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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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iloveadventures010213

Dilemma with my cousin.

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I just need to help with how to figure out what to do with my cousin and I. I’m 22 and she’s a few years older, 28? I’m also a female. When i was still younger, 15, something had happened between me and her, one night i just felt her trying to be so affectionate because we had to share the room because everything else was occupied and i was only in the country for family vacation and i haven’t seen her in 5 years back then and not too long after that, she kissed me and we started making out every time we were together at night. Before i left, i’ve never felt so confused with how i felt towards her, i wasn’t sure if i was in love. So i tried to distance myself since then (2011) and i tried to not talk to her over social media’s because i didn’t want to be confused and get hurt because she was also in a relationship with a guy. Now, after 6 years (2017), I went back home to my home country to attend her marriage and i was so sure that i was fine with talking to her again and bonding with her, because i know i was over it and i just want to get along but i suddenly felt so attached to her again and i was happy being around her but at the same time hurt because she got married. One night, I was with her and we were driving back to her place, we talked about what happened to us back in 2011, she just doesn’t know how to explain why she let things happen. Until we got to her condo, it was only the two of us, she kept bugging me about who i was seeing and wanting to see a picture but it seems like she was throwing her whole body at me until our faces was against each other and we kissed once again and we ended up being intimate with each other that night and the following morning. We didn’t see it coming, it just happened. Her husband had to go back abroad and he actually lives few hours away from me and my family and he had left her for work again a couple of days before me and her got together. So from that day on until my last day of my vacation, she was such a tease, she would run her hand on my waist or my face or she would always look at me in the eyes, and we wouldn’t be talking as much around family but when we’re alone, were different. I’m sure that i feel something towards her but it’s wrong because she’s also married but she also told me she has a girlfriend which is her bestfriend, she keeps it very discreet. She only opened it up to me. My last night, we ended up being intimate again and i just straight up don’t know what to do anymore. I felt so sad that day when i left the country. When i got home, i just kept messaging her until today, I decided to tell her how i felt and she just left me on seen/read. I don’t know if it was wrong for me to confess how i felt about her, at the same time i’m glad i got it over with, i don’t know what to do please help. She just opened my messages and haven’t replied and she’s been online and idk what she’s trying to do and i don’t want to chase her over this. 

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So, your cousin is married, and has a secret girlfriend, and sometimes the two of you are intimate as well. Sounds like a recipe for drama and trouble to me. The bottom line for you is that she is married, and you need to respect that even if she doesn't. Sounds like you need to keep yourself out of any situation with her in which things "just happen". 

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