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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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We need a few more details:  such as your ages and whether either of you is involved in another relationship.  As Emma says, it is normal to have feelings for a cousin, but to give you good advice, we need to know a little bit more.

HUGS

Nat

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Ok... so we are both in our thirties and neither one of us in is a relationship. I don't know what to do. I have tried ignoring these feelings but that doesn't work.  

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Completely normal to have feelings for your cousin.

Since you are both in your thirties and unattached then I would ask what do you want to do?

If you think he returns the feelings and would like to pursue a relationship with him then talk it out, see if your on the same page. Build your friendship, take things slow.

We can only give you as much advice from the information you provide. Let us know a little more about your situation so we can help you better.

 

 

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just to clear things up, I am a guy and she is a girl. We spend a lot of time with each other and we both enjoy each other's company. Nobody knows her better than I do and vice versa. When we go places together its like we are a couple. all i want to do is tell her how i feel about her but i dont want to ruin what we have and i dont want things to get awkward between us. should i tell her or keep it to myself. 

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@crazyformycuz My mistake to assume you as a girl, I've edited it. And that's a really tricky situation you're in. Give her some hints maybe before you tell her about your feelings for her? See how she reacts to the hints and then tell her.

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Since you are both "old" enough, no current relationships and you want to test the waters with her, try the trusted and tried line...

"If you weren't my cousin I would like to..."  date you or whatever fits the situation, your wording.

OR

" You possess the qualities I find attractive in a girlfriend...."

 

Just remember you said IF and are just stating an observation, in case she gets the "eww" factor or in your mind is

a negative response. Give her time to digest it, no pressure. If you should get a positive response or answer then you

can start giving her information from this site or maybe bring her here.  Use whatever may be helpful and however it might

fit your situation.

 

Best wisher on your journey!

 

 

 

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Sorry for the mistake, interesting that we both assumed you were a female. 

Completely agree with Romalee.

You know her better than us so if you guys are really close then the innocent "if you weren't my cousin" line definitely gives you an out without making everything super awkward.

Wishing you all the best :)

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Absolutely tell her how you feel. There's nothing wrong about it if you ask me. It's not like you're both under 18, or one of you is married. Forget that she's your cousin for a minute and go about it as you would a non-cousin. It's just a word, it's not like you're siblings. You're an adult, she's an adult, it's nobody else's business who you're attracted to and what you do with that, or what you do with her. Best of luck.

Edited by Rockerfella

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Of course you are not. Love stories between cousins are not for all of us, but when they occur, they are pretty natural, nothing to feel guilty/shame about. However, such stories are worthy only when there is deep love. Give yourself sometime to be 100% sure about your feelings and focus on the woman/person aspect of the story, not the cousin one. If you already feel ready for the next step but you are afraid of possible lack of mutuality, just use the "what if scénario" and see how it works. If you catch any positive signs, just go ahead. Good luck. 

 

PS: What if scénario is something like «what if we weren't cousins» and so on.

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