By Jordan Colbert
Our story started roughly 2 years ago when my cousin confessed she had feelings for me. At the time she said this is wrong and we should not be doing this. But we continued developing our relationship anyway. We planned of our lives together after marriage, babies, places to visit, things to do and so on. We lived a happy life. Now after two years of constant back and forth of; this is wrong we should not be doing it and it’s ok let’s go ahead with it, she wants to end the relationship but isn’t doing it, just putting a halt to the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect and just wants to be friends. She says, “I should have been the adult in the room. I don’t want to continue doing wrong.” She feels that when we inform our family about our intentions we will end up creating a huge and permanent split in our family. We will be the reason for our family to break apart. People will hate us. Previously at the beginning of our relationship she had said that she doesn’t care about what other people think of her. When I brought this up she said well I do care now. I tried convincing her that I’ll deal with all the heat from the family, you can even say he is the one pushing for it I’m not that interested. I’ll be able to make the family come to terms with us. But she still says even if you convince the family I know it’s wrong and my mind will not be at ease. She says even if we get married I won’t be able to live a happy life because I’ll be disturbed about the fact that we are cousins and we shouldn’t be married. Also whenever she sees other cousins they remind her that we are doing wrong. She feels bad when she sees them. Sometimes she says that I look like her brother and that makes it difficult for her. The thing I don’t understand is that these are issues that were there during the first year of our relationship, why are they becoming unbearable now. She was able to put these thoughts aside then. Why can’t she now? I asked her do you want to end our relationship? Her reply was, “Yes, sometimes I want to end it. But sometimes I don’t. I don’t know.” I said why don’t you end it then. She said, “You’ve done nothing but loved me. And that’s why it’s difficult for me to end it. I’m thinking about our relationship in a realistic way and you think in a hopeful way. There is no way our family will allow us to be together.”
I feel that if I can convince her that we are not doing anything wrong. We love each other and there’s nothing wrong about it, she might change her mind. The thing is I’ve tried everything I could to do that. But she doesn’t accept it. I’ve given her examples of cousin marriages happening for so many decades. Her response is that if people have been doing wrong that doesn’t mean we continue doing wrong.
You may think she does not love me anymore and is trying to find excuses to end our relationship. That’s not how it is. She is a tough independent woman. She does not let other people’s opinions play any role in her decision making. She thinks for herself and sticks to her decisions however painful they may be. I know her very well. She still loves me. Just not enough to marry me.
So 17 and i'm from New York. I went to Colombia for about 2 months to visit family that i haven't seen for years. I used to live in Colombia when I was younger but I moved to the United States when I was about 4. When we were children, my cousin Lucas and I were best friends... but that was 13 years ago and we haven't spoken since. Anyways, my first week in Colombia, I shared a room with my cousin. it was just a small room with two twin sized beds and we each slept in one. We had stayed up all night talking and playing games we remembered playing as kids. We then started talking about our memories together and he brought up one that i could never forget; The day i kissed him when we were kids. We both started laughing and we started playing thumb wrestling. I won and he then asked me if I remembered why I had kissed him when we were young. I said "no," and he told me "you got so excited about beating me at a thumb war that you just grabbed my face and kissed me,". I started blushing and I looked down at our hands that were still holding onto each other although the game was over. I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed it softly and he smiled. We realize it was already 4am and we each got into our beds but continued talking. I asked him if he was cold and he said yes, so I got out of my bed and walked over to his and put another blanket over him. He told me I was sweet and that I should crawl into his bed to warm him up. I laughed and about 5 minutes later, I took his suggestion and we were both laying underneath the 4 blankets on his bed. We just cuddled all night and talked until 7am when we heard our mothers walking around the house and I went back to my bed and we fell asleep.This was the start of it all. The following night we went star gazing and we kissed. We were inseparable throughout the rest of my trip. He made me feel so alive. one night our family went out for dinner and a show and i got pretty drunk and afterwards we went for a walk. We smoked a little bit and he made me feel so safe. he held my hand he made me feel so calm even though i'd normally feel paranoid while that intoxicated. I was so high but everything with him was so clear. I told him I loved him and he told me he felt the same way. I've never felt this way about anybody but him. I know that I am in love with him. Anyways, we were basically in a secret relationship for two months and we even had sex. It was both of our first time. I don't know what to do because I just left two days ago and I miss him so much. Im going back to Colombia in four months to visit again and my mother has been considering movie back there which I would be 100% on board with. I love it so much more there and I genuinely feel at home.It would also be so nice to live closer to Lucas. I really don't know what to do. We were both in relationships, but I broke up with my boyfriend (for unrelated reasons) before i got intimate with my cousin. My cousin is still with his girlfriend but he told me they aren't that serious and that it's temporary. We've decided to keep this all low-key for now because neither of us are sure about how serious we should let this get. Also our parents always joke about us being in love with each other because of how close we are and I honestly dont think they would be that surprised if they found out about our feelings for each other
Hello, my name is J. I’m 19/Male and from the terrible state of Texas. This is my first time posting here and this post is definitely a rant but any guidance and support given is greatly appreciated.
This is the story of me and A.
i would like to disclaim to everyone here that despite A being a minor, me and A have not had any sexual relations and I am aware of the rules on the site and the laws of my state.
It’s been 8 months since we’ve started this. She is 15 and I am 19 years old. We grew up together and despite us being each other’s first kid crush, we never thought much of each other until last June. That’s when everything changed. Another cousin and I were spending the week with A and her brother. We were friendly and although it was obvious we could both feel physical chemistry, we didn’t want to entertain those thoughts.
We started talking throughout the week and me and A figured we connect perfectly. We would stay up late at night in the living room whispering to each other, always talking. We’d talk until we crashed every night near each other in adjacent couches until one night. One night, we got more personal. We both brought up our history of depression and suicidal thoughts and attempts and through that tragedy, I felt our hearts connect. This wasn’t just infatuation. I have loved and cared for her my entire life but at that moment we felt like our souls become one. She was on the verge of tears, and something in me reacted without my brain telling me. I grabbed her and I hugged her and I held her tight to comfort her. I expected her to eventually pull away but she didn’t. The hug eventually turned into a snuggle and we laid down in each other’s arms on that couch. We never wanted it to end so we forced ourselves to stay awake all night, cuddled in each other’s arms. I felt the need to kiss her (and so did she later in admission) but I refrained from doing so. Her mom woke her up that morning and scolded her for falling asleep with a boy.
We began to text nonstop. In July I finally admitted my feelings to her and she reciprocated. The first week together felt weird and unsettling, mainly because we were concerned with us being related (it’s complicated but we’re slightly less than first cousins as we only share one grandparent but her grandparent I don’t share was the cousin of my grandmother. Yes, my family’s history from the early 1900s contained a lot of white trash). After some research, that feeling quickly went away and we began communicating through video chat online nonstop. This persisted until November. During that time, we fell in love and I fell for her. We may be young, but we’ve approached our relationship very in a very honest and mature manner that would make my own parents in their 30 year marriage jealous. We agree to be honest even if it hurts and we talk everything out before it can be manifested into resentment and our only ever fight occurred when she was suicidal. In recent months we’ve both worked together to carry each other out from our holes and all suicidal thoughts have subsided and we are incredibly happy together.
Never have I ever met such a loving, patient, and understanding woman. I don’t believe in fate but I believe we were made for each other. The words I put on this screen cannot help you fathom how much I love and respect her. We are 100% compatible and it pains me what the situation has turned into.
In late November I had a job housesitting for a week and I brought A and her brother. Her brother is one of my childhood best friends and I had placed more trust in him than I should have. Every time he turned his head or left the room, we would be affectionate to each other. We thought he caught us several times but he didn’t. He was totally oblivious but we didn’t know that. We agreed together it would be best to be open with him before he told anyone. We expected him to be more open about it but he reacted very negatively. We eventually talked him down and he seemed fine with it until the next day he gave an even worse reaction and gave us an ultimatum. Either we break up and never mention it, or he tell her parents the truth. I told him to go to hell at first. Eventually I lied and said we agreed to break up and never mention it again. All seemed well again until he told his parents later that week.
Our daily video chats? Gone. Her allowed to have her door open? Gone. Despite this, we made a promise to each other that no matter what happened, that we intended to spend our lives together and that I would someday be the father of her children when the time was right. We made it through the parent’s initial shock and reaction. She was grounded for a week with limited use on electronics. Her parents also shamed her and called her sick. My parents were different. My dad is very non-confrontational and to this day, has never talked to me about it. However, my mother is the most understanding and loving woman I have ever met. She had friends who were cousins and the idea doesn’t particularly bother her. I confessed everything to her and in my lowest hour, she comforted me and brought me back up. She doesn’t necessarily support the match but only because my love for A is illegal in the state of Texas and even can land you in jail. (Seriously, to hell with Texas!) my mother just doesn’t want to see her son in jail. (Also the age of consent in Texas must be of 3 years difference in age or less and I’m 4 years older).
Since this time, we sneak in texts together throughout the day and it turned into a mostly online relationship experience. We only grew stronger together. However, I wouldn’t be here if things didn’t go as planned. Her parents purposely keep her active and busy and along with constant paranoia, we have texted less and less. It’s not fair for her as her family is incredibly overbearing and restrictive on her life to make sure she has no time to text me while my family remained just as liberal with their concern as before they found out. Despite talking much less, our feelings toward each other haven’t changed but the past few weeks have hurt a lot. My natural insecurities from a past abusive relationship get the better of me sometimes and I need reassurance of our stability which in effect will scare her about our stability. It began to give her anxiety around me which didn’t help encourage her to try and text whenever she could along with her parents keeping her busy and constant paranoia.
Last night, I could no longer bear to sit in silence as I was unsure what our relationship became. I texted her and confronted her about where we are right now. We communicated and now it’s established that technically we are still together but due to time constraints we have given each other time to let ourselves grow but assuring each other that we both have exclusive interest in each other and that this brake in our relationship is temporary and we will resume everything in time. I wholeheartedly believe A means what she says but this crippling thought in the back of my mind warns me that she may lose interest and there’s nothing I can do.
The simple reality is that I am in love with this woman and this brake was only one sided because I still have the ability to talk to her whenever but she doesn’t. I love her and I’m more than willing to wait and do what it takes in steps to make this work. I have never felt so completed, so happy, and so fulfilled by the companionship of someone. She is truly my better half and even if somehow our relationship didn’t work and one of us moved on and had a family with someone else, I would never feel satisfied without her. There is no other room in my heart for anyone else. I love A and I plan on spending my life with her. Maybe we’re young and we haven’t fully found ourselves but I am confident we will grow together.
TL;DR: Young couple, caught, time constraints have put us on hold, my separation anxiety sucks, and I’m willing to wait.
I’d love to hear all of your thoughts and advice!
Thank you so much for taking this much time to read my story and possibly give your two cents. It’s means so much to be able to express this to someone. I wish all of you luck!
Im very close with my second cousin and we spend alot of time together. I've had feelings for her for few years now, i thought it would go away, thought it was just a physical attraction because she IS beautiful. But as time went on the feelings stayed and grew.
She is extremely nice to me, and we talk alot, she always tells me to come back the next day and come hang out. She even has a nick name for me. Idk if she has any where near the same feelings, i wish i knew.
I dont know what to do, on one hand i deeply love her and long to hold her and kiss her she is beautiful but on the other i dont want to ruin what we got and make things weird between us.
Is it ok for second cousins to be intimate ? How do i even go about seeing if she feels the same way and if she does how would i convince her its ok?
Idk where to even start
Sorry for the long description but I need some advice.
My maternal first cousin recently had a bad separation. His ex cheated on him and broke his trust. Although he told me he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore I think he hasn't moved on completely yet. The reason I say this because I've accidentally found her picture in his wallet.
Anyway, so I met my cousin after 7 years. We had a thing 7 years back but that didn't last for some reason. Now, that I met him again the spark started to return. We both are deeply attracted to each other and sexual tension is massive. As we didn't want to be in a relationship for a reason we agreed to be fwb.
I lost my virginity to him and the sex was freaking awesome. He just LOVED sex with me. The sex had always been passionate and hot. He's obsessed with me. He had always wanted to make love to me. He even told me I turn him on like he never thought was possible and to him I was irresistible. He even said he never felt this chemistry with anyone else. I had given him massive turn offs at times yet it didn't stop him from wanting me. Not to mention he genuinely cared a lot about me. He loved taking me out and spending time with me. Used to get offended if I didn't join him while eating. And felt twinge of jealousy if I talked to other guys.
I ended the fwb relationship with him for a reason and told him. He was deeply hurt, I could see a certain pain in his eyes. He reluctantly agreed without wanting to know the reason. And from that day he has become aloof and distant. He still cares about me and talks to me but he's toned down.
Is it how fwb supposed to feel when the relationship is over? Why is my cousin behaving like this? He's a very experienced man and compared to him I am a novice who can't even give a proper bj, what's so sexy about me that used to turn him on like crazy?