Get Smart on the Web 09/16/2016Be informed on better ways to stay safe on the web -- Source: Mozilla
By A.R Wright
This is possibly the hardest thing that I have ever done. I did not know where else to turn as this has been eating me up inside for a very long time. I find, and I am sure some others will agree with me, that being in love with your cousin, or, coming out as I call it, is worse than being Gay or Trans in Western Culture. I have found that the prejudice and disgust I get from most people even when, jokingly, I suggest I could possibly be in love with my cousin. And I am. Signing up to this forum to get this horrible thing off my chest was harder than I care to admit and I didn't want to even use my real email address in case it was hacked.
Long winded introduction aside I have been in love with my second cousin for over twenty years. Even since I was a small child. I thought it was a phase and I was even told, by my therapist whom I have been seeing for nine years, that it was and that I would get over it. I have stopped seeing her as even she said to me it is something that I should, under no circumstances pursue and that it is something that I shouldn't even discuss with the cousin in question. I felt that, this deep dark secret isn't something that was safe from anyone, even my therapist the person I thought I could trust with this. What frustrates me is that my our family appears to be lenient when it comes to ALL OTHER forms of love. A 70 year old dating a teenager? No problem as long as she's legal. A man marrying 5 times in the course of 7 years? Who hasn't? But this, this seems to be the one thing that both of us have to hid for the rest of our lives. Every time I see him he gives me these looks which I know are longing. We have been on a few dates and it hurts now even to look at him. He seems to be ashamed of how he feels about me. Anything he says to me now is so completely innocuous that I don't know who he is anymore. I think of him every single day, I can't sleep or eat and what's worse is I can't tell anyone why. My mother thinks i'm depressed and I am but not for the reasons she thinks. I never thought something like love would kill me slowly but it is. As for him? Last year at our Christmas get together we were being especially affectionate towards each other. No kissing or anything like that but we were obviously infatuated with each other. The looks from my Aunts and Uncles were of utter disgust. As if, we shouldn't even be able to express how we feel without being physically affectionate. He has not seen me all year and I feel like this might be why. He never tells me how he feels, it's always just looks. Anytime we're alone together I am happier than I could ever imagine. I know that I will never love anyone as much as I love him. I want to tell him so badly how I feel but I feel so ashamed of myself. I hate myself for falling in love with him and it seems that everyone around me is telling me it's wrong. All I needed to do was right this down. Sometimes I can't stop crying because I know that no matter how hard we try our love story will never have a happy ending.
Im very close with my cousin and we spend alot of time together. I've had feelings for her for s few years now, i thought it would go away, thought it was just a physical attraction because she IS beautiful. But as time went on the feelings stayed and grew.
She is extremely nice to me, and we talk alot, she always tells me to come back the next day and come hang out. She even has a nick name for me. Idk if she has any where near the same feelings, i wish i knew.
I dont know what to do, on one hand i deeply love her and long to hold her and kiss her she is beautiful but on the other i dont want to ruin what we got and make things weird between us.
Is it ok for second cousins to be intimate ? How do i even go about seeing if she feels the same way and if she does how would i convince her its ok?
Idk where to even start
So, here's the deal. I'm 22 & my girl cousin is 25 I believe. I've had a crush on this girl for a long time now. Only until we both gotten older that I started to notice she MIGHT like me as well but I'm not quite sure how to approach this. Also, we aren't so close to each other. Even though we see each other more than often. It's more of a small talk type thing with us.
the very first moment I noticed she's into me was SUPER random. I was getting home one night around 11pm I'd say it was. I had just got out the shower & was preparing to eat my chocolate chip cookies I bought from Subway. While they warmed up in the microwave, out of nowhere here comes my sexy arse cousin & this other girl (sisters friend, she's sexy as well. Lol) coming in the kitchen. I thought nothing of that at first but then they both grabbed my arms & basically told me to choose one of them. (They were either very buzzed or drunk. Some family of mine were out in the backyard having a good time.) In that moment I seriously wanted to choose my cousin but I noticed my cousins mom looking into the kitchen so I had to settle with the other girl. Turns out my cousin got jealous (I think) & threw my cookies into the hot pot of soup!! (Why else would she do that??)
Second time was actually BEFORE the first event took place. She told me she was leaving & to close the frontdoor for her. She was wearing a tight green sundress & oh my goodness did she look scrumptious. I couldn't help myself but to slap her butt as she walked out my door. She turned around & said to me "omg! Hahahaha". She said it in that tone when girls pretend to not like something but you know they really do.
Third. Sometimes when we walk by each other in the hallway of my house. I touch her thighs. Whether it'd be a quick touch or a long touch. She doesn't seem bothered by it. & on those rare moments when we hug I place my hands on her lower back close to touching her butt but not quite & she doesn't seem bothered by that either.
Fourth. She tends to stand in my sight of view whenever she's in the kitchen. My room is right by the kitchen & can see a little over there when the door is open. & it's always this one particular spot she stands at whenever my door is open so I don't that's just coincidence that she's standing there every time.
Fifth. She got my number somehow one night & told me to open the back door for her cus I had just finished locking the house. I didn't bother asking how she got it, though. From my sister most likely but who knows for sure.
Sixth. I can tell her feelings for me get revealed when she's been drinking. The way she looks at me & the way she speaks to the other females that are talking to me. She's always telling them "quit bothering him. You're probably annoying him." Then proceeds to give me a smile.
Does anyone think it would be random to start texting her even though we don't talk like that at all?? I've been contemplating this situation for quite some time now & would like some advice!
Sorry for the long description but I need some advice.
My maternal first cousin recently had a bad separation. His ex cheated on him and broke his trust. Although he told me he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore I think he hasn't moved on completely yet. The reason I say this because I've accidentally found her picture in his wallet.
Anyway, so I met my cousin after 7 years. We had a thing 7 years back but that didn't last for some reason. Now, that I met him again the spark started to return. We both are deeply attracted to each other and sexual tension is massive. As we didn't want to be in a relationship for a reason we agreed to be fwb.
I lost my virginity to him and the sex was freaking awesome. He just LOVED sex with me. The sex had always been passionate and hot. He's obsessed with me. He had always wanted to make love to me. He even told me I turn him on like he never thought was possible and to him I was irresistible. He even said he never felt this chemistry with anyone else. I had given him massive turn offs at times yet it didn't stop him from wanting me. Not to mention he genuinely cared a lot about me. He loved taking me out and spending time with me. Used to get offended if I didn't join him while eating. And felt twinge of jealousy if I talked to other guys.
I ended the fwb relationship with him for a reason and told him. He was deeply hurt, I could see a certain pain in his eyes. He reluctantly agreed without wanting to know the reason. And from that day he has become aloof and distant. He still cares about me and talks to me but he's toned down.
Is it how fwb supposed to feel when the relationship is over? Why is my cousin behaving like this? He's a very experienced man and compared to him I am a novice who can't even give a proper bj, what's so sexy about me that used to turn him on like crazy?