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Cousin Couples from the Philippines let's unite here

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Hi guys! :) I currently found out about this site, I'm so thankful kasi hindi lang pala kami ni bf/cous ang may ganitong relationship. We've been together for almost 4 years now, and unfortunately LDR kami through out our relationship. 21 ako and he's 28, for now wala naman kaming problem kahit madami na kaming napagdaanan. Hindi pa rin alam ng family namin yung about samin, pero may balak kaming magreveal sa kanila but we just don't know how kasi ang hirap. And ang balak na lang po namin for now is mag-ipon so that when the right time comes, prepared kami sa possible na consequences. And we really want to have a family, want din naming ikasal pero we don't know how and where since bawal nga daw dito. :( Hayyyy. 

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Guest juan

will i consider on giving up on my gf, my 2nd degree cousin. we're both inlove, so much. pero the case was her father was not on our approval. she decided for a break up, but i can feel na love nya talaga ako. 4years na kami sana. what to do??

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Guest Filam

I need some advice from you all. I'm half Pinoy from the US and i think I've fallen in love with my 2nd cousin. I've only been with her in person twice now during my visits to the Philippines, but we've kept contact online after we met the first time. It's not a lustful attraction either, she's an amazing person and I just long to be with her 247. I have a feeling that she might feel the same way but also is keeping it in due to the fact that we're family. My biggest questions to you guys are is how would a Filipino family react to this situation? I know everyone's different but I'd like to get some advice. I don't want to pursue this any further if it will completely ruin the bonds I share with my family here, especially her mom who is really cool and caring to me. We're both young adults now, but I'd still be worried about making things weird with our parents. 

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19 hours ago, Guest Filam said:

I need some advice from you all. I'm half Pinoy from the US and i think I've fallen in love with my 2nd cousin. I've only been with her in person twice now during my visits to the Philippines, but we've kept contact online after we met the first time. It's not a lustful attraction either, she's an amazing person and I just long to be with her 247. I have a feeling that she might feel the same way but also is keeping it in due to the fact that we're family. My biggest questions to you guys are is how would a Filipino family react to this situation? I know everyone's different but I'd like to get some advice. I don't want to pursue this any further if it will completely ruin the bonds I share with my family here, especially her mom who is really cool and caring to me. We're both young adults now, but I'd still be worried about making things weird with our parents. 

Hi there,

Which part of the US are you at? To answer though: Filipino families will be shocked to say the least.

How old are you guys?

Pooch

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Guest Eiborema09

pooch?

di nga? oo may mga narinig nq katulad natin sa pinas pero support group? hmmmmm mejo kakatakot sa una, pero andito na....sige sige

 

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Guest Eiborema09
   On 5/13/2017 at 6:18 AM, Guest Eiborema09 said: 

we have been both together for 13 years now, but 2 months ago she broke up because she said she couldnt lie anymore about her status and people on her part is urging her to have a relationship ( mom, aunts, etc etc ), but her sister and brother, and some of her neighbors that i am her boyfriend

she told me she wanted to post our pictures but could not because of what society might think of us, she wanted to shout out to the world that i am hers and now she suddenly gave up on us...we are from an Asian country where 1st are illegal, but some couples i know were married because of pregnancy ( 1st cous also )

i am still so in love with her and would to anything to have her back, we both have an agreement now, i can talk to her, everyday take care of her everyday but, she will not respond as she used to...one sided love affair as to speak

i feel that she still loves me and she admitted that fact and thinks of me everyday still, but she's afraid and i do not know now how to encourage her 

to make matters worst, we are in a LDR state

i just wish society will just let us be...on my side except for my mum and second brother, close friends knows of how we are, my sister in law knows...and they've accepted us...i am just too frustrated abd broken right now....13 years like it was nothing at all

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we have been both together for 13 years now, but 2 months ago she broke up because she said she couldnt lie anymore about her status and people on her part is urging her to have a relationship ( mom, aunts, etc etc ), but her sister and brother, and some of her neighbors that i am her boyfriend

she told me she wanted to post our pictures but could not because of what society might think of us, she wanted to shout out to the world that i am hers and now she suddenly gave up on us...we are from an Asian country where 1st are illegal, but some couples i know were married because of pregnancy ( 1st cous also )

i am still so in love with her and would to anything to have her back, we both have an agreement now, i can talk to her, everyday take care of her everyday but, she will not respond as she used to...one sided love affair as to speak

i feel that she still loves me and she admitted that fact and thinks of me everyday still, but she's afraid and i do not know now how to encourage her 

to make matters worst, we are in a LDR state

i just wish society will just let us be...on my side except for my mum and second brother, close friends knows of how we are, my sister in law knows...and they've accepted us...i am just too frustrated abd broken right now....13 years like it was nothing at all

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3 hours ago, 9/9/2004 said:

Pooch,

member nq, aq yung 13 years

glad to be here

Welcome sa CC. hehe. :)

Unang tanong: Okay ka lang ba? Tingin ko eh hindi tayo magkalayo ng edad. hehe. Nasa early 30s ako. Ikaw? :D

 

Pooch

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3 hours ago, 9/9/2004 said:

we have been both together for 13 years now, but 2 months ago she broke up because she said she couldnt lie anymore about her status and people on her part is urging her to have a relationship ( mom, aunts, etc etc ), but her sister and brother, and some of her neighbors that i am her boyfriend

she told me she wanted to post our pictures but could not because of what society might think of us, she wanted to shout out to the world that i am hers and now she suddenly gave up on us...we are from an Asian country where 1st are illegal, but some couples i know were married because of pregnancy ( 1st cous also )

i am still so in love with her and would to anything to have her back, we both have an agreement now, i can talk to her, everyday take care of her everyday but, she will not respond as she used to...one sided love affair as to speak

i feel that she still loves me and she admitted that fact and thinks of me everyday still, but she's afraid and i do not know now how to encourage her 

to make matters worst, we are in a LDR state

i just wish society will just let us be...on my side except for my mum and second brother, close friends knows of how we are, my sister in law knows...and they've accepted us...i am just too frustrated abd broken right now....13 years like it was nothing at all

13 years? Wow.. Phew! Antagal niyo na rin pala.. :) I'm glad na hindi ako nag-iisa na tumagal din ang relasyon na ganun. Wag ka masyado malungkot brad... Alam kong mahirap, nadaanan ko na rin kasi yan... first love ko si gf-cousin eh. :D

Pero kamusta naman na daw siya? So siya nasa Pinas, ikaw naman OFW?

Pooch

 

PS: Wag ka mag-alala dito.. Anonymous lahat ng nandito. ;)

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Hi Pooch,

 

Nope, im nearing the magic number 4-0, but i do look way way early late 20's....well, nag uusap kami, inaalagaan q parin sya, ang sakit lang minsan kasi walang reciprocity, though sinasabi nya na naiisip nya aq parati, gusto pa raw nya kaso may ang problema sya, she's been in a alot of stress lately and depress sya...so, ayun, ako itong sobrang mahal na mahal sya, ayun, parating andyan ako kapag lelangan nya....

yup aq OFW hahahaha, naiinggit nga sya at marami aq outlet dito, 

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10 minutes ago, pooch said:

13 years? Wow.. Phew! Antagal niyo na rin pala.. :) I'm glad na hindi ako nag-iisa na tumagal din ang relasyon na ganun. Wag ka masyado malungkot brad... Alam kong mahirap, nadaanan ko na rin kasi yan... first love ko si gf-cousin eh. :D

Pero kamusta naman na daw siya? So siya nasa Pinas, ikaw naman OFW?

Pooch

 

PS: Wag ka mag-alala dito.. Anonymous lahat ng nandito. ;)

 

15 minutes ago, pooch said:

Welcome sa CC. hehe. :)

Unang tanong: Okay ka lang ba? Tingin ko eh hindi tayo magkalayo ng edad. hehe. Nasa early 30s ako. Ikaw? :D

 

Pooch

 

On 1/12/2017 at 0:06 PM, Ms. KP said:

Hi guys! :) I currently found out about this site, I'm so thankful kasi hindi lang pala kami ni bf/cous ang may ganitong relationship. We've been together for almost 4 years now, and unfortunately LDR kami through out our relationship. 21 ako and he's 28, for now wala naman kaming problem kahit madami na kaming napagdaanan. Hindi pa rin alam ng family namin yung about samin, pero may balak kaming magreveal sa kanila but we just don't know how kasi ang hirap. And ang balak na lang po namin for now is mag-ipon so that when the right time comes, prepared kami sa possible na consequences. And we really want to have a family, want din naming ikasal pero we don't know how and where since bawal nga daw dito. :( Hayyyy. 

 

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ms KP,

 

ang alam ko, kung parehas kayo lalaban, walang hahadlang ng kahit sino man...build a foundation na walang makakagiba...for sure magiging maayos kayo and in time people will accept you both, praying for the best

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18 hours ago, 9/9/2004 said:

ms KP,

 

ang alam ko, kung parehas kayo lalaban, walang hahadlang ng kahit sino man...build a foundation na walang makakagiba...for sure magiging maayos kayo and in time people will accept you both, praying for the best

Yayy. Thank you. :)

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On ‎5‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 0:34 AM, 9/9/2004 said:

Hi Pooch,

 

Nope, im nearing the magic number 4-0, but i do look way way early late 20's....well, nag uusap kami, inaalagaan q parin sya, ang sakit lang minsan kasi walang reciprocity, though sinasabi nya na naiisip nya aq parati, gusto pa raw nya kaso may ang problema sya, she's been in a alot of stress lately and depress sya...so, ayun, ako itong sobrang mahal na mahal sya, ayun, parating andyan ako kapag lelangan nya....

yup aq OFW hahahaha, naiinggit nga sya at marami aq outlet dito, 

Oh, ikaw pala ang pinaka-kuya dito eh, kung ganun. lol. :D Ako, early 30s, nagumpisa relationship naming ni pinsan ko I was 17 and siya naman 15. We are going for 14-15 na. :) Marami ring pinagdaanan... I can relate sa sitwasyon mo..

Question lang:

Ito ba ang first time ninyong nagbreakup or meron na rin before? I mean, 13 years kamo eh. So marami na rin talaga kayong pinagdaanan. Then sabi mo,

Quote

but her sister and brother, and some of her neighbors that i am her boyfriend

So marami na rin ang nakakaalam pala sa paligid. Ganito rin ang nakikita kong magiging sitwasyon ko eh. Malalapit kasi kami sa pamilya and so ang mga kapatid ko ang una kong pagsasabihan (especially the ones na tingin kong papabor). Then eventually palawak papunta sa mga magulang ko. I am thinking sa sitwasyon ko eh 5 more years pa.. Nag-iipon pa ako eh. hehe.
Gusto ko sanang malaman kung bakit siya nakipagbreak. Sabi mo,

Quote

 


she told me she wanted to post our pictures but could not because of what society might think of us, she wanted to shout out to the world that i am hers and now she suddenly gave up on us...we are from an Asian country where 1st are illegal, but some couples i know were married because of pregnancy ( 1st cous also )

 

Ilang taon na ba siya? I am thinking mid to late 30s na rin ba?

Gusto ko malaman kung bakit siya sumuko? :( Nangyari kasi ito sa relationship ko and siya rin ang sumuko. Naging LDR din kasi kami ng gf ko and it was tough. Nandito ako sa Canada at siya naman sa Pinas. And ang hirap talaga. You name it: timezone difference, lifestyle difference, status difference, and so on and so forth. Eventually, it will happen to the best of us. Alam mo yun? Yun ang pinakamalungkot na part ng relationship namin -- it happened on the 5th year ng relationship namin. Kaya naman I want to know her status. Anong damdamin at state niya sa ngayon. May trabaho ba siya? Nag-aaaral? Nakatira sa magulang? There's gotta be a reason kung bakit siya sumuko.. :(

Hopefully walang third party?

 

The rest of the post, hindi ko na replyan muna ah? Ayoko kasi nito eh:

Quote

i am still so in love with her and would to anything to have her back, we both have an agreement now, i can talk to her, everyday take care of her everyday but, she will not respond as she used to...one sided love affair as to speak

This is a horrible way to live kuya. SNAP OUT OF IT. Wag kang papayag sa ganito. Either she is in or she is out; you are in or you are out. Either gagaguhin ka niya or ikaw ang manggagago sa kanya or gagaguhin mo ang sarili mo. Brad, maawa ka at least sa sarili mo at sa puso mo. No no no.. Torture yan brad. Yes, hindi ko alam kung anong sitwasyon mo pero at least sa face value eh hindi mo pwedeng gawin yung naka-quote na red. Mawawalan ka ng respeto sa sarili mo, mawawalan siya sa respeto sa iyo at mawawalan ka ng control sa relationship ninyo. Eh ikaw yung lalake eh -- either break up talaga kayo or tuloy kayong dalawa. Hindi pwede yang one sided love affair kuya. Lason yan, maniwala ka sa akin. :(

 

Pooch

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Hi Pooch,

 

Well marami kaming break ups, but this time around kasi, medyo mabigat, not of any third party or anything, but because nahirapan sya sa work, nabigla siguro and ayun humahalo pa yung away namin. 

We are talking naman, and ngayon na lumalabas ano naging problema namin, which siguro na spoiled ko rin, hehehehe, hindi ko sya naintindihan gaano kapag na iistress sya...we have different line of work kasi, admin sya, and nasa healthcare ako..now after long talks and support sa kanya, ayun lumalabas lahat... i always say ano nararamdaman ko parin sa kanya, including the sweet letters i wrote for her, well, manhid sya, pero kapag lasing nasasabi nya eventually what she feels. She's 9 years younger than me. Well sa pagkakakilala ko sa dun sa gf / cous ko na yun, matigas talaga  yun, sa ngayon mahirap kasi nga nasa ibang bansa ako, but kung andun siguro ako sa Pilipinas, naayos ko na ito, well somewhat hahahaha.

I am not torturing myself, darating ang time Pooch you will realize that providing love or giving love is way better than having all the hate in the world, I know dinaanan ko yan, and hindi ako naka move on ng todo..ex ko before my gf/cous

I simple am so in love with her, until now ha, that providing hate over what has happen to us, hindi ko kayang gawin...i know she feels it and i know nagpipigil lang yun....who knows baka pag uwi ko this July iba na uli...everytime i go on a topic, dumudulas din sya, and kapag stress yun, ako unang tinatakbuhan, and of course, tumutulong ako in anyway i can, on which right now, she always find time to say thank you, hahahaha, well, ok na sakin yun than nothing at all.

Mother kasi nya ang importante sa  kanya, ayaw nya na saktan mom nya pagkatapos gawin ng father ( my uncle ) nya ang pang aabandona sa kanila, which i encourage kasi namna iisa lang talaga nanay natin lahat.

Pooch by the time you'll come to my age, malalaman mo na lalawak ang lahat, lalo na sa pag iintindi at pag unawa...

I am happy may nakakausap ako, which is katulad ng sakin, sa mga barkada ko kasi negative sila, i dont blame them, kasi hindi nila alam, ang alam lang nila, panandalian kasiyahan lang, which rather insulting on my part, kaya pinagsabihan ko ang mga nakakaalam.

I told my cous/gf, kung magmamahal sya ng iba, sabihin nalang sakin, tatanggapin ko naman...she replied by saying tanggap ko hindi na ako magkakapamilya at asawa, at sa sobrang taas ng standard ko, i dont think may hihigit sayo...yun ang sabi nya ha...

now parang bumabalik sa dati, pero walang reciporcity ng i love you's etc etc...she always wants to know asan ako, ano gawa ko, kung naka kakain na ako, so on and so forth...

pero Pooch, dude, my advise sa inyo ng cous/gf mo....put more foundation in it....kami kaya nakakapag usap pa kami, malalim ang foundation ng na create namin dalawa ng gf/cous ko.....

always give love pare and be understanding, be sensitive, i tell you dude, she will be in your arms forever...

By the way she knows na babaero ako at alam nya kung ginusto ko, gagawin ko, but assurances and all, sa kanya talaga ako naging loyal...so ganito ako..hehehehe

 

 

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I see. :)

Quote

Well marami kaming break ups, but this time around kasi, medyo mabigat, not of any third party or anything, but because nahirapan sya sa work, nabigla siguro and ayun humahalo pa yung away namin. 

Marami kayong breakups, tawagin nating "mini-breakups". Those are the ones na kinaya niyo pareho. I believe lalampasan niyo rin ito.. :) Sabi mo nga, who knows pagbalik mo ng Pinas, diba? I'm glad na hindi tungkol sa third party kasi kung may third party, para sa akin pretty much game-over na yun eh. And nabanggit mo na medyo player ka.. Para sa akin, okey lang naman kung flirt-flirt lang sort of thing na hindi serious and hindi naman cheating per se pero ibang usapan na talaga kapag inescalate mo na talaga na to the point na no turning back na eh, diba, at naging girlfriend mo na talaga or worse eh kapag nabuntis mo na. Eh kung yun ang nature mo pare eh, I believe you know your boundaries naman. :)

Tungkol sa trabaho niya, baka nga nabigla siguro. Pero pahupain mo ng 2-3 weeks. Pag inaway ka, hayaan mo lang na awayin ka. hehe. Kulitin mo lang. I believe na sa totoo lang eh mas kailangan ka niya sa ngayon. diba? So sa admin pala siya -- tingin ko natatambakan siya ng trabaho and masyadong steep ang learning curve niyan. Part-time ko kasi eh sa Admin din kaya I can relate. lol. Nasa Accounting kasi ako, gusto kong kunin yung designation ko (CPA) pero may clerical akong part-time. And stressful nga sa umpisa..pero kalaunan eh magiging repetitive naman na.. and once na naging repetitive na, mas magiging relaxing na trabaho. Ang magagawa mo siguro ngayon eh wag siyang awayin. Kasi nakupo. Lalo na LDR kayo!? Susmaryosep pare. Iiyak yun gabi-gabi lalo na if both of you ended on a bad note. :( I remembered my LDR years with my GF, I never see to it na we ended on a bad note and mag-away kasi ang hirap eh. Apektado lahat. Alam mo yun? Pero mas kilala mo siya, and sabi mo nga, kung nasa Pinas ka lang eh kaya mong I-contain yan. hehe (sabi mo nga eh, "kung nasa Pinas lang ako eh naayos ko na ito, well somewhat" hehe) . In the meanwhile though, di mo pwedeng awayin no. Iintindihin mo talaga at pagpapasensyahan... :)

Kasi tandaan mo, sa nakikita ko ah, she is, what, on her early 30s? Do you think she wants children? Ang pagkakaalam ko kasi, ito yung stage ng point of no return ng sa mga babae eh. I got two sisters and almost papunta na rin sila dito eh. Ang mga pinaguusapan dati na grades/college life at trabaho eh nagiging "marriage", "kids", "engagement", "babies", "family", and stuff like that na. Alam mo yun? And di naman natin masisisi yun kasi 30s ay peak ng child-bearing eh. diba? Pagkatapos ng 30s eh pababa na yan... What do you think?

Nasabi mo kasi yung isang usapan niyo na,

Quote

I told my cous/gf, kung magmamahal sya ng iba, sabihin nalang sakin, tatanggapin ko naman...she replied by saying tanggap ko hindi na ako magkakapamilya at asawa, at sa sobrang taas ng standard ko, i dont think may hihigit sayo...yun ang sabi nya ha...

Kahit 'tanggap' niya yan, natural na iniisip pa rin niya yan no... diba?

 

Quote

I am not torturing myself, darating ang time Pooch you will realize that providing love or giving love is way better than having all the hate in the world, I know dinaanan ko yan, and hindi ako naka move on ng todo..ex ko before my gf/cous

Okay, good. Basta kaya mo. Ang sa akin eh, hindi naman having all the hate kaagad kung hindi kayo magkatuluyan. Pero kung hindi maging kayo, kahit maging platonic na kaibigan kahit nagmahalan kayo in the past. Of course, with 13 years on your belt, that is almost next to impossible -- given that ang huling dinig kong statistics eh 7 years ang average length of marriages (ewan ko lang sa ngayon). So halos doble pa nga kayo. diba? :) Sa side ko naman kasi, first love ko ang pinsan ko eh. I was 17 nun and 15 naman siya. Parehas naming first love isa't-isa. So diyan ako di makakarelate sa iyo....

Quote

I am happy may nakakausap ako, which is katulad ng sakin, sa mga barkada ko kasi negative sila, i dont blame them, kasi hindi nila alam, ang alam lang nila, panandalian kasiyahan lang, which rather insulting on my part, kaya pinagsabihan ko ang mga nakakaalam.

Tsk.

Yeah.. I understand. Yaan mo na yun. ;)
 

Quote

 

pero Pooch, dude, my advise sa inyo ng cous/gf mo....put more foundation in it....kami kaya nakakapag usap pa kami, malalim ang foundation ng na create namin dalawa ng gf/cous ko.....

always give love pare and be understanding, be sensitive, i tell you dude, she will be in your arms forever...

 

Love it!:)

haha. I guess I am on the right track, then. hehe. I definitely agree. Sa ngayon kasi, almost 3 years na kaming nasa the same city. And marami akong natututunan sa kanya araw-araw na hindi ko natutunan sa kanya (and vice versa) throughout the years. Iba talaga ang LDR kesa kapag magkasama. Tanong ko lang brad, anong timeline ng 13 years niyo with respect sa time ninyong together and sa time ninyong magkahiwalay? Sa akin kasi, 2002 naging kami pero 2003 pumunta na ako ng Canada. One year foundation. Pero sumunod family niya dito pero even with that eh hiwalay na probinsya kami. Maraming nangyari. Pero pretty much LDR kami pero not in the sense na isang buong Pacific Ocean ang agwat. But still magkahiwalay. Dumating 2007 and kinailangan nilang bumalik ng Pinas, and dun na siya nakipagbreak before mag 2008. Halfway through ng 2008, bumalik sila ng Canada. Feelings were ignited again pero di pa namin sure. Her family lived in a different province and we were mini-LDR ng 2009-2011. 2011 we have a mutual 'pause' sa relationship naming for two years. 2013 bumalik ulit yun. And by 2014, I moved sa the same city na with her. Now magfo-4 years na kaming same city. We plan na in less than 5 years eh, sabihin na naming sa mga dapat makaalam kung sino mahal namin.. :) Yun ang timeline ko. hehe. Throughout these years, however, yes more foundation nga talaga. Wala akong ibang naging girlfriend because it will compromise the trust. Yung gf ko pa man din eh once na may doubt yun sa utak niya, parang kalawang na kakain sa loob niya eh (if you know what I mean).. So I tried not to give her any doubts at all. So transparent talaga ko. And so I think I am reaping the benefits ng foundations na inilagay ko (namin) from 2002-2014... Ngayong magkasama na kami sa iisang city eh, it's definitely easier. Alam mo yun? Parehong goals sa buhay, parehas ng pananaw. Parehas ng gusto at ayaw. Even the unspoken words ay naiintindihan both.... hehe. :) Pero you know what, and I think you can relate to this as well, even with all those ah -- marami ka pa ring matututunan sa kanya kahit na antagal niyo ng magkasama. :D Sometimes, I find that so amazing and mindblowing. lol

 

Pooch

By the way, kung may tanong ka sa akin, tanong ka lang...hehe. Masayang may Pilipinong kausap dito sa forum eh. hehe.

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Related question:

Sabi niya,

Quote

I told my cous/gf, kung magmamahal sya ng iba, sabihin nalang sakin, tatanggapin ko naman...she replied by saying tanggap ko hindi na ako magkakapamilya at asawa, at sa sobrang taas ng standard ko, i dont think may hihigit sayo...yun ang sabi nya ha...

Bakit naman hindi na siya magkakaasawa? I understand yung 'hindi na ako magkakapamilya' eh. Gusto ba niyang magkaroon in the first place? Kasi yung iba nagkakaanak and so on... Nagagawan naman ng paraan (given na after all the smoke will be cleared and everything ah?). Kung ang worry niya (or ninyo) ay birth defect and so forth, ayon dito sa fact sheet eh hindi ganun ka-significant ang increase (yes may increase pero hindi significant) to the point na siguradong (or almost siguradong) may birth defect ang offspring. Or is it a personal choice na hindi na magkaka-anak? If that's the case, and if both of you think na final na yun, then that's okay... :) Personal choice naman pala eh.

But my other question is about dun sa 'asawa' portion eh. Bakit naman niya naiisip na hindi na siya magkakaasawa? Is she expecting na hindi mo siya pakakasalan? I mean, I know na insofar as the family code of the Philippines is concerned eh talagang hindi pwede. Hanggang 4th consanguity ang voided marriages sa atin eh. And that I understand. Pero my point is that why lose hope? I mean, wala ka bang planong "i-snatch" siya (pardon the term lol) mula sa pamilya niya and sa Pinas and all and live somewhere else where both of you can live together freely? Hindi ba yun ang long term goal ninyo? Kung hindi, I would understand.... I just want to ask.

Or kahit hindi na snatch (kasi parang ang panget naming pakinggan ng snatch), planong umalis sa poder ng magulang niya at kamag-anak and go somewhere to have her life with you? Of course importante ang pamilya and she will still support them (kapatid at magulang) and all ano, pero wala ba siyang nakikitang some sort of "fairy tale future" for both of you? Alam mo yun, yung tipong, she can probably magkatrabaho din sa ibang bansa, for the sake of your relationship? Or if not eh, ikaw, di mo ba gusting pumunta sa isang bansang legal ang cousin marriages and then sponsoran mo siya of some sort to live with you? Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam and I am just rambling. Medyo napakunot kasi ako ng noo doon sa response niya na "tanggap ko hindi na ako magkakapamilya at asawa". Parang ang tunog sa akin eh, surrender na siya and she gave up na sa marriage and family. And now, she cut off even yung relationship na meron siya. This is very hard for her. Alam mo yun?

At any rate, of course, I would understand na marami pa talagang factors ang involved no. Marami pang variables ang dapat iconsider. And hindi magiging madali. Pero ang mere question ko lang eh, yes I know na tanggap na niya but did she (or you or both of you) dreamt that in your relationship? I know na sa ngayon eh, break na kayo and all (although to be honest, ako eh I am quite hopeful pa rin sa inyo.. *fingers crossed* ) pero sumagi ba sa isip ninyo yung 'fairy tale future' na yun especially sa early part ng relationship niyo?

You don't have to answer this btw. :)

 

Pooch

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Pooch,

 

ung user name ko is our anniv...aq ang madalas wala, dumating pa nga sa punto na hindi aq nakauwi ng almost 3 years yet we never had any...my side and her side, pinagmamalaki pa nga nun eh, hahaha, nagkaroon kasi ng problema 2013-2015, anyways, kung parehas kayo lalaban, go, i have always ask my gf/cous sumama sakin pero takot sya, and aminado naman sya...which i cannot do anything sya talaga dapat hahanap ng courage na yun...kaya q dalhin relationship namin, pero kapag wala pa sya lakas ng loob, hayaan na muna, mahirap ang sapilitan kasi...alam mo nama kc ang isipan ng mga pinoy, and dun parin kc orinetation nya...pasensya ka na sa mga abbrev q at mobile na kasi gamit q ngayon hehehe, katamad mag type...

yes we do have plans talaga to have a future and stable life, sobrang takot sya and she does not want to do research even though i urge her...i dont know, ang tagal na namin ha pero talagang wala pa syang lakas ng loob

regarding sa kasal, she does not believe in it...trauma from her parents i guess, but she did mention 'kung hindi tayo ganito matagal na kitang pinikot para pakasalan aq' we both laugh about it, pero may bearing...

alam nya gusto q sya pakasalan, although i do not believe in marriage din kc...i have one failed marriage and she knows my ex and my son...

but as the years go by, pumasok na talaga sa isipan q, sige tara na, eh ayaw nya parin, hahaha considering the fact na im almost 40 and she is almost 30...hahahaaha

if it was easy why not di ba? i tried nung nasa western country aq, but, they need local marriage contract..so in short mahirap talaga...i was willing to go str8 sa dad nya at dad q to put and end to all of these and provide a good future for us, pero ayaw nya....so, i guess she needs a good talking...by someone else hindi aq....who is also just like us....someone who understand all the fears and eventually overcame it all

wala naman ako katanungan, i am more than happy na may nakakausap aq na katulad natin, pero hindi na active ata ung iba, i pray na ok relationship nila...

thanks sa fingers crossed dude...kapit bahay lang kita aayain kita ng inuman...hahahahaha

kami we strated super close talaga, and one thing led to another...at alam mo sino nagsabi na kami nalang? sya hindi ako, kasi nagrarationalize aq nun eh, at wala aq alam...hahahahaha...nagkataon lang na stubborn at head strong aq kaya sige go narin aq...ung mga kapatid nya boto sakin at nagpapasalamat na tapat aq sa ate nila...so ayun....

i wish all ur plans will push tro dude, i really do, because if this fate is not meant to be, then why did it let us meet our gf/cous...and let it progress for long...there's a reason, and that reason will only be realized if both are willing to go the distance...sa part ko lang i will be patiently waiting for her...that is how i love her...hahahaha, nakakabaliw pero talagang mahal q sya ng todo...hope u feel the same with ur gf

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20 hours ago, 9/9/2004 said:
Quote

 

Pooch,

ung user name ko is our anniv...aq ang madalas wala, dumating pa nga sa punto na hindi aq nakauwi ng almost 3 years yet we never had any...my side and her side, pinagmamalaki pa nga nun eh, hahaha, nagkaroon kasi ng problema 2013-2015, anyways, kung parehas kayo lalaban, go,

 

As long as na parehas kayong lalaban go. I like that. :D Ang kaso eh pano pag ang isa ay sumuko? :(

Quote

 


i have always ask my gf/cous sumama sakin pero takot sya, and aminado naman sya...which i cannot do anything sya talaga dapat hahanap ng courage na yun...kaya q dalhin relationship namin, pero kapag wala pa sya lakas ng loob, hayaan na muna, mahirap ang sapilitan kasi...alam mo nama kc ang isipan ng mga pinoy, and dun parin kc orinetation nya...pasensya ka na sa mga abbrev q at mobile na kasi gamit q ngayon hehehe, katamad mag type...

 

I see. Kung ganun, edi antayin mo na nga lang talaga siguro siya kung kelan siya makahanap ng tapang, if ever na dumating. Either which, nothing is lost. As long as na both of you will be happy. Bakit naman siya natatakot na mangibang-bansa? Ang tanging naiisip ko lang na dahilan ay syempre I assume na siya ang sumusuporta sa pamilya niya, diba? (Siguro panganay siya and/or bread winner? I dunno..) But then if other reason gaya ng natatakot lang, siguro nga antayin natin makakuha siya ng lakas ng loob.

Quote

yes we do have plans talaga to have a future and stable life, sobrang takot sya and she does not want to do research even though i urge her...i dont know, ang tagal na namin ha pero talagang wala pa syang lakas ng loob

Kung ayaw niya ng research, dahil siguro sa social pressure and everything. Natatakot siyang makumpirma na mali nga ang relasyon ninyo dahil sa udyok ng nasa paligid -- which is supposed to be not the case. Yung gf ko naman, ang attitude niya eh, "O sige, kung anong sinabi mo, yun na yun." Pretty much pinagkakatiwalaan niya ako ng buo. So ako ang nagresearch and do my part. Sa akin nakasabit lahat.

Quote

 

regarding sa kasal, she does not believe in it...trauma from her parents i guess, but she did mention 'kung hindi tayo ganito matagal na kitang pinikot para pakasalan aq' we both laugh about it, pero may bearing...

 

hahahaha!

napatawa mo ko dun brad! :D naku delikado mapikot. lol.

Pero seriously though, nabanggit ko naman kasi yung kasal kasi sabi mo sa first post mo,

Quote

she told me she wanted to post our pictures but could not because of what society might think of us, she wanted to shout out to the world that i am hers and now she suddenly gave up on us...we are from an Asian country where 1st are illegal, but some couples i know were married because of pregnancy ( 1st cous also )

which sounds to me na syempre gusto niyang sabihin sa buong mundo na nagmamahalan kayo (kind of like what marriage is, alam mo yun?) But then yeah, I understand...

Quote

 

alam nya gusto q sya pakasalan, although i do not believe in marriage din kc...i have one failed marriage and she knows my ex and my son...

but as the years go by, pumasok na talaga sa isipan q, sige tara na, eh ayaw nya parin, hahaha considering the fact na im almost 40 and she is almost 30...hahahaaha

if it was easy why not di ba? i tried nung nasa western country aq, but, they need local marriage contract..so in short mahirap talaga...i was willing to go str8 sa dad nya at dad q to put and end to all of these and provide a good future for us, pero ayaw nya....so, i guess she needs a good talking...by someone else hindi aq....who is also just like us....someone who understand all the fears and eventually overcame it all

 

I see..

I'm sorry sa ex mo. Musta naman yung anak mo? I hope ikaw ang may hawak....

Tungkol sa gf-cousin mo, antayin na lang natin siya kung ganun.. Kung kailan siya magiging handa as soon as na magkabalikan kayo.

Quote

 

wala naman ako katanungan, i am more than happy na may nakakausap aq na katulad natin, pero hindi na active ata ung iba, i pray na ok relationship nila...

thanks sa fingers crossed dude...kapit bahay lang kita aayain kita ng inuman...hahahahaha

 

hahaha! Pag nagawi ka rito, sagot ko. lol :D

Quote

 

kami we strated super close talaga, and one thing led to another...at alam mo sino nagsabi na kami nalang? sya hindi ako, kasi nagrarationalize aq nun eh, at wala aq alam...hahahahaha...nagkataon lang na stubborn at head strong aq kaya sige go narin aq...ung mga kapatid nya boto sakin at nagpapasalamat na tapat aq sa ate nila...so ayun....

 

Oh talaga ah? Sinabi niya yun?! Pano nangyari? Kwento mo naman. :D

Natawa ako dun sa sinabi mong, "at wala akong alam. hahahahaha" . Sakit ng tiyan ko kakatawa. Tayong mga lalake kasi, kahit lahat alam natin, lagi tayong walang alam! :D bwahahaha!

Quote

i wish all ur plans will push tro dude, i really do, because if this fate is not meant to be, then why did it let us meet our gf/cous...and let it progress for long...there's a reason, and that reason will only be realized if both are willing to go the distance...sa part ko lang i will be patiently waiting for her...that is how i love her...hahahaha, nakakabaliw pero talagang mahal q sya ng todo...hope u feel the same with ur gf

Korek. Patience lang talaga. diba? nakakabaliw. Kagabi nga lang eh, nanonood kami ng paborito naming palabas sa Netflix. It just so good to be sa company ng mahal mo. Alam mo yun? Yes, hindi pa tamang panahon for us pero darating din ang tamang panahon kasi we are both willing to go the distance. :)

 

Pooch

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well nag usap kami uli, so the magic words were thank you, naapreciate nya lahat ng ginagawa ko and mahal nya parin ako....thanks sa crossed fingers dude, did me good...now my aim is to have her courage na sumama na sakin which is very very difficult hahahaha, ang hirap....

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4 hours ago, 9/9/2004 said:

well nag usap kami uli, so the magic words were thank you, naapreciate nya lahat ng ginagawa ko and mahal nya parin ako....thanks sa crossed fingers dude, did me good...now my aim is to have her courage na sumama na sakin which is very very difficult hahahaha, ang hirap....

Good to know.. :) 

Namimiss ka lang nun! :) 

 

Pooch

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