Get Smart on the Web 09/16/2016Be informed on better ways to stay safe on the web -- Source: Mozilla
By A.R Wright
This is possibly the hardest thing that I have ever done. I did not know where else to turn as this has been eating me up inside for a very long time. I find, and I am sure some others will agree with me, that being in love with your cousin, or, coming out as I call it, is worse than being Gay or Trans in Western Culture. I have found that the prejudice and disgust I get from most people even when, jokingly, I suggest I could possibly be in love with my cousin. And I am. Signing up to this forum to get this horrible thing off my chest was harder than I care to admit and I didn't want to even use my real email address in case it was hacked.
Long winded introduction aside I have been in love with my second cousin for over twenty years. Even since I was a small child. I thought it was a phase and I was even told, by my therapist whom I have been seeing for nine years, that it was and that I would get over it. I have stopped seeing her as even she said to me it is something that I should, under no circumstances pursue and that it is something that I shouldn't even discuss with the cousin in question. I felt that, this deep dark secret isn't something that was safe from anyone, even my therapist the person I thought I could trust with this. What frustrates me is that my our family appears to be lenient when it comes to ALL OTHER forms of love. A 70 year old dating a teenager? No problem as long as she's legal. A man marrying 5 times in the course of 7 years? Who hasn't? But this, this seems to be the one thing that both of us have to hid for the rest of our lives. Every time I see him he gives me these looks which I know are longing. We have been on a few dates and it hurts now even to look at him. He seems to be ashamed of how he feels about me. Anything he says to me now is so completely innocuous that I don't know who he is anymore. I think of him every single day, I can't sleep or eat and what's worse is I can't tell anyone why. My mother thinks i'm depressed and I am but not for the reasons she thinks. I never thought something like love would kill me slowly but it is. As for him? Last year at our Christmas get together we were being especially affectionate towards each other. No kissing or anything like that but we were obviously infatuated with each other. The looks from my Aunts and Uncles were of utter disgust. As if, we shouldn't even be able to express how we feel without being physically affectionate. He has not seen me all year and I feel like this might be why. He never tells me how he feels, it's always just looks. Anytime we're alone together I am happier than I could ever imagine. I know that I will never love anyone as much as I love him. I want to tell him so badly how I feel but I feel so ashamed of myself. I hate myself for falling in love with him and it seems that everyone around me is telling me it's wrong. All I needed to do was right this down. Sometimes I can't stop crying because I know that no matter how hard we try our love story will never have a happy ending.
Im very close with my second cousin and we spend alot of time together. I've had feelings for her for few years now, i thought it would go away, thought it was just a physical attraction because she IS beautiful. But as time went on the feelings stayed and grew.
She is extremely nice to me, and we talk alot, she always tells me to come back the next day and come hang out. She even has a nick name for me. Idk if she has any where near the same feelings, i wish i knew.
I dont know what to do, on one hand i deeply love her and long to hold her and kiss her she is beautiful but on the other i dont want to ruin what we got and make things weird between us.
Is it ok for second cousins to be intimate ? How do i even go about seeing if she feels the same way and if she does how would i convince her its ok?
Idk where to even start
Sorry for the long description but I need some advice.
My maternal first cousin recently had a bad separation. His ex cheated on him and broke his trust. Although he told me he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore I think he hasn't moved on completely yet. The reason I say this because I've accidentally found her picture in his wallet.
Anyway, so I met my cousin after 7 years. We had a thing 7 years back but that didn't last for some reason. Now, that I met him again the spark started to return. We both are deeply attracted to each other and sexual tension is massive. As we didn't want to be in a relationship for a reason we agreed to be fwb.
I lost my virginity to him and the sex was freaking awesome. He just LOVED sex with me. The sex had always been passionate and hot. He's obsessed with me. He had always wanted to make love to me. He even told me I turn him on like he never thought was possible and to him I was irresistible. He even said he never felt this chemistry with anyone else. I had given him massive turn offs at times yet it didn't stop him from wanting me. Not to mention he genuinely cared a lot about me. He loved taking me out and spending time with me. Used to get offended if I didn't join him while eating. And felt twinge of jealousy if I talked to other guys.
I ended the fwb relationship with him for a reason and told him. He was deeply hurt, I could see a certain pain in his eyes. He reluctantly agreed without wanting to know the reason. And from that day he has become aloof and distant. He still cares about me and talks to me but he's toned down.
Is it how fwb supposed to feel when the relationship is over? Why is my cousin behaving like this? He's a very experienced man and compared to him I am a novice who can't even give a proper bj, what's so sexy about me that used to turn him on like crazy?
on my previous topic i told what had happened between me any my cousin
I'm 21 yr old male shes 19 yr old (my mothers younger sister's daughter) we had a spark between us for many years, we will always use physical contact to test our boundaries you know the usual accidental boob touch and butt squeeze/slapping , 2 months ago i visited her and we talked to a bit before leaving i asked for a hug and she hugged me the words "I love you" slipped out of my mouth there was a awkward silence for a moment, i panicked and wanted to do something to end the silence and suddenly slapped her butt(both sides), she told me not to touch her and i replied that if she didn't like it, she didn't answer that and again i asked that we used to touch each other all the time, she replied "that was when we were younger" (we used to do this kind of stuff on a monthly basis don't know what she meant by that) after that I wanted to change the topic and asked her to come to my house anytime she wanted,she replied "after 10 days i will because of work", after that on the same day i called her to see if she is still annoyed with me she talked normally, 4 days after that i found out she had blocked me on all social media, i thought she wanted time to process the things that happened and i gave her some space and time to time without wanting to disturbing her (its been 2 months since this happened),10 days ago i downloaded a random chat app and found she was in it, but i didn't want to disturb or annoy her further so i kept quite,4 days ago i found out that she also blocked me on that app too.
what if she never wants to talk to me again? or she told her parents about what had happened?
i really love her and I am sure that she has feelings for me as well.....I don't know what happened this time
I really want to get back to her ,things between us are on and off most of the time but she always gets back but this time its taking too long I'm worried she might never want to be with me again
one of my older cousin (female) married her cousin (her father's older sister's son) if was months ago (our family circle accepts marriage's like this) that was the time when things started getting more serious between me and her but there is a problem our family circle accepts cross cousin relationships but sadly parallel cousin relationships are a taboo
we never really talked about our relationship or marriage we only used to do some physical contact stuff to each other (a lot!), i think i scared her off by telling that i love her or it could be the butt slapping thing i really don't know
i haven't tried calling her out of fear
I'm arranging a get together with all the cousins and i really want her to come so i can talk with her (don't know how to invite her need any advice or help with on the invite plan)
I'm hoping that being with all the other cousins will ease her and make her more comfortable to talk with me
this is my plan so far (feel free to tell me if there is anything wrong with this idea or how to execute this plan) i really need all the help i can get, I don't want to lose her
i know most of you guys went through some kindof problems with your cousins before having a relationship with them so you know or kindof relate to what I'm going through right now please please try to help