crush on my cousin since the day I came into this world, believe it or not. The majority of pictures from my childhood are by his side. It actually became a joke between the adults in the family that the two of us were “in love”. And a part of me believes that’s true. But maybe I’m crazy. 
      The problem was that we live in different countries and although I used to visit every summer, the older I got, the less my parents took me to visit. Granted, that’s only due to the increase of risk in traveling to that country. The less frequently I visited, the harder it was for him and I to pick up where we left off on our friendship.
      Currently he’s 23 and I recently turned 18. I know I’m young, so people automatically take what I say as a joke. But every time we wind up in each others presences, theres some sort of tension- like when in movies there’s a separated couple that still have feelings for each-other. As strange as it may seem, my grandmother supports this and wants my cousin and I to be together, as she tells my mother. My parents, however, either get very angry or exaggeratedly laugh at the sound of it. 
      Him and I remain social media friends, and I don’t want to ruin anything in the family- but I can’t help but feel like a part of me will always be wanting to know if he really did and still does feel the same. Or if there’s a chance we could be together. I constantly find myself unconsciously comparing all my “boyfriends” and flings to him, as if I know no one will ever be enough. I just can’t imagine how I would tell him. 
      if you actually took the time to read this- thank you. If you have any advice- thanks in advance. 
    • By Indigo_109
      Hi, I'm an absolute newbie and I love that this website exists. Right, to the point! I'm not gonna bore you with the details of my love story, but I will say that I've had a really difficult time digesting the fact that  my cousin and I want to get married. 
      You see, I was one of those people who thought cousin marriages were gross and that there were billions of other people in the world so no one should have a relationship, let alone marry, their cousins. Boy oh boy how karma likes to bite you back in the arse! 
      I fell in love with my first cousin who lived two oceans apart, I really rarely saw him so he wasn't like a brother or anything close, you could say a stranger? We never really spoke, I just about recognised who he was. 
      Anyway, I know I shouldn't care about what people think, but it gets to me when people say things like "Ew that's incest."
      I don't know, I just think it's so hurtful when people say horrible degrading things like "oh it's like sleeping with your brother"... I don't consider it incestuous at all, but upon researching cousin marriages, I came across some people who felt strongly about it being incest. That grosses me out and makes me see my husband-to-be in a different light. 
      I know, I know, I shouldn't care, but I need reassurance that marrying your cousin isn't actually gross, or incest. I feel disgusted at the prospect of being in a potentially incestuous relationship, and I suppose my judgement is clouded by other people's opinions, so I need some positive opinions to realise that the world isn't full of haters.
      Thanks
    • By Tfgbbjoibwjsjcicbdisjs
      Hi. So, I’m currently 14, and so is my second cousin. (who I’ve known only less than a year now) Now, I know I seem somewhat juvenile for this type of this discussion, but I’m in dire need of help. See, the thing is, nowadays, it’s pretty clear that kids as young as 12 have relationships. Most of the time, they don’t last, it’s obvious, but I have feelings for my second cousin that I’m certain I’ve had for nobody before, nor do I think I can have them for anyone else. She’s beautiful. But that wasn’t the first thing I noticed. We met at an amusement park, when our parents introduced us to each other no less than a year ago. What I noticed first about her was that she seemed bothered. Worried, distressed, and I immediately felt the same way—at least the way that she looked. Now, she lives in the US. I’m US born, but I temporarily live in another country until about 11th grade. 
      Consider it what you may, a “long distance relationship” or whatever, but this makes me even more distressed. See, this was the day after they’d come from America. They did a lot that day, and maybe, just maybe she was simply exhausted from all the activities they did. 
      A few days after, they were still here, we met again. She looked the same way through their stay here. She constantly has this look of ponder. This daydreaming sort of physical characteristic. But it doesn’t bother me at all. For all I’m concerned, if something is going with her, I’d stand up for her and protect her from whatever is to happen. 
      So, as I said it’s only a little less than a year we know each other now. We went to their house in Fl for a few days in December though, I learnt that we’re actually pretty close. Yet, I fear it could be that she only treats me this way because she thinks of me as simply her “cousin” don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about that, it’s just that she might not really feel as a feel for her because of this. I see her as a stranger. A stranger who’s simply disguised as a “second cousin”. This seems to me to be a challenge put in place by fate to exercise my heart in hopes of seeing how strong - willed I really am. Know you must, she’s my only second cousin, who’s my age. Well, frankly she’s my only cousin in general, who is my age. First and second cousins alike. 
      Cousins are supposed to feel like a distant sibling, there to give advice, moral support, empathy, but she doesn’t only do that. We’ve known each other for a measly 9 months yet, I feel like I can tell her anything. Well, at least almost, everything. I feel as though, if I were to say anything to her about how I feel, our extremely short-lived relationship would come crashing down. Like an ancient stone abode built by hand, but after centuries of love, war, death and well, age. That’s right, I’m comparing a 9-month old relationship with my second cousin to basically any structure in what was the magnificent Pompeii. I’m 14. That’s what I do. Dramatize holy crapoly!. 
      To extend on that point I made, about her looking somewhat, distraught or maybe distracted by something, god forbid someone, well, my first instinct was to help. I wanted to help her. Hold her. Console her. She always has this look, and I love it. I think I understand now, that it’s most likely the way she acts. It’s an unconscious habit for her. It doesn’t turn me off in the least.
      Her entire persona, by the way, hand in hand blends with mine. We’ve texted nearly every second of every day since that last time we met, when I was on Christmas break, at their house in Fl. I didn’t get to hold her, yet every time we say goodbye to each other, she hugs me. SHE hugs ME. I don’t even offer a hug, reason being, if I do, chances are, I’m gonna ask her to marry me. Her hugs feel amazing, yet, totally off-putting. What if it’s because she likes me too? Yay...? Then again, we live like 8,000 miles apart, and when either of us goes away, we go away. For like a couple months. So it’s likely, the hugging could be just a friendly gesture of saying goodbye. Which, without a doubt, sucks.
       
      So we text a lot. We hang out a lot. How do I approach her? ( if I should) See, I’m a afraid she could find a relationship with someone else soon, if I don’t act fast. While she’s single, while she’s young, I want to tell her how I feel. I wish to have my first kiss with her. On sexual terms, maybe even lose our virginities to one another. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Please, help. I need someone to talk to about this.
    • By Browneyedgal
      So i'm deeply in love with  a cousin and im very confused on what type of cousin he may be all i know is that we are related through the same great garndparents for me and for him great great grandparents. So i need help trying to figure it all out. I've been calling him my 4th cousin but i could be wrong (i don't want to be, but its still very confusing) so i'll start with this:
      My great grandparents had 11 childern which to him are his great great grandparents.
      One of the 11 children was my grandfather and one was his great grandmother (who was older than my grandfather)
      my grandfather had 4 children his great grandmother had 4 (i think)
      One of my grandfather's children is my mother and one of his great grandmother's children is his grandmother
      my mother had 2 children (one of them is me) his grandmother had i think 2 children (could be wrong).
      His grandmother is my mother's first cousin. 
      So what does that make me and him?
      Im very confused about it and i haven't been able to figure it out. All i know is that my immeadiate family is against us being together and his immeadiate family is not. All and any advice is greatly appreciated.
      ----------------------- Much love and thanks
                                               nanner
×
×
  • Create New...