Jump to content
Vultyr

My 1st cousin and my feelings.(help)

Recommended Posts

Hello my, name is JD.

And iv fallen for my first cousin. I have told her about these feelings, and she was very kind to me. Tho she is very scared of the idea. Both of us grew up with religious influince tho md morr so than her. We spent most of my teen and adult life states away with visits once or twice a year. Tho i have allways had a strange intrest in her its when as adults she grabed my heart. I dont think anything will come from this, but its worth posting. Iv told her id never force anythong on her or pressure her. And to this day is still duper kind and nice to me. Tho my anxiety gets to me around her. What i need help with simple. What do i do with these feelings? I can never not find her atractive or awesome. So if nothing comes of it how do i act like just another family member? How do i deal with threse emotions?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think there is a simple solution to this. If you don't think anything can come of it because family backlash, that's understandable, pretty much the majority of people here have or had this fear and it can definitely be stressful. If you don't want to pursue a relationship that's completely up to you and her. I can't say for sure you'll ever completely rid yourself of your feelings for her but you could try hanging out with friends, not cutting off contact with her but maybe limiting it, picking up a hobby or countless other things to get your mind off of her and focus on you. Hopefully this helps, best of luck ?

 

PS. I just wanted to add that most of the time people focus to much on what others May think and then it ends up not being as big of a deal..This isn't always the case of course but just thought I would throw that out there.

Edited by quarter25

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Similar Content

    • By mohammed.hussain
      i am 22 years old and am studying medicine at imperial college london. i have a cousin who is studying dentistry in london as well she is 21 and is extremely hot and kind and caring and generous and smart. we are first cousins and our fathers are brothers, however they dont have a good relationship. i first started getting these feelings when i was 17 and we were both studying our a levels in the same subjects so we grew closer as we spent a lot of time together. over time i fell in love with her and think the world of her. the only thing i wish for is to get married to this girl and have children with her. she and my mother spend a lot of time together and are really good friends who get along with each other. my father also gets on well with her, so my parents would approve of her. i dont know what to do, from what i have witnessed i think she is interested in me too and is attracted to me but im not 100% sure. we text and as we both live in london in student accomodation she texts me and asks if i want to pop over to her place and spend some time together so i visit her regularly and she loves spending time with me, i make her laugh and we talk for hours on end, sometimes we would just talk for 4 or 5 hours straight. we both get on with each other and are perfect for each other. however there is a lot of dispute going on between our families over land in pakistan. however this hasnt affected our relationship and my cousin still gets on perfectly fine with my family. i havent told anyone yet and dont know what to do. should i wait until the dispute is over and tell her and my parents? or should i persue a private relationship with her now? i dont know what to do. help me.
    • By Jordan Colbert
      Our story started roughly 2 years ago when my cousin confessed she had feelings for me. At the time she said this is wrong and we should not be doing this. But we continued developing our relationship anyway. We planned of our lives together after marriage, babies, places to visit, things to do and so on. We lived a happy life. Now after two years of constant back and forth of; this is wrong we should not be doing it and it’s ok let’s go ahead with it, she wants to end the relationship but isn’t doing it, just putting a halt to the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect and just wants to be friends. She says, “I should have been the adult in the room. I don’t want to continue doing wrong.” She feels that when we inform our family about our intentions we will end up creating a huge and permanent split in our family. We will be the reason for our family to break apart. People will hate us. Previously at the beginning of our relationship she had said that she doesn’t care about what other people think of her. When I brought this up she said well I do care now. I tried convincing her that I’ll deal with all the heat from the family, you can even say he is the one pushing for it I’m not that interested. I’ll be able to make the family come to terms with us. But she still says even if you convince the family I know it’s wrong and my mind will not be at ease. She says even if we get married I won’t be able to live a happy life because I’ll be disturbed about the fact that we are cousins and we shouldn’t be married. Also whenever she sees other cousins they remind her that we are doing wrong. She feels bad when she sees them. Sometimes she says that I look like her brother and that makes it difficult for her. The thing I don’t understand is that these are issues that were there during the first year of our relationship, why are they becoming unbearable now. She was able to put these thoughts aside then. Why can’t she now? I asked her do you want to end our relationship? Her reply was, “Yes, sometimes I want to end it. But sometimes I don’t. I don’t know.” I said why don’t you end it then. She said, “You’ve done nothing but loved me. And that’s why it’s difficult for me to end it. I’m thinking about our relationship in a realistic way and you think in a hopeful way. There is no way our family will allow us to be together.” 
      I feel that if I can convince her that we are not doing anything wrong. We love each other and there’s nothing wrong about it, she might change her mind. The thing is I’ve tried everything I could to do that. But she doesn’t accept it. I’ve given her examples of cousin marriages happening for so many decades. Her response is that if people have been doing wrong that doesn’t mean we continue doing wrong. 
      You may think she does not love me anymore and is trying to find excuses to end our relationship. That’s not how it is. She is a tough independent woman. She does not let other people’s opinions play any role in her decision making. She thinks for herself and sticks to her decisions however painful they may be. I know her very well. She still loves me. Just not enough to marry me. 
    • By Ken
      I only grew up with 3 cousins, from the same uncle. Oldest was male, 3yrs younger than me. And 2 girls, 5 and 7yrs younger.
      And I have 2 older brothers, and one younger brother.
      So, the older of the girls, L, was like my shadow. Every time they were around she was right there. No matter what us boys were doing, she was like a little puppy just following as close to me as possible. I was always flattered by her, because I am very introverted, and she was so accepting of me. They were exposed to so much alcoholism, abuse, neglect, abandonment from her parents/step-parents. And she always felt loved by us (me).
      So, I get married at 19, and things that happened in her life, we lose contact. 20yrs go by. She never lived more than an hour drive from where we lived, but I didn't know.
      She reaches out on FaceBook 7yrs ago... to ask for a family reunion, of sorts, with her Dad's side of the family. Her Dad just left right before they reached their teen years, and NEVER tried to contact them again.
      Anyway... I had butterflies in my stomach. We were both married with kids. But the exact second I walked in, and our eyes met...I felt a fire ignite inside me. We walked straight to each other and hugged. I could have never described the feeling I had right then.
      But I figured out pretty quick, that I fell in love with her. She is my soulmate. We have had multiple discussions about how we know we are true soulmates. And I finally said the words to her... "L, I am in love with you". And she said "I know, I feel the same."
      So much more to the story.....
    • By Guest Of CC
      My first cousin crush was my 2nd crush.
      We did a staring contest and got too close, And made things awkward.
      I don't know how this happen but I get cousin crushes more often.
×