What do I do?

[RRS14 0]

Long story short I have been in an on off relationship with my cousin for a long time. We both got married to other people because it's what was expected of us to do. No one knew about our relationship and we kept it well hidden. My husband found out not long ago and I have begged him not to tell anyone because everyone in my family will hate me and my cousin and my parents won't be able to face anyone. 

My marriage was always on the rocks and so was my cousins but we made it work for the kids sakes. My husband told my brother last night and I can feel the hate and disgust from his message. I will lose everyone I know if they all know and my cousin will too. I have tried everything to keep my cousin safe and I don't know if I can. I'm on the verge of jacking in my life because I can't deal with the turmoil.

Can anyone help or is this It?

[LadyC 242]

maybe your brother's disgust is as much over your infidelity as it is over who you were unfaithful with. and perhaps you should have considered all the turmoil before you cheated on your husband. rocky marriages don't justify affairs. and i'm not sure why you felt you had the right to expect your husband to keep your secret. he was the one who was betrayed, not you... you don't get play the victim here.

i know that's not what you want to hear, and you probably think i'm a heartless old cow. but we don't support adultery, no matter who it's with. a lot of people come here thinking that we believe there is nothing more sacred than a cousin romance. but the truth is, marriage is what is sacred, and if you start a romantic relationship with a cousin while you're married to someone else, then your cousin relationship is already tainted.

[pooch 67]

^Tis true!