So, here's my story. Me(21) and him(26) are cousin. He knows me inside out. And the other way around. We are like made for each other. In the meaning, i have what he dont. And he have what i dont. Its like we are not going to have preference nor personality arguing.
We rarely meet. Since we are basically live in different country. We meet at least every 2 years or more. Back then, we rarely chat to each other. We start to chat intensely last year since we have a trip plan together this year.
We are both were so distantly back then. We were never touch each other since we feel uncomfortable with that.
He came to my country last week. And i was so shocked by his change. since in the 3rd day he started to ask my hand(he says that he is cold. Yet his hands are warm to hot.) on the 4th day, he even hold my hand almost 24 hours. He even complain that his hand is burning. But he wont let go of my hand. He even do it in publicly like in a mall when we are with his good friends.
Not only that. He likes to hug me(purposely or not). He tries to sit on my lap whenever i sit beside him. He forcely asked me once to sit on his lap. But i hold my weigh since im. . .well kind of obesity and he's all boney lol.
In the 5th day. I felt something wrong with our relationship. So i asked my friend that he also willing to hold hand with(i think because he find her has the same vibe as me). And actually i want to pretend that im jealous. But in the middle, my insecure(i have this belonging guard insecure) got me lol. So i kept say "who are u? Do i know u? Dont touch me" a few times in a day. He said "why'd u say that. Im feeling sad. But I LIKE YOU".
And then i need to take my leave for school in other city. I felt guilty over what i did to him. I was thinking that im not even his gf. But it always happends to me. Either to girl or boy friends.
After i departed in my school's city, i tried to apologize to him. Via chat(because my conversation in english is not that good yet). But he insisted to call me for answer my apology. It turns out that he also think about me all day. And he almost cry because of it.
SO MY QUESTION IS. What kind of LIKE he mentioned here? Im afraid he is going to romantic road.
My friend said that we have a displacement possibility. Since he had someone he like. But got rejected before he say it.
But. . .what kind of brother sister relationship i have here? He even try to hold my hand and place it in his groin a few times when we have random chat while watching tv.
When i said my insecurity, he said that i must say what i like, or not from what he done. So he can change it to the way i want. What kind of brother would do and ask that thing to his first cousin sister?
Yesterday he caught a bad cold. And i came home just because he wont drink his medicine. As i remember he WILL listen to me. And yes. He listened me lol
The first time i came home, he said that he's so happy to see me. And he said i must know the reason. But i said that i dont. And he cutted the chat about it. We chat alot after that. He even say that i should not date a boy(idk if its a joke or not. Because he said he might be jealous)
He had a glance at my new headphone. He asked if its new. So i tell him that its from someone. He insisted i must tell him. So i tell him that its from someone who like me. And then he kept silent for a few moment while hold my shoulders from behind and then answer "but i like u too. But a different like ya?(idk if its a question or not)" the way he hold me was like trying to block my view of him.
For some reason i feel uneasy to leave that thing like that. So i tell him that actually im scared of that guy who gave me the headphone.
After that we were cuddling until bed time. We cuddling, holding hand, jokes and laughs at nothing all the time.
But he says that im his close friend and family. Does it mean he. . .doesnt realize his true feeling, trying to hide it in the name or family, feel confused because im his cousin or im really are a displacement of someone he like?
I am 16 years old, and I was 11 when I first met my cousin. In fact, she is my mother's cousin, which makes us perhaps second cousins? Whatever. She is from another country and she hadn't come to my country since she was 15, before I was born. So, she came to visit the part of her family that is from my country. At the time, I was staying at my grandparents' (I live in another part of the country, in the countryside). I was very shy to people I didn't know (and still am), and I used to be extremely bothered by kissing (in my country it's the norm to kiss female friends, family members, and people who you just got to know, if in an informal context, on the cheek), my parents would try to get me to kiss people from my family, and I'd refuse (thus seeming rude). That is probably a reason why I am not very liked by my family (except for my close relatives). Anyway, when she first got to my grandparents', I was awed, she was stunning, and even her voice sounded sexy. That had never happened to me before. She was one of the nicest people i had ever met, and she seemed to like me. I think she was impressed by my general knowledge, and lack of interest in stuff that kids did (I have always been kind of an outsider). A few days after that (I wanted to go home and my mother couldn't go there to get me) she agreed to take me home, since on the way there is the highest mountain in my country, and she wanted to go there before returning to her country. She borrowed a car from my aunt, and we spent the day together. I showed her the way, and I showed her the small town where I live (it is a historic town, and it has one of the oldest castles in my country). She stayed at my house and she had to stay in my room, so we slept on the same bed. She fell asleep before I did, I got a boner, and I fapped while looking at her. She returned in the next day, and I was really sad. After she had returned to South America, I sent her a homemade gift, and that's when we started talking a lot. I thought that crush I had on my cousin would disappear, but it has not so far. A year after that, shd moved to another country in Europe, and I was the first person she told that. She came back to visit our family a few times, I'd get super excited when she did, and super sad when she left. She would also bring me stuff that she knew I liked whenever she visited. Last year, I managed to persuade my mother to visit her (my mum had never been to where my cousin lived). We all were really happy, I had the greatest time of my life. But, that's when something strange happened. I was taking a shower and she entered the bathroom (I am almost sure she knew I was there). She said sorry, quickly left, and never spoke of it again. She came back to visit a few weeks after that, and told me about her problems (like intimate stuff, such as arguments with her boyfriend, and she is not on speaking terms with her father). When we were at a family lunch, we went to the couch to watch TV (she was wearing a cute dress) and I my phone fell. While I was getting it (from under the couch), I looked up and I saw that she had no underwear (saw her soft kitty, warm kitty). I immediately got hard. About 6 months after that, my mother allowed me to visit her again (this time alone), and one day we pulled an all nighter to watch Game of Thrones. So, that's my story.
I'm sorry for the big text.
I know many (if not most) of you will not believe that, but there's nothing I can or want to do about it. Believe whatever you want.
I'm not even sure what to ask...I've told this only to a few trustable friends, and I needed to share this with someone, because 5 years have passed and I still think about her everyday.
I want to get closer to her. We don't text much, although she tells me everything when I'm with her, and I'd love us to text often. I know she likes me a lot (even my mother says so), but I would like us to be sort of "best friends" (or something like that). I know that a relationship is nearly impossible, but I find her so attractive!
So, in short my questions are:
1- How do you think I can get closer to my cousin?
2 - How can I start a conversation with her?
3 - Should I tell her?
4 - Do you think it is possible that something (sexual) happens between us in the future?
5 - What would you do if you were me?
Please don't make fun of me. If you want to help, please go ahead; if you don't, then get lost!
i am 22 years old and am studying medicine at imperial college london. i have a cousin who is studying dentistry in london as well she is 21 and is extremely hot and kind and caring and generous and smart. we are first cousins and our fathers are brothers, however they dont have a good relationship. i first started getting these feelings when i was 17 and we were both studying our a levels in the same subjects so we grew closer as we spent a lot of time together. over time i fell in love with her and think the world of her. the only thing i wish for is to get married to this girl and have children with her. she and my mother spend a lot of time together and are really good friends who get along with each other. my father also gets on well with her, so my parents would approve of her. i dont know what to do, from what i have witnessed i think she is interested in me too and is attracted to me but im not 100% sure. we text and as we both live in london in student accomodation she texts me and asks if i want to pop over to her place and spend some time together so i visit her regularly and she loves spending time with me, i make her laugh and we talk for hours on end, sometimes we would just talk for 4 or 5 hours straight. we both get on with each other and are perfect for each other. however there is a lot of dispute going on between our families over land in pakistan. however this hasnt affected our relationship and my cousin still gets on perfectly fine with my family. i havent told anyone yet and dont know what to do. should i wait until the dispute is over and tell her and my parents? or should i persue a private relationship with her now? i dont know what to do. help me.
By Jordan Colbert
Our story started roughly 2 years ago when my cousin confessed she had feelings for me. At the time she said this is wrong and we should not be doing this. But we continued developing our relationship anyway. We planned of our lives together after marriage, babies, places to visit, things to do and so on. We lived a happy life. Now after two years of constant back and forth of; this is wrong we should not be doing it and it’s ok let’s go ahead with it, she wants to end the relationship but isn’t doing it, just putting a halt to the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect and just wants to be friends. She says, “I should have been the adult in the room. I don’t want to continue doing wrong.” She feels that when we inform our family about our intentions we will end up creating a huge and permanent split in our family. We will be the reason for our family to break apart. People will hate us. Previously at the beginning of our relationship she had said that she doesn’t care about what other people think of her. When I brought this up she said well I do care now. I tried convincing her that I’ll deal with all the heat from the family, you can even say he is the one pushing for it I’m not that interested. I’ll be able to make the family come to terms with us. But she still says even if you convince the family I know it’s wrong and my mind will not be at ease. She says even if we get married I won’t be able to live a happy life because I’ll be disturbed about the fact that we are cousins and we shouldn’t be married. Also whenever she sees other cousins they remind her that we are doing wrong. She feels bad when she sees them. Sometimes she says that I look like her brother and that makes it difficult for her. The thing I don’t understand is that these are issues that were there during the first year of our relationship, why are they becoming unbearable now. She was able to put these thoughts aside then. Why can’t she now? I asked her do you want to end our relationship? Her reply was, “Yes, sometimes I want to end it. But sometimes I don’t. I don’t know.” I said why don’t you end it then. She said, “You’ve done nothing but loved me. And that’s why it’s difficult for me to end it. I’m thinking about our relationship in a realistic way and you think in a hopeful way. There is no way our family will allow us to be together.”
I feel that if I can convince her that we are not doing anything wrong. We love each other and there’s nothing wrong about it, she might change her mind. The thing is I’ve tried everything I could to do that. But she doesn’t accept it. I’ve given her examples of cousin marriages happening for so many decades. Her response is that if people have been doing wrong that doesn’t mean we continue doing wrong.
You may think she does not love me anymore and is trying to find excuses to end our relationship. That’s not how it is. She is a tough independent woman. She does not let other people’s opinions play any role in her decision making. She thinks for herself and sticks to her decisions however painful they may be. I know her very well. She still loves me. Just not enough to marry me.