Jump to content
Emma_1

Do guys express their feelings during sex?

Recommended Posts

My cousin isn't much expressive when it comes to his feelings. I can assume he likes me but not sure.
Talking about sex with him, it's very hot and passionate. We would always stare into each other's eyes the whole time we make love. He loves to pleasure me without asking for it in return and feels happy seeing me orgasm. 
Even though I did an embarrassing thing while we were doing it, he still didn't find it bad. He just took me in his arms, kissed me and told me it's alright. One night when we were having sex he got on top of me holding me tightly in his arms and groaning sexily as I wrapped my arms and legs around him and pulled him close, there was an urgency in him where we were in that position. I once asked him why he wanted me that much that he couldn't think of any other girls. He replied "that's because it's you, silly". 

The sex tells me his feelings for me runs deeper. What do you think?

Edited by Emma_1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i think you should keep in mind that this site is open to people of all ages, and you could have asked the question without spelling it out. there are kids that come here. rather than remove the topic, i'm going to ask you to edit the heck out of it.

but to answer your question, you're probably reading way too much into it. he's enjoying the sex. there's no commitment to it, and most likely the passion and intensity is just simply that... passion and intensity. that doesn't mean the same as love.

ya gotta realize, women are different. to us, sex is a deeper kind of connection. it's part of our genetic makeup. WE have more of a tendency to equate love with sex, or at least have an innate desire for sex to equal love, because on some instinctive level, we're trying to create and protect our family. we want security. and for us, the hotter and more intense the sex is, the deeper we want that connection to be more tangible, more permanent. men aren't like that. not that they can't feel love for someone they have sex with, because they can... but it's not part of their psychological programming. to them, the intensity is primarily a physical response. it will keep them coming back for more, until the intensity starts to fade. and it WILL fade. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would say that regardless of gender, passion during sex does not necessarily mean anything outside of the bedroom. However, you said in your thread

that your cousin told you he imagines a future with you. I would say that's about the best evidence you're going to get that he cares about you.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@MissPrice

I think I agree with you because I see care in his eyes. 

I work at his restaurant as his assistant. I told him I'm quitting the job a few days ago because I was not finding myself efficient enough for the job. He got pissed and stopped talking.
I met him next day when I came to visit his mum. Was about to leave his house and was saying him good night when I saw an expression on his face. He stared at me for a second or two giving me a hurt/sad look and said "yeah, good night."
I was quite baffled by that look because his eyes were like telling me something. Never saw that look on his face before. His stare that lasted for a second or two was so deep, I can't even explain it properly. His face and his stare reappear in my mind whenever I think of him. 
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lady C gave you some good advice.  I was once in a relationship where the sex was shabam and for a while I mistook that intensity for love and commitment.  Believe me, commitment and great sex are not one in the same. Stop romanticizing the relationship.  You need a lot more to build on than good sex and a caring look in his eyes

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Similar Content

    • By MadMax007
      Hello all, thanks for stopping by. First off, thanks for all the great advice, stories, and posts on here, and special thanks to the creators and admins. This has been bugging me for a while, and I was so glad to discover this place, I really felt welcomed and moved by some of these stories, but most of all, hopeful. I truthfully am a forum noob, and have never really posted anything on a public board before, much less this topic. The reason I started this topic is because most of the threads I came across seemed geared to very young people, and while other posts did offer some insight, I decided to try my luck here, hoping for a more custom tailored response, respectably. 
      Straight to the goods then. I'm 'Andy' and soon to be 35, she's ‘Cindy’, in her 40s, and we are both single and 1st cousins. I have had a crush on her as far back as I can remember, our families were close when we were kids, and often spent weekends together. Because of our age gap at the time, her being a rebel teen who idolized Madonna and me with my Transformers and GI Joes, we were not very close. We hung out like average cousins, nothing special. Over the years she was always close to my thoughts, plus we stayed in touch on social media, but again noting special. Fast forward a little over two decades, during which we would occasionally see each other at large family gatherings, but no major contact beyond that. Next time, it was special, it felt different. Recently, for an outdoor family reunion, it just so happened that we were seated together and we practically spent the whole time chatting exclusively. I really love to make her laugh and I was doing just that, and so was she. Every now and then I'd get from her, what was probably a wholly innocent gesture, an arm touch and smile. I still refuse to read too much into this, this is uncharted waters and I know better than to treat it like the average crush. At one point during the party, a relative approached us and exclaimed to my cousin Cindy, "oh my, I thought this man was your boyfriend!" Our mutual relative was a little surprised when she realized it was me, but did not make a big deal or read too much into it. This made me back off, obviously my body language or a combination of ours both suggested we were a couple to anyone who did not know better. Cindy's reaction was amazing though, smiles and blush galore, she didn't even make an "Eww face" at the remark. Anyway, since then we have been texting occasionally, every other day, very short conversations because I know she is busy and a single mother. I remember one text she wrote, "I miss you." We exchange our problems and offer advice. On more than one occasion she mentioned how she just wants to be with a nice guy who accepts her, and how hard it is for her to find someone, I responded truthfully, that I'm pretty much in the same situation, looking for "Miss Right" and all that. We even spoke on the phone briefly, this is where it escalates a tiny bit.
      Here is where it gets good, but really scary for me. This Saturday we have a date, for lack of a better word, or more accurately dinner and a movie. Yup, I went for it and she said yes! Holy holy crap! What do I do? I kind of have the evening planned, dinner at a nice restaurant, but I'm hoping to sub the movie with something romantic, like somewhere with a nice view of the city. I really just want to talk with her and spend time alone, and gauge her feelings a bit more. Anyway, I am out of my element here. I'm hoping someone reading this has been in a similar position. I am totally patient and would rather something happen organically on her end, than me trying to force it and be selfish. I would love tips for our date though, I will be myself of course, but I’m wondering if there’s little things I could say or do to hint at my romantic interest in her. I'm kind of nervous and don't want to make a fool of myself. 
      I have strong feelings for Cindy. She's amazing in terms of her fortitude, strength, and outlook on life. She is beautiful inside and out, she makes me laugh, and is always on my mind lately. A part of me believes we don't choose who we fall in love with, and it's not often a girl makes me feel this way. There's definitely some magic there, I just can't tell if its of the romantic kind or not. 
      Any advice from people who have been in similar situations, and my age group would be preferred, but all thoughts are greatly appreciated. Thank you kindly in advance!
       
      Andy
    • By Nokia
      So my first cousin and I didn't grow up together but over the years we've built a relationship through letters he's in prison right now I've always felt like he started with me but I've never really been sure. He would ask me to send him pictures before he went to prison via cell phone, he was married then so I didn't think much of it I just figured because we hadn't seen each other in a while that he wanted to have a picture of me. I didn't feel the same way at first but I flirted with the idea because of the way that he made me feel I didn't feel like anything was wrong with it I honestly and I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of thinking of him sexually. I know for a fact that our family would not approve but lately he's been writing me letters and he always calls me gorgeous and he always tells me I'm beautiful and he wrote me in my last letter about the way my shirt showed my physique and that it was enticing. I don't want to confuse him being incarcerated with him having feeling because I know sometimes people say anything behind bars especially men who haven't seen women in a while but I can say that I felt him flirting with me before this the feelings have just seem to get deeper since we've been writing each other more. I want to express myself because it's killing me to know that someone that I have these feelings for I might not be able to be with but if I feel like he feels the same I wouldn't have a problem expressing myself I'm just not sure so I'm asking in regards to what I should do on my end with my feelings in the situation. I genuinely love him so even if he was repulsed with the idea I wouldn't just leave his side while he's going through this part of his life I genuinely was helping because I wanted to help a family member and I didn't expect to feel the way that I do. It feels impossible that I'm the only one that has these feelings and it's not perverted. I just understand him and I know he understands me please help me
    • By anongirl
      I think most of you know how it starts, you haven't seen this cousin since you were kids and now as adults you find that there's something there that wasn't before.
      You tried everything you could to stop the way you felt but you couldn't and you found yourself falling in love with the one person that everyone would eventually say you couldn't be with, and I think you've fallen into the same predicament I have.
      I'm so in love with my cousin. Being with him just feels normal like it's meant to be. It doesn't feel wrong yet I feel conflicted when I'm around family members who found out and make me question every part of me that tells me I want to be with him. There are the people who accept it in my family but unfortunately the ones closest to me don't and it hurts so much. They refuse to understand that I love this man and that it's my decision. They make me feel like it's not my decision at all. 
      I know in my heart that I love him. I think it's the purest thing i've ever felt for someone in my life. My love for him doesn't bring harm to anybody so I guess I find it hard to understand why people must treat you differently just because of the person you love. 
      I live in Australia where it is legal to marry your cousin, but to show your love for your cousin is so taboo. I'm so scared of rejection from my friends here that I keep it a secret and I can't even tell people I have a boyfriend for fear that they'll ask the question how did you meet? 
      I just find it so heart breaking that people have to go through this because they love a person.
       
    • By ThreeAM
      Hi guys, I'm new to all this cousin stuff. Im from the UK so im well aware of the legal issues on cousins.
      To cut a story short, ive always had a hunch that my cousin has liked me since we were young, but these past 4 years i think that shes been dropping hints that she likes me. Im 23 and shes 18, i know thats quite an age gap but the thing is, she is exactly like me when i was that age. We often acknowledge our similarities and we are both always a little shocked at how much we are the same. I should cringe at this but ive never really felt a real connection with anyone until recently. Ive had many girlfriends, but there was never a fulfilling feeling of being with them. but anyway ill cut to the story.
      On odd occasions my cousin will ask me to go out and i will always say yes, but if i cant i will always rearrange to see her. When we first starting hanging out she would want me to tickle her arms, so basically she was very touchy feely with me. Then a year passed and she got a boyfriend which i was totally fine with but then they split up and we started hanging out abit more, she seemed more shy around me and was alot less touchy feely. Eventually she got another boyfriend and hes a really cool guy we get on,  earlier this year she asked me to go round to her house for a massage and she asked to do a full body massage on me, i said no because i didnt want to feel awkward so i ended up just going with a back massage. she was wonderful at it she is amazing at massaging, but i couldnt help but feel a little aroused by it. so anyway i just put that to the back of my head and thought nothing of it because shes my cousin right? Anyway, when we go out as a family to a meal or something, i always catch her looking at me with such a beautiful grin after shes told a joke, even if im sat doing nothing while everyone is talking, i look over at her to catch her staring at me, we lock eyes and oh man does my heart race. It feels like we are the only people in the room. But this week we went to town and we got drunk, while we was out she was telling me that she gets more energy when there's more people and i understand that, so she invited one of her lad mates out. Before he arrived, baring in mind that she has a bf, she was telling me how nice and hot he was, which is what you do at 18 haha. I was looking forward to meeting him, we got on and he mentioned that he wanted a smoke. so i said we could go back to mine because my parents were on holiday and she was really up for that. so this lead me to think that she wanted to get with her friend. 
      When we arrived at mine we had a smoke, watched a few films and just generally had a good night then i said i was going to go to bed. as i was going up she asked me for a t-shirt to wear to bed, i was drunk and i took mine off and just chucked it at her as a joke. She laughed and said thanks, so she went off to get undressed and put my tshirt on. when i was in bed she messaged me and asked where i was sleeping, i said in my room and laughed. then we carried on talking but i cant remember what about, but i remember her saying "Let me have a nap first". at this point i was so tired i just fell asleep. eventually i woke up at 3 and could not get back to sleep, so i got up brushed my teeth and went to the living room. she came downstairs curiously in my tshirt so i presumed she slept in it and i asked her if she had done the deed with her friend. she laughed and said no as if it was gross. i was abit confused by this, but then it hit me. Was she downstairs with me at 3AM to finally admit to what she was feeling? I went so quiet i didnt know what to do and i felt a sense of tension between us, she said she was going upstairs to put her phone on charge and i told her to come back after. She did come back but she only sat with me for about 10 mins before going to wake her friend up so we could all sit downstairs together. anyway this is where it gets confusing, i try to message her and she will talk to me for a short while but its always a short while, i dont know if she feels awkward with me, honestly im so lost.
      I have no idea what im feeling, what shes feeling i just need your guys opinions on the matter. are these obvious signs shes giving me or am i just getting the wrong end of the stick?
      If you need more info just ask :).
      Cheers Guys.
    • By Bold
      Ok so I’m in love with my cousin, let the story begin, I’m a 17yr old man and my cousin is also 17. Up until recently I hadn’t seen her for 10+ years due to family complications and distance. But recently we had a family reunion and we hit it off so well that I flew down to California with her for a week.
      Over this week I started to see some signs that maybe she was starting to catch feelings. She hugs me a lot and at one point I was semi mad at her and she was basically non stop hugging me begging me not to be mad. Another sign I saw was during movies, when she was cold we snuggled and when we watched a scary movie we did the same. One night we were taking and she pointed out how my lips were shaped and I personally have never heard of someone just observing another lips unless they wanted something to happen.
      Now that I’m back from the trip we were texting and I was sending some more flirtatious messages and all of a sudden she confronts me about the texts saying that she felt uncomfortable because we were family and so I told her I didn’t mean it like that to not seem “creepy” I guess. I don’t know if she changed her mind or just felt wrong about it so she backed off but I don’t know what it all means. It all seemed to line up in person but none of it does over text. So what should I do? I don’t want her to find someone else before I can speak my mind, but I also don’t want to ruin the relationship if she’s doesn’t feel the same. So how do I go about telling her?
×