Hello, I am in a very stressing moment right now. I’ve been dating my cousin since One year. We have a long distance relationship Ive seen him 4 times in 2018. I was planning to travel in 2 weeks. But his mother just found out we were dating. She saw our messages on his facebook account that he left opened. We were hiding all this time. We planned to first move out together and see if it works, tell all the family about it. Now that his mother is aware, she is extremely mad and told him she was going to say to all our family. She’s aware that Im supposed to travel there soon. She mentioned saying to my sister and my grand mother. We are latinos. They are extremely against it. Specially over there. I live in Canada. Now she treats him like a complete holy crapoly!. And told him that she wouldnt say anything if he breaks up with me and tells me he has a gf over there. Now apparently shes planning to write me a letter and send it to me via his messenger. To pretend that she just discoreved us. She is a very difficult woman in general and super impulsive and agressive when she is mad. He told me to play along so she thinks we are breaking up. For her not to tell the family. I honestly don’t know what to expect. My cousin is afraid she would insult me and that I would change my mind about us. I honestly love him very deeply. But I just don’t know what to say to her. I have had a problem like that in the past like 8 years ago when I was 17. I had a cousin who really had a crush on me and my family saw that and made the biggest problem of my life and I never went back after 7 years to my country. For me this is different as I do see him like the man of my life. Also the fact that I am traveling to see my mother who is their neighbour. I don’t know how will I tell my mom that I don’t want to visit my aunt, she would find that extremely weird. As I usually like to spend time with them. My mother is a very religious person with a very strong caracter. Anybody who has been through this and has good advice of how to respectful respond to their cousin’s parents? He is the last kid. And he doesnt have a father..
Thank you in advance❤️
So, here's my story. Me(21) and him(26) are cousin. He knows me inside out. And the other way around. We are like made for each other. In the meaning, i have what he dont. And he have what i dont. Its like we are not going to have preference nor personality arguing.
We rarely meet. Since we are basically live in different country. We meet at least every 2 years or more. Back then, we rarely chat to each other. We start to chat intensely last year since we have a trip plan together this year.
We are both were so distantly back then. We were never touch each other since we feel uncomfortable with that.
He came to my country last week. And i was so shocked by his change. since in the 3rd day he started to ask my hand(he says that he is cold. Yet his hands are warm to hot.) on the 4th day, he even hold my hand almost 24 hours. He even complain that his hand is burning. But he wont let go of my hand. He even do it in publicly like in a mall when we are with his good friends.
Not only that. He likes to hug me(purposely or not). He tries to sit on my lap whenever i sit beside him. He forcely asked me once to sit on his lap. But i hold my weigh since im. . .well kind of obesity and he's all boney lol.
In the 5th day. I felt something wrong with our relationship. So i asked my friend that he also willing to hold hand with(i think because he find her has the same vibe as me). And actually i want to pretend that im jealous. But in the middle, my insecure(i have this belonging guard insecure) got me lol. So i kept say "who are u? Do i know u? Dont touch me" a few times in a day. He said "why'd u say that. Im feeling sad. But I LIKE YOU".
And then i need to take my leave for school in other city. I felt guilty over what i did to him. I was thinking that im not even his gf. But it always happends to me. Either to girl or boy friends.
After i departed in my school's city, i tried to apologize to him. Via chat(because my conversation in english is not that good yet). But he insisted to call me for answer my apology. It turns out that he also think about me all day. And he almost cry because of it.
SO MY QUESTION IS. What kind of LIKE he mentioned here? Im afraid he is going to romantic road.
My friend said that we have a displacement possibility. Since he had someone he like. But got rejected before he say it.
But. . .what kind of brother sister relationship i have here? He even try to hold my hand and place it in his groin a few times when we have random chat while watching tv.
When i said my insecurity, he said that i must say what i like, or not from what he done. So he can change it to the way i want. What kind of brother would do and ask that thing to his first cousin sister?
Yesterday he caught a bad cold. And i came home just because he wont drink his medicine. As i remember he WILL listen to me. And yes. He listened me lol
The first time i came home, he said that he's so happy to see me. And he said i must know the reason. But i said that i dont. And he cutted the chat about it. We chat alot after that. He even say that i should not date a boy(idk if its a joke or not. Because he said he might be jealous)
He had a glance at my new headphone. He asked if its new. So i tell him that its from someone. He insisted i must tell him. So i tell him that its from someone who like me. And then he kept silent for a few moment while hold my shoulders from behind and then answer "but i like u too. But a different like ya?(idk if its a question or not)" the way he hold me was like trying to block my view of him.
For some reason i feel uneasy to leave that thing like that. So i tell him that actually im scared of that guy who gave me the headphone.
After that we were cuddling until bed time. We cuddling, holding hand, jokes and laughs at nothing all the time.
But he says that im his close friend and family. Does it mean he. . .doesnt realize his true feeling, trying to hide it in the name or family, feel confused because im his cousin or im really are a displacement of someone he like?
So here it goes, I have a cousin who lives in the US, she’s half american half filipino. She’s 14 years old and I’m 23. I finished my bachelors degree in nursing. I don’t have a boyfriend as of now(by choice). It came to a point that we became really close with this cousin of mine, we talked about problems, family , dreams, anything under the sun. Until we came into a point when she started kissing me, I was shocked! And acted that it never happened since we promised each other not to do it again. Days have passed until I got really drunk, we sleep in the same bed, I closed my eyes, and she started kissing me, really hard. I was really dizzy and tired at that time so I just let her, Until she touches me below the belt and I said stop, the next day she was embarrassed with what she did and acted like it was a dream so I confronted her, until she said sorry. I told her that I won’t let that thing separate us, and I forgave her and put everything behind. I also told her that I am willing to do it over and over again so that she will not feel guilty because I dont want to lose ny cousin. I did exactly what she did that night and ended up doing it over and over again. We asked our selves if it’s right. She told me it’s not, but its not wrong either. What we did is a choice we both consented.
Is it wrong? Is it immoral? We’re pretty surewe’re straight, but why do we keep on doing this?
Am I inlove with my cousin?
Ok so I'm new and I really need an advice because I'm so confused.
So my cousin lives in another country (where my parents are originally from) so we really didn't have that much of a contact besides summer, bc we go to visit our family.
I'm born and raised in an european country, where I currently live.
A few years ago, when we were preteens, it was the last time we met (before this year) and we didn't even talk, he now says it was because he was shy. Obviously we know each other since we were little kids and we would always play together and have fun, but as we grew up, we started falling apart and didn't talk at all when we visited them. I had this little feeling for him but I always wanted to hide it, because I grew up in Europe, where marriage or romantic relationships between cousins is seen as incest even though it's legal, but still, it's a huge social taboo.
So fast forward to this year. I'm 19 and he is two years older than me. We are young adults. Keep in mind that all this years I was trying to make my own life and we didn't have any contact at all.
So we go on vacation there and we meet. Throughout the whole journey we didn't talk that much. I was really nervous but I also didn't want to create any sort of relationship between us so I kept it polite but I still was kind of playful, if that makes sense. Oh let me tell you that in this country, marriage between cousins is very common, and normalized, so in that aspect we don't have any problem.
Ok, so the thing is, then he got my social media and when I went back to my country, we started talking. He wanted to know whether I was in a relationship or not and we started knowing each other really well for the first time. After a few weeks he asked me if I liked him or if I could like him one day, because I previously told him I didn't want any relationship with someone from the family. I told him yes and we continued to talk (everyday for HOURS till we go to sleep) and just know each other.
As a person I really really really like him. He is such a nice, sweet, funny and open-minded person. I was NOT expecting it. We talk every day and we talk about everything. Physically I am very attracted to him, since forever actually. And he also likes me. He even told me that he sees us together forever.
Now here's the problem. I'm so afraid about what people will say.
But when I start to analyze things, it's not even that deep. My family will probably 100% approve it, as I told you it's very normal for us in our culture. My friends, they were a little surprised at the beginning when I explained it to them, but quickly went to tell me that I should do what I felt and they are really supportive and encourage me. Legally, it's totally fine and legal in the country I live and basically throughout the whole continent. So the only problem I have is my fear and my thoughts about what others will say.
The thing is both of our fathers are brothers, so we have the same surname. In the country I am from, married women don't take their husband's last name, so if people see we have the same surname they will definitely notice we are related. Also, kids take both surnames, from the father and the mother, so technically they will have the same surname TWICE.
I mean, I know it's the most stupid reason I could come up with, but I really care about what other think about me or us in this case, and this is really destroying our, let's say, happiness, because I'm constantly thinking about this and can't seem to get over it.
I really like him, I actually think I feel way more for him than just like him and whenever he messages me I become the happiest person on Earth. But I'm constantly seeing comments of people saying it's incest, it's wrong, it's disgusting, bla bla bla and it makes me really confused and uncomfortable.
Once I arrived to the point of saying, you know what, I can't continue with this "relationship", I'll just block him everywhere but something kept me off from doing it.
I really thought of just hiding it and not tell anyone about it, I mean the fact that we are cousins, but they will eventually find out one way or another, and that terrifies me.
What should I do? He will get tired of this at the end, because he tells me repeatedly that we shouldn't care about what others think but it's not easy to do it when you live in a society where for loving someone you're considered weird and mentally ill.
If you arrived till here, thank you and I hope to hear from you. Kisses 😘
By Jordan Colbert
Our story started roughly 2 years ago when my cousin confessed she had feelings for me. At the time she said this is wrong and we should not be doing this. But we continued developing our relationship anyway. We planned of our lives together after marriage, babies, places to visit, things to do and so on. We lived a happy life. Now after two years of constant back and forth of; this is wrong we should not be doing it and it’s ok let’s go ahead with it, she wants to end the relationship but isn’t doing it, just putting a halt to the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect and just wants to be friends. She says, “I should have been the adult in the room. I don’t want to continue doing wrong.” She feels that when we inform our family about our intentions we will end up creating a huge and permanent split in our family. We will be the reason for our family to break apart. People will hate us. Previously at the beginning of our relationship she had said that she doesn’t care about what other people think of her. When I brought this up she said well I do care now. I tried convincing her that I’ll deal with all the heat from the family, you can even say he is the one pushing for it I’m not that interested. I’ll be able to make the family come to terms with us. But she still says even if you convince the family I know it’s wrong and my mind will not be at ease. She says even if we get married I won’t be able to live a happy life because I’ll be disturbed about the fact that we are cousins and we shouldn’t be married. Also whenever she sees other cousins they remind her that we are doing wrong. She feels bad when she sees them. Sometimes she says that I look like her brother and that makes it difficult for her. The thing I don’t understand is that these are issues that were there during the first year of our relationship, why are they becoming unbearable now. She was able to put these thoughts aside then. Why can’t she now? I asked her do you want to end our relationship? Her reply was, “Yes, sometimes I want to end it. But sometimes I don’t. I don’t know.” I said why don’t you end it then. She said, “You’ve done nothing but loved me. And that’s why it’s difficult for me to end it. I’m thinking about our relationship in a realistic way and you think in a hopeful way. There is no way our family will allow us to be together.”
I feel that if I can convince her that we are not doing anything wrong. We love each other and there’s nothing wrong about it, she might change her mind. The thing is I’ve tried everything I could to do that. But she doesn’t accept it. I’ve given her examples of cousin marriages happening for so many decades. Her response is that if people have been doing wrong that doesn’t mean we continue doing wrong.
You may think she does not love me anymore and is trying to find excuses to end our relationship. That’s not how it is. She is a tough independent woman. She does not let other people’s opinions play any role in her decision making. She thinks for herself and sticks to her decisions however painful they may be. I know her very well. She still loves me. Just not enough to marry me.