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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Blackbird45

Sealed Fate

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Guest Blackbird45

I've written here not too long ago and much has happened. My cousin ended things with me and I ended all communication with him because it did me more harm then good to be talking to him. This break up really messed me up to be honest but with my desire to follow God and with therapy, I've been moving. Slowly but I'm moving from the place of despair and brokenness. See my cousin earlier this year said that if he could change what we were, he would be with me in a heart beat. Well a couple months later I discovered that he got a girlfriend and that would have been the end of me to be honest; however, I got through it. Somehow I did.

It's been three month since I've found out about his girlfriend and yesterday I received some news. My cousin got his girlfriend pregnant and the wedding will be next month. The blood drained from my face and all I could do or say was, "I knew it." Guys I can't explain why but I felt deep in my heart and soul that something like this would happened. I prayed. I pleaded God to spare the girl because she was someone I looked up to. She was someone whom I believe was a godly woman. I wanted to be her. I wanted to be a godly woman like her so it crushed me when I heard she got pregnant with his baby. "Why Lord?" I asked. Why couldnt he spared her like he spared me? My cousin messed up and to get married like this...it isn't what any of them wanted! My heart is heavy because of what I feel regarding my cousin. I pray and hope he doesn't love me in any way because he is going to be a husband and a father soon. Marriage is nothing to take lightly so I'll pray that they can be the exception. I'll pray. Ill pray because it's a sealed fate.

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Well things don't always go as planned in life and sometimes people rush into sex and marriage. Although it isn't ideal, I hope that the baby is healthy and taken care of. I also hope that he takes his new responsibilities seriously and that you aren't suffering from all of this. 

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Guest Blackbird45

I hope the same. 

As for me...ive suffered already so much and there isnt much left to break when everything is already broken. There isn't anything I'll say or do that will change what is reality and I've accepted that fact.

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I'm sorry for your pain :( I pray that your emotional wounds are healed and wish you nothing but happiness in your life moving forward **hugs**

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You are not responsible for her.  Or for him.  You cannot bear the burden of their relationship to God or to each other.  They have made their choices.  

Stop praying for them (I don't say that very often) because it's only dredging up painful feelings for you and leading you to believe that your prayers will alter their character.  I don't believe it will.  If she wants to be a godly woman, that onus is on her and has nothing to do with your interceptions on her behalf.

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Guest Blackbird45

@quarter25 Thank you for your words.

@Serendipity Not going to lie. Your words are harsh truths but you are right. Its true. Ita bot my burden to take. Thank you

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