I will explain my story which is not too short.. I am 36 years old from Greece and I am in a romantic relationship with my first cousin the last 2 years.His mother was (she is not alive)my father's sister.
My family like all the families in Greece is too close with relatives but this cousin grew up in another country so we didn't grow up together.
I have always remembered myself in love with him.I met him only in summer and I was really happy to see him.From the age of 9 I started telling everyone that I love him and I will marry him one day.
At the age of 13 I kissed him.We were at my parents bedroom and he asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told him not but I love someone.when he asked me who I loved i told him that I love him and I kissed him.
After that In four years time he got married and he had a child.Then he came to Greece and we spent the summer together.We were crazy in love and we didn't care about anyone.He told me that he really loves me but we can't be together.I was so much in love with him.After 3 months he left back to his country and after a week I realised I was pregnant..
I was devastated.I called him and he told me to keep the baby.I was mad and scared.I told him that it was his fault and he should leave me alone.I was very young.17 years old,alone,with no money and any doctor to accept the abortion.My best friend helped me and we finally found a doctor who did the operation.
After that I was never the same person..Everything changed.I was broken in hundred pieces.I started blaming myself.I was thinking it was my fault.How did I let it happen.I was mad with me.He didn't try to reach me then until the next summer after the abortion when he came to Greece and he tried to find me but I avoided it.I avoid seeing him for 17 years.I spent 17 years of my life blaming myself for what happened.
I felt guilty to my parents eyes and I didn't feel ok with myself because I had sex with my first cousin.I was very young to control all these emotions and the result was to make it seem bigger than it was.If I had someone to advice me then I would not torture myself so much all these years concerning the guilts.
Almost 2 years before our favourite aunt my father's second sister died.I tried to do everything not to go to the funeral because I knew that I would see him.Unfortunately I couldn't avoid it and after 17 years I had to face it.
When I got off my father's car all the relatives were at the yard.The only person I saw was him.Everyone was like wasn't there.i couldn't see anyone,only him.Very strange.Like a movie.when you freeze the screen and no one moves.Only me and him.I approached him and I told him hello cousin we haven't seen each other for so many years and I feel sorry that we are meeting under these circumstances.He didn't speak.He couldn't say a word.He lost his voice.
We went to the funeral and then we went to my village.when we stayed alone he told me that he wants to talk about the past.I told him that i didn't remember anything from the past.He asked my nieces my Facebook account because I had a secret name and he couldn't find me and next he sent me a friend request.I didn't accept at first.The next day he was flying back to his country.He sent me messages all the time on messenger.He was telling me that he has always loved me.He had a shock when he saw me.He was thinking of me all these years.
The result is that we are in a romantic relationship now and I don't know what to do.in these 2 years he broke up with his wife.He has 3 children.He wants to live together.He wants to tell everyone the truth.He says that he can't handle to lose me for a second time because of fear.
I really know that my father will die if I told him.I am sure that he knows about the past.he never talked to me but I know.The only thing he told me was that I can't marry my first cousin.My cousin came to Greece for the summer now.he stays to my home.no one knows that.
yesterday another cousin got married and I called my father to tell him to go to the marriage with my female cousin and him.He got so mad.He told me why with him!you can come with us.Finally i decided to go to the marriage with my female cousin but something bad happened.When my cousin left my home he crashed with a taxi driver and his car is now broken.Fortunately he is ok and noone discovered the truth that he was in my home but i feel that my father knows the truth.In addition I realised that my father doesn't even want to hear that I will have a coffee with him!not to mention a romantic relationship.I am very scared.I don't know what to do.I am scared if anything bad happens with his health if he finds out about all these.I need your advice.I am very confused.
My description was very detailed,I am sorry if some of you got tired but I needed it so much.
Hello , I'm here of course because i have feelings for my cousin. I'm a 24yr old female and he is 26 yrs old , we are close though not as close as i'd like us to be. He is my grandma's sister's son by the way. I have had feelings for him off and on for years , and have had to deal with him having girlfriends and sex friends. He is currently single but had sex with some sex friend in february, and i'm always single. I haven't confessed my feelings to him because i feel there's no point , i know that if i confessed my feelings to him he would reject me. And i don't want to drive him away and make things weird and awkward between us. So i've sort of made up my mind that i should just give up on him and move on , and am now going through the stages of recovering from rejection. I've been seriously depressed since last month and i've been crying a lot. Before i was 95% sure he wasn't into me , now i'm 100% sure he isn't into me. Even if he doesnt find me to pretty/attractive i'm sure he sees me like a sister or like we are too closely related for something to be possible , there are many excuses your cousin could use for not being into you.
Anyway i've decided to put distance between us while i'm recovering and won't make any effort to contact him or hangout for the next few months. I decided not to contact him also because every time Its me doing it. If he wants to then this time he has to come forward , though i have no expectations he'd do so anyway. I don't think i can see him now without being depressed or crying. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep at night because of him and it seems like we were never meant to be and he's not worth me being into. Of course my feelings for him are more than just physical and there's more to him that i like but he seems to be a lost cause. I don't know if i believe him to be my soulmate but i think in my next lifetime things might be more likely to work out if we met. I'm tired of being obsessed with him and possessive , also i often get jealous of his friends for taking away his time to hangout with me. I often have dreams about him , and i touch myself sometimes when i do. I want to touch him almost everytime i see him and resisting my urges is unbearable , i have fallen asleep on his bed many times when i've been tired/sleepy and find his smell comforting but also a turn on. Also he is mostly into white girls and i'm black...
By the way , we are both not in school and we don't have jobs , and he drives but i don't and am in the middle of getting a license. He still lives with his parents and i live with my grandma and her other sister. He's a atheist and i'm a pagan , but we were raised in a christian family unfortunately so even if things did work out we would have to be very sneaky and secretive so the rest of the family wouldn't find out about us until we had money to get our own place. In a good month usually we would be able to hangout at his house and me and him would talk , maybe watch stuff or play videos games together in his room. We spend some holidays together , like halloween , thanksgiving sometimes and Xmas . We even spend our birthdays together since our birthdays are only a few days apart and since mine comes before his i usually get to do whatever i want when we hang out on my birthday. We have had sleepovers before as well , but not often and i usually have to go sleep in his mom's room .
It's not like i just met him a few years ago either , we have known each other since we were kids and used to play together and i have seen him many times at family reunions , back then i didn't have feelings for him of course . It was only after i moved to where he lives that i got closer to him and got to know him well. I feel like we really understand each other but i want to understand him more and for him to understand me more but he won't open up more to me. I feel like i can talk to him about almost anything and i've never had feelings for any other person like what i have for him , he is the only family member i actually see as family as well but i want to be more than family. I think even if he was my older brother i would still have feelings for him , sometimes i even see him as a older brother.
We are both scorpios , and i would have done things with him that i wouldn't even do with most guys but it seems he missed his chance now. The moves i have made have been many things , like posing a certain way on his bed and showing him my butt when i bent down to grab something . Wearing shirts that show my cleavage and hugging with and without a bra on and my boobs would often be on him when we hug and etc. Asking him about kissing and sexual things sometimes , like at the boardwalk i let him have the cherry from my virgin pina colada at the bar and i asked him about if he could do the cherry thing with his tongue. Us being at that bar at the boardwalk was the most confusing thing to happen recently. And this was after we had eaten pizza and we were making a lot of eye contact , though i'm sure he didn't catch on to what my eye contact meant. Anyway, at the bar i might have been imagining it but i think he was looking at my mouth . I don't know if i had something on my mouth or in my teeth but i was hoping he wanted to kiss me.He also walked in on me in the bathroom once which i am still confused about.
I've made many signs and signals that i was into him and he has been dense/oblivious and without a clue for years , or he knew and is choosing to ignore it. He would rather be into prettier women than be with me. When i revealed i had a incest fetish to him months ago he told me he had a cousin crush on some cousin i don't even know and he said she was very pretty. Last month , we went to the boardwalk together and when i asked him if he would hold my hand he pushed me away. He even told the guy at the stuffed animal game stand that we were cousins. And when i emailed him recently about how i wanted to be closer to him , he pushed me away again by saying he doesn't want to burden ppl by telling them his business.
When i revealed i had a incest fetish to him he said , "that's pretty neat, and quite common as well. I mean.. What do folks expect when you see family first compared to making friends as kids. Not like they talk to you about that stuff till you're older either. I don't think you're really an adult unless you've had one experience like a cousin crush or experimentation at some point in your life. "
And then he said , "On a side note, I've had cousin crushes too. Though it helps that the cousin I had a crush on isn't technically even related to me. Either way they're definitely super common. It just comes down to exposure really."
When i asked which cousin he said , "And to answer your question, my cousin kanasia. She's very pretty. "
He usually doesn't contact me and it always looks like I am the only one who is making things happen and is thinking too much about him lately. But, I'm not going to initiate contact with him anymore, if he is thinking of me then this time I expect him to come make a move. Though i doubt he would miss me or he'd even feel bad. I don't know if he is ever happy to see me or if he ever misses me. Seems like he is not even interested because if he was he would have dropped some kind of a hint in all the years i've liked him.
Everything points to us never working out the way i want , we don't have the same definitions of what love is or want the same type of relationship from people. He's stuck on wanting what most people want , a traditional monogamous relationship. I don't want a traditional monogamous relationship and the type of relationship i want is either a open monogamous relationship , harem , non-monogamous, swingers , or poly. As far as marriage goes i was never a supporter of it , and i have a different view of it than most so marrying him is up in the air if it was even possible for us to be together. Even if things did work out between us , i don't want to be a left over/last resort for him and be someone he just settled for.
Hello everyone. Where to begin? I've been falling hard for my 2nd cousin. I'm 25, she's 20. I knew her when I was little, about 7. (She was 2) we played a few times as kids. So the next time I saw her since we were babies she was 10, me 15. I got to know her well, and back then I obviously didn't feel like this yet. We got close enough so I could tell she is an amazing person. As we got older, we would party together often. (Often being 3-4 times a year) It wasn't until she was about 16, me 20, that I started to have a little cousin crush. I dismissed it as most would. She would somewhat flirt with me (partly her bubbly personality) Even times where she would casually sit on my lap or ask me to massage her feet. We've even taken a couple trips to California together recently. Just the two of us. However, I've heard her say something against incest before. She also currently has a boyfriend. I feel quite lost because I'm falling in Love with her so badly. It's not just a physical love because she's tremendously gorgeous, but also her mind is so charming. I would honestly die for her if it protected her. I seriously believe she is my soul mate, I would easily wait until my next lifetime for her.. but it eats at me so badd. ? I have no idea. Especially coming home from our trip last weekend, I just felt so depressed as our trip came to an end. Luckily we made plans to go canoeing in a few weeks so I can spend more time with her ?
I guess I'm posting here because I'm confused if she really could love me. If I did confess my heart, what's the best way?
Also, I would love to hear input from others who have stories about confessing their feelings to their cousin.
I am nervous to share my story but I need to now with people who understand.
My older first cousin (he is 38 and I am 33) who I was very good friends with for about 9 years before the below, asked me to take a trip with him 5.5 years ago. I had been looking after my Dad who was recovering from Cancer, so now that he was improving, I welcomed the break. My cousin lives and works in another State and always has.
My cousin was always very protective with me and I really liked our relationship. The first morning of the trip, he came on to me in bed and I was in complete shock. I loved him and thought that if he was doing this, it must be okay. Sounds naive, I know. The next day he did it again and we ended up being intimate. I was really confused and in shock I think. I still am, 5.5 years later.
This continued and we developed feelings for each other, however he initiated everything. He mentioned getting married and wanted us to have kids, etc. We went on another trip and he told me that he wanted to take a chance on us and to trust him. He said he’d never hurt me...
I trusted him and cared a lot about him. I knew he had a drinking problem but I was used to that as my Dad drank a lot. Not a good thing, I know. We continued our trips and love affair but his exes would always text him and I didn’t like it. I wanted to focus on the future, not the past. He said he couldn’t control it and it continued. I also saw a text conversation between him and a girl in his phone with “xoxo” but I didn’t know what it was and never said anything.
I always knew he was a “ladies man” but I thought it would be different as we were so close and cousins. I was always his rock and he always called me whenever anything important happened. He got mad at me on a trip because I spoke to his brother on the phone when he didn’t want me to. They never really got along well. He thought I might be pregnant this whole trip even though I said I wasn’t. We went to get a test and it was negative. He was very mad and slept on the couch and almost flew home early. He never would explain why he got so mad, but after that, everything blew up. He literally dropped me off at a hotel by myself to catch a flight back home the next day. I was crushed and very angry.
For the next 5 years, he would call and text constantly when he wanted and then disappear again. He was never there when I needed him. Not once. He was drinking and partying with women he meets online and had no time for me anymore. I still had feelings and he would act romantic with me and then disappear again and again.
In March of 2017, we saw each other for the last time and it was actually a nice trip. Things improved for a while after and then he got distant again and I figured there was someone else. At the end of the month, I had a pregnancy scare. He was psychotic over it and when I said I wasn’t and sent him a picture of the test, he was very angry. Then he disappeared again.
It turns out, in early April 2017, he slept with a woman he met online and a few months later, she told him she was pregnant. He was still calling me all this time and would call up to 50+ times if I didn’t answer.
The baby is now born and they aren’t together. It broke my heart that he impregnated someone right after we were together. He called me a couple weeks ago several times when the baby was born and was saying how awful the situation is for him and how sorry he was for hurting me. He was drunk of course.
I am now an emotional mess and isolate myself a lot as I am heart broken that my friend and cousin treated me like a disposable doll. I really did love him and it felt very right, which we both said.
He ended up telling his brother about us because his brother asked he said. I have only ever told one friend he is my cousin. My Mom once asked if we were dating but I just ignored it.
I have been having suicidal thoughts for a few years now and have been working with a therapist about it. I am now on antidepressants and have changed a lot. I feel that if he can do this to me, anyone can, so I am exhausted trying to heal.
Did I make a mistake other than being a naive young woman (28 when it began)? I think he was wrong to mislead me for sex all these years. I am his little cousin after all .
Thank you for reading this.
I need advice ! Me and my 2nd cousin are in love with each other and lately we haven't been using protection and im 2 days late on my period what do i do ? And also my family is against us from being with each other but we arent gonna let them stop! Please help !