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Anniejay

I'm in love with my first cousin. . .

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I've been in love with my male cousin for almost 10 years... we were always very close.... I was 14 when I realized. And at first I'm thinking crush right? Then when I turned 16 my parents split up so I moved back to our hometown, and we leaned on eachother, his family was having issues at the time too. We became closer I spent the summer with his family seeing him every day, hearing his laugh. It was the best kind of torture Ha. We talked about the future, and life, and he told me I was what he wanted in a wife. ..in a vague sort of way.Anyway about a year later he was going to California for school and he asked me to go with him. I said no, but never told him the real reason which was that my parents had found out about my feelings for him. We talked a little while he was there. . . He drunk dialed me one night because he was lonely and pretty much said he was going to start dating a girl he met before he left. Which I now think he was trying to see if I felt anything for him. So long story short -ish Ha. He came back married her and they moved back to Cali together. Here we are 3 years later and I text him one day trying to forgive him for leaving (he never said goodbye ) and he tells me they aren't working,  she hates their life and blames him for everything... that they haven't been sleeping together... and now they are getting a divorce. So I guess my question is does he love me too... should I tell him and take a chance. ?

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maybe, but you should do nothing, let me repeat NOTHING, until the divorce is final. you don't need to become a part of the divorce drama! because if you do, you will inevitably become the sole reason for the divorce. even if you don't think you are, that's what it will become. so wait until the divorce is final and then see how things go before you make a decision to pursue or not.

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No of course. I want their divorce to be final before anything would happen. My main concern though is whether he really feels anything more than family towards me... we've always been close, shared family problems, appreciated eachother's talents and dreams... have a love of learning. And we even have similar thought processes, thought of eachother as attractive, always very passionate with the other. . . But even after all of this and some very intimate moments ( nothing sexual ) ... but still closer than family "should" be... I've never said anything about my feelings..at least not starkly obvious... so I'm just wondering... maybe it's just me? I can't tell if he cares that way about me too... and I'm so scared of losing what we do have.

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i understand what you're saying, but those are questions that you need to keep wondering about for now. i wish i could answer it for you, but of course i can't.  if he's really going through a divorce, then the time will come in the near future when you can maybe ask him, or drop hints, to see if he feels the same. but now is just not the time... hang in there!

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