Hello, my name is J. I’m 19/Male and from the terrible state of Texas. This is my first time posting here and this post is definitely a rant but any guidance and support given is greatly appreciated.
This is the story of me and A.
i would like to disclaim to everyone here that despite A being a minor, me and A have not had any sexual relations and I am aware of the rules on the site and the laws of my state.
It’s been 8 months since we’ve started this. She is 15 and I am 19 years old. We grew up together and despite us being each other’s first kid crush, we never thought much of each other until last June. That’s when everything changed. Another cousin and I were spending the week with A and her brother. We were friendly and although it was obvious we could both feel physical chemistry, we didn’t want to entertain those thoughts.
We started talking throughout the week and me and A figured we connect perfectly. We would stay up late at night in the living room whispering to each other, always talking. We’d talk until we crashed every night near each other in adjacent couches until one night. One night, we got more personal. We both brought up our history of depression and suicidal thoughts and attempts and through that tragedy, I felt our hearts connect. This wasn’t just infatuation. I have loved and cared for her my entire life but at that moment we felt like our souls become one. She was on the verge of tears, and something in me reacted without my brain telling me. I grabbed her and I hugged her and I held her tight to comfort her. I expected her to eventually pull away but she didn’t. The hug eventually turned into a snuggle and we laid down in each other’s arms on that couch. We never wanted it to end so we forced ourselves to stay awake all night, cuddled in each other’s arms. I felt the need to kiss her (and so did she later in admission) but I refrained from doing so. Her mom woke her up that morning and scolded her for falling asleep with a boy.
We began to text nonstop. In July I finally admitted my feelings to her and she reciprocated. The first week together felt weird and unsettling, mainly because we were concerned with us being related (it’s complicated but we’re slightly less than first cousins as we only share one grandparent but her grandparent I don’t share was the cousin of my grandmother. Yes, my family’s history from the early 1900s contained a lot of white trash). After some research, that feeling quickly went away and we began communicating through video chat online nonstop. This persisted until November. During that time, we fell in love and I fell for her. We may be young, but we’ve approached our relationship very in a very honest and mature manner that would make my own parents in their 30 year marriage jealous. We agree to be honest even if it hurts and we talk everything out before it can be manifested into resentment and our only ever fight occurred when she was suicidal. In recent months we’ve both worked together to carry each other out from our holes and all suicidal thoughts have subsided and we are incredibly happy together.
Never have I ever met such a loving, patient, and understanding woman. I don’t believe in fate but I believe we were made for each other. The words I put on this screen cannot help you fathom how much I love and respect her. We are 100% compatible and it pains me what the situation has turned into.
In late November I had a job housesitting for a week and I brought A and her brother. Her brother is one of my childhood best friends and I had placed more trust in him than I should have. Every time he turned his head or left the room, we would be affectionate to each other. We thought he caught us several times but he didn’t. He was totally oblivious but we didn’t know that. We agreed together it would be best to be open with him before he told anyone. We expected him to be more open about it but he reacted very negatively. We eventually talked him down and he seemed fine with it until the next day he gave an even worse reaction and gave us an ultimatum. Either we break up and never mention it, or he tell her parents the truth. I told him to go to hell at first. Eventually I lied and said we agreed to break up and never mention it again. All seemed well again until he told his parents later that week.
Our daily video chats? Gone. Her allowed to have her door open? Gone. Despite this, we made a promise to each other that no matter what happened, that we intended to spend our lives together and that I would someday be the father of her children when the time was right. We made it through the parent’s initial shock and reaction. She was grounded for a week with limited use on electronics. Her parents also shamed her and called her sick. My parents were different. My dad is very non-confrontational and to this day, has never talked to me about it. However, my mother is the most understanding and loving woman I have ever met. She had friends who were cousins and the idea doesn’t particularly bother her. I confessed everything to her and in my lowest hour, she comforted me and brought me back up. She doesn’t necessarily support the match but only because my love for A is illegal in the state of Texas and even can land you in jail. (Seriously, to hell with Texas!) my mother just doesn’t want to see her son in jail. (Also the age of consent in Texas must be of 3 years difference in age or less and I’m 4 years older).
Since this time, we sneak in texts together throughout the day and it turned into a mostly online relationship experience. We only grew stronger together. However, I wouldn’t be here if things didn’t go as planned. Her parents purposely keep her active and busy and along with constant paranoia, we have texted less and less. It’s not fair for her as her family is incredibly overbearing and restrictive on her life to make sure she has no time to text me while my family remained just as liberal with their concern as before they found out. Despite talking much less, our feelings toward each other haven’t changed but the past few weeks have hurt a lot. My natural insecurities from a past abusive relationship get the better of me sometimes and I need reassurance of our stability which in effect will scare her about our stability. It began to give her anxiety around me which didn’t help encourage her to try and text whenever she could along with her parents keeping her busy and constant paranoia.
Last night, I could no longer bear to sit in silence as I was unsure what our relationship became. I texted her and confronted her about where we are right now. We communicated and now it’s established that technically we are still together but due to time constraints we have given each other time to let ourselves grow but assuring each other that we both have exclusive interest in each other and that this brake in our relationship is temporary and we will resume everything in time. I wholeheartedly believe A means what she says but this crippling thought in the back of my mind warns me that she may lose interest and there’s nothing I can do.
The simple reality is that I am in love with this woman and this brake was only one sided because I still have the ability to talk to her whenever but she doesn’t. I love her and I’m more than willing to wait and do what it takes in steps to make this work. I have never felt so completed, so happy, and so fulfilled by the companionship of someone. She is truly my better half and even if somehow our relationship didn’t work and one of us moved on and had a family with someone else, I would never feel satisfied without her. There is no other room in my heart for anyone else. I love A and I plan on spending my life with her. Maybe we’re young and we haven’t fully found ourselves but I am confident we will grow together.
TL;DR: Young couple, caught, time constraints have put us on hold, my separation anxiety sucks, and I’m willing to wait.
I’d love to hear all of your thoughts and advice!
Thank you so much for taking this much time to read my story and possibly give your two cents. It’s means so much to be able to express this to someone. I wish all of you luck!
Im very close with my second cousin and we spend alot of time together. I've had feelings for her for few years now, i thought it would go away, thought it was just a physical attraction because she IS beautiful. But as time went on the feelings stayed and grew.
She is extremely nice to me, and we talk alot, she always tells me to come back the next day and come hang out. She even has a nick name for me. Idk if she has any where near the same feelings, i wish i knew.
I dont know what to do, on one hand i deeply love her and long to hold her and kiss her she is beautiful but on the other i dont want to ruin what we got and make things weird between us.
Is it ok for second cousins to be intimate ? How do i even go about seeing if she feels the same way and if she does how would i convince her its ok?
Idk where to even start
Sorry for the long description but I need some advice.
My maternal first cousin recently had a bad separation. His ex cheated on him and broke his trust. Although he told me he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore I think he hasn't moved on completely yet. The reason I say this because I've accidentally found her picture in his wallet.
Anyway, so I met my cousin after 7 years. We had a thing 7 years back but that didn't last for some reason. Now, that I met him again the spark started to return. We both are deeply attracted to each other and sexual tension is massive. As we didn't want to be in a relationship for a reason we agreed to be fwb.
I lost my virginity to him and the sex was freaking awesome. He just LOVED sex with me. The sex had always been passionate and hot. He's obsessed with me. He had always wanted to make love to me. He even told me I turn him on like he never thought was possible and to him I was irresistible. He even said he never felt this chemistry with anyone else. I had given him massive turn offs at times yet it didn't stop him from wanting me. Not to mention he genuinely cared a lot about me. He loved taking me out and spending time with me. Used to get offended if I didn't join him while eating. And felt twinge of jealousy if I talked to other guys.
I ended the fwb relationship with him for a reason and told him. He was deeply hurt, I could see a certain pain in his eyes. He reluctantly agreed without wanting to know the reason. And from that day he has become aloof and distant. He still cares about me and talks to me but he's toned down.
Is it how fwb supposed to feel when the relationship is over? Why is my cousin behaving like this? He's a very experienced man and compared to him I am a novice who can't even give a proper bj, what's so sexy about me that used to turn him on like crazy?
on my previous topic i told what had happened between me any my cousin
I'm 21 yr old male shes 19 yr old (my mothers younger sister's daughter) we had a spark between us for many years, we will always use physical contact to test our boundaries you know the usual accidental boob touch and butt squeeze/slapping , 2 months ago i visited her and we talked to a bit before leaving i asked for a hug and she hugged me the words "I love you" slipped out of my mouth there was a awkward silence for a moment, i panicked and wanted to do something to end the silence and suddenly slapped her butt(both sides), she told me not to touch her and i replied that if she didn't like it, she didn't answer that and again i asked that we used to touch each other all the time, she replied "that was when we were younger" (we used to do this kind of stuff on a monthly basis don't know what she meant by that) after that I wanted to change the topic and asked her to come to my house anytime she wanted,she replied "after 10 days i will because of work", after that on the same day i called her to see if she is still annoyed with me she talked normally, 4 days after that i found out she had blocked me on all social media, i thought she wanted time to process the things that happened and i gave her some space and time to time without wanting to disturbing her (its been 2 months since this happened),10 days ago i downloaded a random chat app and found she was in it, but i didn't want to disturb or annoy her further so i kept quite,4 days ago i found out that she also blocked me on that app too.
what if she never wants to talk to me again? or she told her parents about what had happened?
i really love her and I am sure that she has feelings for me as well.....I don't know what happened this time
I really want to get back to her ,things between us are on and off most of the time but she always gets back but this time its taking too long I'm worried she might never want to be with me again
one of my older cousin (female) married her cousin (her father's older sister's son) if was months ago (our family circle accepts marriage's like this) that was the time when things started getting more serious between me and her but there is a problem our family circle accepts cross cousin relationships but sadly parallel cousin relationships are a taboo
we never really talked about our relationship or marriage we only used to do some physical contact stuff to each other (a lot!), i think i scared her off by telling that i love her or it could be the butt slapping thing i really don't know
i haven't tried calling her out of fear
I'm arranging a get together with all the cousins and i really want her to come so i can talk with her (don't know how to invite her need any advice or help with on the invite plan)
I'm hoping that being with all the other cousins will ease her and make her more comfortable to talk with me
this is my plan so far (feel free to tell me if there is anything wrong with this idea or how to execute this plan) i really need all the help i can get, I don't want to lose her
i know most of you guys went through some kindof problems with your cousins before having a relationship with them so you know or kindof relate to what I'm going through right now please please try to help
I know this is a long one just bare with me and please try to help
I'm 21 yr old male and my cousin she's 19 yrs old (my mothers younger sister's daughter), my feelings towards her started when i was in university, she used to hang out in my house most of the time and we usually talk about random things back then,
recently some time ago things started to get a little bit physical you know showing cleavage(most of the time), she touches me in playful ways,and if i touch her "accidentally" by her chest or butt she never says anything and behaves like nothing had happened (for example: once we all the cousins had a outing to celebrate one of them getting married after that the party was over and it was getting late most of the rids we came in already left there was only one car after we crammed inside there was no space left for her in the car and one of my cousins(female ,who knows something is going on between us) told her to sit on my lap, she refused at first after a minute or two she came in and sat on my lap half of her butt was on my stomach like she had no room to fit (but it was a decently spaced car with more room to spare) and she told not to touch her anywhere or laugh on the way, I wanted to tease her and laughed for a minute and she did not take it seriously and told me to stop , I wanted to annoy her more and placed my hand on her thigh she did not say anything i grabbed it tightly but no reaction she was quite and she started to move my hand because she thought someone might see and after that my place came I got out of the car and she gave me a look like it was not angry nor happy(hard to tell), this all happened on Christmas holidays and next day she talked to like nothing had happened and after that we did not get a chance to meet because of our work,
2 months ago i contacted her and we decided to meet in her house after i went there her mother was also there we talked and had lunch together after that her mother went to sleep, we both decided to watch a movie and i sat close to her she did not say anything as usual after a while we decided to talk about relationships, and after some time i decided to leave and i asked for a hug i don't know what came over me and i told that i love her she did not say anything as if she didn't hear it at all and before going i slapped her in the butt (just for a tease and to make her react) she told me that" we should be doing this you should not touch me", i replied that "we used to touch all the time" after a moment of silence she told "that was when we were younger but not now", i said okay fine and casually changed the topic that she can sometimes hangout in my house she said okay and will come after 10 days or so because she had some work and i left after that and later that evening i called her and casually asked what she was doing she told that she was hanging out with her friends and she will meet up later, BUT after that(4 days time ) she blocked me on all social media that we are connected to, i thought i did something bad and decided not to call or bother her and give her space to think,
during this two long months i wanted to see her and talk to her but i decided to wait and 10 or 15 days ago i randomly downloaded a social media app and she was in it but i decided not to talk and 2 days ago i found out that she also blocked me on that app too. i seriously don't know that to do and how to approach her again
things are playing in my mind like
what if she tells both our parents and relatives what had happened
what if she hates me and is not going to talk to me again
my birthday is coming up and i invited all my cousins but don't know how to talk to her and make her come to the event so i can have a proper conversation with her
can some one give advice on what to do? please i really love her..