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My cousin isn't much expressive when it comes to his feelings. I can assume he likes me but not sure.
Talking about sex with him, it's very hot and passionate. We would always stare into each other's eyes the whole time we make love. He loves to pleasure me without asking for it in return and feels happy seeing me orgasm.
Even though I did an embarrassing thing while we were doing it, he still didn't find it bad. He just took me in his arms, kissed me and told me it's alright. One night when we were having sex he got on top of me holding me tightly in his arms and groaning sexily as I wrapped my arms and legs around him and pulled him close, there was an urgency in him where we were in that position. I once asked him why he wanted me that much that he couldn't think of any other girls. He replied "that's because it's you, silly".
The sex tells me his feelings for me runs deeper. What do you think?
Sorry for the long description but I need some advice.
My maternal first cousin recently had a bad separation. His ex cheated on him and broke his trust. Although he told me he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore I think he hasn't moved on completely yet. The reason I say this because I've accidentally found her picture in his wallet.
Anyway, so I met my cousin after 7 years. We had a thing 7 years back but that didn't last for some reason. Now, that I met him again the spark started to return. We both are deeply attracted to each other and sexual tension is massive. As we didn't want to be in a relationship for a reason we agreed to be fwb.
I lost my virginity to him and the sex was freaking awesome. He just LOVED sex with me. The sex had always been passionate and hot. He's obsessed with me. He had always wanted to make love to me. He even told me I turn him on like he never thought was possible and to him I was irresistible. He even said he never felt this chemistry with anyone else. I had given him massive turn offs at times yet it didn't stop him from wanting me. Not to mention he genuinely cared a lot about me. He loved taking me out and spending time with me. Used to get offended if I didn't join him while eating. And felt twinge of jealousy if I talked to other guys.
I ended the fwb relationship with him for a reason and told him. He was deeply hurt, I could see a certain pain in his eyes. He reluctantly agreed without wanting to know the reason. And from that day he has become aloof and distant. He still cares about me and talks to me but he's toned down.
Is it how fwb supposed to feel when the relationship is over? Why is my cousin behaving like this? He's a very experienced man and compared to him I am a novice who can't even give a proper bj, what's so sexy about me that used to turn him on like crazy?
OK for the sake of this post her name is going to be Sharkesha. I'm sorry this is long, but I need to express everything and I hope you guys understand and continue to still read it.
I really like my first cousin Sharkesha. She is so beautiful and adorable but she's 17 and I'm 24. We're cousins, so I don't want anything between us, no dating, no sex etc. We don't talk that much because she's shy. I do have immense paranoia though.
I really like Sharkesha and want to know if she likes me back. She lives on the other side of the country. Me and my family visit them and other relatives in California every year for a few weeks and everytime I just can't stop thinking about her.
I don't care if she likes me or not because we can't go out anyways. I just want to know if she does like me or not because it will ease my paranoia so much anytime I see her. If she likes me, I will always know that she likes me when we see each other. If she doesn't like me but just as a cousin, I'll will always know that which is perfectly fine.
Sharkesha is hella bipolar I feel. One day it seems like she likes me because one day she sometimes would look at me and then if I catch her, she'll immediately turn her head or eyes away but I only noticed it one night. Then the next day it would seem like she doesn't know I'm even there and her attitude seems like she's very tired or pissed off or depressed about something. I don't know.
How can I tell if she likes me?
I mean like one time they invited us to dinner at a nice place so I wore a dope red jeans with sick button down shirt and banging black shoes with nice hair style kind of. I walked out the car looking like a million bucks. I see her right outside the door of her car staring at me. IDK it felt like she saw what I was wearing and all that and thought in her head "damn he looks good." Im just assuming though. We walked over to them and we were giving our hugs and kisses as a way of greeting our relatives like we always do. It kind of did look like she was very excited to give me a hug then. She smiled and said "hey" as she gave me a hug with a little giggle like she normally does but with a little more giggle in it then normal. At the restaurant, Sharkesha wasn't directly in front of me sitting but off to the side where she was kind of the third wheel in the conversations me, my sisters and Sharkesha's brother were having. She couldn't really hear the conversation much. She would glance over at me a lot that night (the way I looked maybe? IDK). When I was talking, I would glance at her to let her know she's a part of the conversation and not a third wheel. Everytime I speak in general, to her or a group she's in, she would smile at me while listening but not 100% sure if she does it to others as well. I need to pay attention to that. She would laugh at some stupid things I say or do that not many would laugh at.
One more thing we did that I want to mention. They invited us to go to the beach for 2 days and stay at a hotel. I work out so I have some abs, so I'm looking my sexiest with wet hair and some muscle, lean, trunks on, shirtless (no I'm not narcissistic or anything) My goodness though, she is looking beautiful with her bathing suit and everything (OK I'm not a pedo or anything, she just looks so much more adorable and cute like in a highschool crush kind of way but in a bathing suit). I can't take it with her looking beautiful as ever not just at the pool but in general as well. We went to the pool and she looks a few times at me but I wasn't paying attention if she was looking at me in the crush kind of way but IDK. Me, Sharkesha and my sisters get into the pool and yes she's laughing at some dumb things I say and some things I'm doing. Also smiling as well whenever I'm talking or doing something directed at her. I still don't know but I swore I saw her as I was in the pool and she was laying out that she was secretly recording me but who knows.
The thing that worried me was we went to the ocean and decided to take a selfie with the family towards the end of the day. My face is not fully in the frame, so Sharkesha says a little loud but happily to me "get in the frame." as she says that she reaches over and pushes my shoulder (more like a long but quick tap) to get me closer to the camera. As she does that, she cuts herself off and stops talking while immediately moving her hand quickly from my shoulder area. We take the photo and she is almost dead silent the rest of the night. Her bipolar kicks in (not sure if she has it, I'm just assuming) and forgets I'm even there. She walks farthest away from everyone in front. She was doing that the whole night. Barley talking, waking farthest from everyone and seemed like she was depressed at certain times but was kind of hiding it I feel and in a rush when going back to hotel.
I don't know what's wrong with her. Maybe something is bothering her IDK. I feel like its me. Like right after the shoulder thing, bipolar kicks in. I mean yea, the bipolar happened before a few times but I don't know if she knows I like her or not but maybe that's bothering her, I don't know.
I need help. I really like her and want to know if she likes me. I can't tell. It was her birthday a week ago and I wrote on her facebook wall "Happy B-Day Sharkesha!!" she liked the comment and responded with "Thanks Chad ❤❤" I happen to upload a new profile picture that day which she liked right after she liked my Happy Birthday to her. The thing is, she never likes my facebook posts. I only get on facebook like once a month, not even sometimes because facebook is going downhill which is the reason my FB is not to engaging amongst others with likes and comments etc. but maybe that's besides the point I don't know.
Please help. Does she like me, does she not? Does she know I like her, does she not. Is nothing happening and I'm just thinking it is. What should I do? My paranoia with all this is making me depressed and thinking to much about her, I can't take it.
I know this is a long one just bare with me and please try to help
I'm 21 yr old male and my cousin she's 19 yrs old (my mothers younger sister's daughter), my feelings towards her started when i was in university, she used to hang out in my house most of the time and we usually talk about random things back then,
recently some time ago things started to get a little bit physical you know showing cleavage(most of the time), she touches me in playful ways,and if i touch her "accidentally" by her chest or butt she never says anything and behaves like nothing had happened (for example: once we all the cousins had a outing to celebrate one of them getting married after that the party was over and it was getting late most of the rids we came in already left there was only one car after we crammed inside there was no space left for her in the car and one of my cousins(female ,who knows something is going on between us) told her to sit on my lap, she refused at first after a minute or two she came in and sat on my lap half of her butt was on my stomach like she had no room to fit (but it was a decently spaced car with more room to spare) and she told not to touch her anywhere or laugh on the way, I wanted to tease her and laughed for a minute and she did not take it seriously and told me to stop , I wanted to annoy her more and placed my hand on her thigh she did not say anything i grabbed it tightly but no reaction she was quite and she started to move my hand because she thought someone might see and after that my place came I got out of the car and she gave me a look like it was not angry nor happy(hard to tell), this all happened on Christmas holidays and next day she talked to like nothing had happened and after that we did not get a chance to meet because of our work,
2 months ago i contacted her and we decided to meet in her house after i went there her mother was also there we talked and had lunch together after that her mother went to sleep, we both decided to watch a movie and i sat close to her she did not say anything as usual after a while we decided to talk about relationships, and after some time i decided to leave and i asked for a hug i don't know what came over me and i told that i love her she did not say anything as if she didn't hear it at all and before going i slapped her in the butt (just for a tease and to make her react) she told me that" we should be doing this you should not touch me", i replied that "we used to touch all the time" after a moment of silence she told "that was when we were younger but not now", i said okay fine and casually changed the topic that she can sometimes hangout in my house she said okay and will come after 10 days or so because she had some work and i left after that and later that evening i called her and casually asked what she was doing she told that she was hanging out with her friends and she will meet up later, BUT after that(4 days time ) she blocked me on all social media that we are connected to, i thought i did something bad and decided not to call or bother her and give her space to think,
during this two long months i wanted to see her and talk to her but i decided to wait and 10 or 15 days ago i randomly downloaded a social media app and she was in it but i decided not to talk and 2 days ago i found out that she also blocked me on that app too. i seriously don't know that to do and how to approach her again
things are playing in my mind like
what if she tells both our parents and relatives what had happened
what if she hates me and is not going to talk to me again
my birthday is coming up and i invited all my cousins but don't know how to talk to her and make her come to the event so i can have a proper conversation with her
can some one give advice on what to do? please i really love her..