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Harambe

I really like my cousin but the paranoia is killing me

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OK for the sake of this post her name is going to be Sharkesha. I'm sorry this is long, but I need to express everything and I hope you guys understand and continue to still read it. 

I really like my first cousin Sharkesha. She is so beautiful and adorable but she's 17 and I'm 24. We're cousins, so I don't want anything between us, no dating, no sex etc. We don't talk that much because she's shy. I do have immense paranoia though. 

I really like Sharkesha and want to know if she likes me back. She lives on the other side of the country. Me and my family visit them and other relatives in California every year for a few weeks and everytime I just can't stop thinking about her. 

I don't care if she likes me or not because we can't go out anyways. I just want to know if she does like me or not because it will ease my paranoia so much anytime I see her. If she likes me, I will always know that she likes me when we see each other. If she doesn't like me but just as a cousin, I'll will always know that which is perfectly fine. 

Sharkesha is hella bipolar I feel. One day it seems like she likes me because one day she sometimes would look at me and then if I catch her, she'll immediately turn her head or eyes away but I only noticed it one night. Then the next day it would seem like she doesn't know I'm even there and her attitude seems like she's very tired or pissed off or depressed about something. I don't know. 

How can I tell if she likes me? 

I mean like one time they invited us to dinner at a nice place so I wore a dope red jeans with sick button down shirt and banging black shoes with nice hair style kind of. I walked out the car looking like a million bucks. I see her right outside the door of her car staring at me. IDK it felt like she saw what I was wearing and all that and thought in her head "damn he looks good." Im just assuming though. We walked over to them and we were giving our hugs and kisses as a way of greeting our relatives like we always do. It kind of did look like she was very excited to give me a hug then. She smiled and said "hey" as she gave me a hug with a little giggle like she normally does but with a little more giggle in it then normal. At the restaurant, Sharkesha wasn't directly in front of me sitting but off to the side where she was kind of the third wheel in the conversations me, my sisters and Sharkesha's brother were having. She couldn't really hear the conversation much. She would glance over at me a lot that night (the way I looked maybe? IDK). When I was talking, I would glance at her to let her know she's a part of the conversation and not a third wheel.  Everytime I speak in general, to her or a group she's in, she would smile at me while listening but not 100% sure if she does it to others as well. I need to pay attention to that. She would laugh at some stupid things I say or do that not many would laugh at. 

One more thing we did that I want to mention. They invited us to go to the beach for 2 days and stay at a hotel. I work out so I have some abs, so I'm looking my sexiest with wet hair and some muscle, lean, trunks on, shirtless (no I'm not narcissistic or anything)  My goodness though, she is looking beautiful with her bathing suit and everything (OK I'm not a pedo or anything, she just looks so much more adorable and cute like in a highschool crush kind of way but in a bathing suit). I can't take it with her looking beautiful as ever not just at the pool but in general as well. We went to the pool and she looks a few times at me but I wasn't paying attention if she was looking at me in the crush kind of way but IDK. Me, Sharkesha and my sisters get into the pool and yes she's laughing at some dumb things I say and some things I'm doing. Also smiling as well whenever I'm talking or doing something directed at her. I still don't know but I swore I saw her as I was in the pool and she was laying out that she was secretly recording me but who knows. 

The thing that worried me was we went to the ocean and decided to take a selfie with the family towards the end of the day. My face is not fully in the frame, so Sharkesha says a little loud but happily to me "get in the frame." as she says that she reaches over and pushes my shoulder (more like a long but quick tap) to get me closer to the camera. As she does that, she cuts herself off and stops talking while immediately moving her hand quickly from my shoulder area. We take the photo and she is almost dead silent the rest of the night. Her bipolar kicks in (not sure if she has it, I'm just assuming) and forgets I'm even there. She walks farthest away from everyone in front. She was doing that the whole night. Barley talking, waking farthest from everyone and seemed like she was depressed at certain times but was kind of hiding it I feel and in a rush when going back to hotel. 

I don't know what's wrong with her. Maybe something is bothering her IDK. I feel like its me. Like right after the shoulder thing, bipolar kicks in. I mean yea, the bipolar happened before a few times but I don't know if she knows I like her or not but maybe that's bothering her, I don't know. 

I need help. I really like her and want to know if she likes me. I can't tell. It was her birthday a week ago and I wrote on her facebook wall "Happy B-Day Sharkesha!!" she liked the comment and responded with "Thanks Chad ❤❤" I happen to upload a new profile picture that day which she liked right after she liked my Happy Birthday to her. The thing is, she never likes my facebook posts. I only get on facebook like once a month, not even sometimes because facebook is going downhill which is the reason my FB is not to engaging amongst others with likes and comments etc. but maybe that's besides the point I don't know. 

Please help. Does she like me, does she not? Does she know I like her, does she not. Is nothing happening and I'm just thinking it is. What should I do? My paranoia with all this is making me depressed and thinking to much about her, I can't take it.

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We can't tell you if she likes you, we can only make assumptions from the information you've provided.

Could she like you? Possibly. She's a teen, almost of age but a teen nonetheless. You haven't given a lot of information about her besides that you think she might have a crush on you. She's still young and trying to figure her self out, hormones are still bouncing around and she's still developing emotionally. She should be focusing on schooling, friends her age, dating boys her age and just being young in general.

You should also be focusing on yourself, if you're not interested in a relationship then it really doesn't matter how she feels (also taking in the things I've mentioned above). If you're in college concentrate on that, hang out with friends and as with her, date girls your own age. There's really no need to stress yourself out over all this, so take care of you and treat her the way you always have.

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8 hours ago, quarter25 said:

We can't tell you if she likes you, we can only make assumptions from the information you've provided.

Could she like you? Possibly. She's a teen, almost of age but a teen nonetheless. You haven't given a lot of information about her besides that you think she might have a crush on you. She's still young and trying to figure her self out, hormones are still bouncing around and she's still developing emotionally. She should be focusing on schooling, friends her age, dating boys her age and just being young in general.

You should also be focusing on yourself, if you're not interested in a relationship then it really doesn't matter how she feels (also taking in the things I've mentioned above). If you're in college concentrate on that, hang out with friends and as with her, date girls your own age. There's really no need to stress yourself out over all this, so take care of you and treat her the way you always have.

What more information do you want? I would love to just focus on myself and not worry about her because were not going to form a relationship or anything anyway but I see her almost every other day, so it's hard. If she doesnt give me any signs at all that she even cares, then OK I'll know she doesn't like me but she does give signs but its still hard to tell with them. If she wasn't my cousin, oh yea she likes me. With a cousin these signs could be a friendly cousin kind of thing but you don't know which is why I'm paranoid and need to know. I can't keep feeling depressed like this. I'm trying to get stop thinking about her but I just can't. 

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Why are you worried about whether or not she likes you, if you aren't planning to pursue a relationship either way? She doesn't sound bipolar, she sounds like a teenager. It also sounds to me like you aren't being entirely honest with yourself, that in fact, you would like to pursue a relationship with her. Otherwise why care? But Quarter25's right, no amount of information you give on a message board can determine whether or not she likes you; the only way to know for sure would be to ask her. I wouldn't recommend that, not because you are cousins, but because 17 and 24 is a pretty big age gap, and she's not legally an adult.

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Well your question was if your cousin liked you, so one would assume that you'd give a bit more information about her.

I'll stick to the advice I gave above and also agree with what Miss Price has added. Go live your life, stop stressing over something if your only interest is curiosity, what would be the point of knowing if she likes you if you have no intention of acting on it?

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3 minutes ago, quarter25 said:

Well your question was if your cousin liked you, so one would assume that you'd give a bit more information about her.

I'll stick to the advice I gave above and also agree with what Miss Price has added. Go live your life, stop stressing over something if your only interest is curiosity, what would be the point of knowing if she likes you if you have no intention of acting on it?

Did you guys read the post. I don't see how this whole long post doesn't give enough info. Also the post talks about my paranoia which is the reason why I want to know. Everytime I see her, it bothers me. 

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Yes, read the post.

We can only make assumptions, we are not mind readers nor do we know your cousin personally. Both of us have stated that she sounds like a normal teen, only she can tell you if there is more to her actions.

Your paranoia is your problem, not hers. If you don't want anything to come of this then leave it be. Stop obsessing over it and live your life.

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