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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Kakieng

I love my second cousin. What do i do

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Im very close with my cousin and we spend alot of time together. I've had feelings for her for s few years now, i thought it would go away, thought it was just a physical attraction because she IS beautiful. But as time went on the feelings stayed and grew.

 

She is extremely nice to me, and we talk alot, she always tells me to come back the next day and come hang out. She even has a nick name for me. Idk if she has any where near the same feelings, i wish i knew.

 

I dont know what to do, on one hand i deeply love her and long to hold her and kiss her she is beautiful but on the other i dont want to ruin what we got and make things weird between us.  

 

Is it ok for second cousins to be intimate ? How do i even go about seeing if she feels the same way and if she does how would i convince her its ok?

 

Idk where to even start

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Forgot to mention, we are both 25, in the USA.  Knew each other all our lives.

 

She really enjoys me being around, sje gets sad when i can't and acts happy when i tell her im on my way. Today she was telling me to come over today and said she misses her cousin, even though i see her almost daily, she lives kinda close. When other people are around she acts slightly different then when we are alone.

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Use the "If we weren't cousins..." line. If she says something eww or if it's awkward, just pull out and say u were joking. Cousins usually aren't that intimate with eachother sounds like a good possibility she likes you 

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I co-sign on that part I think that you should follow your heart and try to make a scenario and ask her on what would you do if we wasn't cousins... Also accident after she feel about you and bring it up.

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I'll try it, i looked into body language signs to tell if someone liked you, she does damn near every one i read.

 

 

Heading to her place now :)

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Update: i used the if we weren't cousins idea in a more round about way, she didnt seem weirded out or disgusted, kinda neutral about it.

 

Also told her i had a dream where we had to go on a trip for some thing and she seemed to enjoy the idea. She had a twinkle in her eye when she smiled.

 

Idk may be reading into it too much. 

 

O forgot to mention, about a year ago she seen my car at a family members house and i guess she like slammed on the breaks to pull in. The friends she was with were saying how she was talking about me and she got embarrassed and told them to shut up but wanted to tell me about this real crazy dream about me but could never go into detail.

Also one christmas get together we were sitting next to each other, she put her hand on my knee for like a good 5 minutes, we both never said anything about it. I thought she would pull away realizing she made a mistake but kept it there. When she stopped and got up she never was like "oooo, im sorry, i didn't realize" we just never talked about it.

Could that mean something.

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But the situation is even more complicated im afraid. She has two kids, 7 and 9, and has one on the way. Her bf treats her like holy crapoly! and their not really together really (thought about using the if we werent cousins i would show her how she should be treated).

My girlfriend who im on the verge of leaving because she treats me like holy crapoly!, we have a kid and one on the way.

 

My cousin is a very rational and mature person just like me, we both had to grow up early. I dont think she would be with me even if she felt slight ways that way about me, unless it was alot, like she loved me more then i love her.

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Nice! What exactly was her response to "If we were cousins..?" Was she quiet ?

You're lucky.. I'm starting to think mine just wants to be really close friends. wish she gave me the signs you get but maybe it's simply because there hasn't been enough time. We've talked through text and calls for a month, and recently just hung out for a week when I was in town. 

Has she ever said "I love you" to you? Cause she has to me which makes me think it's totally familial love

Maybe still too early

but do you mind detailing your earlier relationship with her? If not it's cool haha

Edit: woah just read new post, you guys are already 30+ I'm assuming. I'd definetly go for the confession tho

 

 

 

Edited by Mellow As Jello

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She was quite, she does say "i love you", not sure if its just family love, i say it back meaning it for real little does she know lol. 

 

No we are both 25.

And earlier relationship, um always been good cousins, had a good time around each other but she didnt really care to hang out with me really.

 

When we were kids, around 7 or 8, she married me.

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1 hour ago, Yankeeshakes4313 said:

Yes... That means allot... 😁.. go for it and tell her how u feel about her.. she most likely feel the same way

Yea but if i do and she shoots me down I'll loose one of my best friends and it will hurt so bad

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3 minutes ago, Yankeeshakes4313 said:

Well until y'all relationships end that's y'all currently in.. then you can get things done...

Id leave her for my cousin and her bf is such a piece of holy crapoly!, pretty much broken up if she moves to these apartments but she doesnt really have a choice

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Wow a lot of important missed details.. the kids are a huge problem, you need to sort the relationships out first. And be patient with the confession, im sure a perfect opportunity will arise eventually. 

Forget what we said earlier. I'd honestly wait to tell her how you feel

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2 minutes ago, Mellow As Jello said:

Wow a lot of important missed details.. the kids are a huge problem, you need to sort the relationships out first. And be patient with the confession, im sure a perfect opportunity will arise eventually. 

Forget what we said earlier. I'd honestly wait to tell her how you feel

💯💯💯 agree to it... I would wait to if I was u

 

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I'm thinking about writing her a love letter, mapping out exactly how i feel. Hiding it in her room and tell her i left it in her room, if she doesn't write me about it then I'll just stay away and end that chapter of my life

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