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Why is my 1st cousin avoiding me?

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If anyone can answer me this I'd very much appreciate it. 
My first cousin and I were very close back in our younger years. We would hang around many times and have lots of fun going out to clubs etc.. One time, when I was 20 and he was 19 (he's one year younger) he came on to me. He was inexperienced at the time and was holding in I guess his feelings for too long so he must have lost control of his hormones. I admit I panicked and pushed him away. He didn't say anything. I remember his face after rejecting him-he seemed disappointed and embarrased. We just carried on from that day as if nothing happened though.
Nevertheless, when one day I decided to move to Canada, he never came to see me at the airport as he had promised so. Three years later, when he found out I was getting married and saw a photo of the man who I was going to marry, he called me at work to tell me what the hell was I doing with this man and that I was making a mistake. I called my aunt (his mother) and asked her why did he do this? and she told me ''because your cousin loves you honey''...:o I was stunned hearing this and confused not knwoing what my aunt really meant. Was she telling me that my cousin loves me as his cousin or was it something else?..In any case, it turned out he was right.
The man I married was a monster..So years passed being unhappy though I'd still talk with my cousin once in a while over the phone. Then I met my second husband or second nightmare that is.
I remember when my cousin called me again after seeing me in a photo with my 3 year old daughter to tell me how good and beautiful I still looked but I still thought he was just being nice and all. After my second divorce, I reunited with him. We hadnt seen each other for nearly 20 years altogether.
He was excited to see me and he would come and sleep on my aunt's uncomfotable couch even though he had a very nice place of his own. One day his girlfriend showed up and she'd be all over him but he would not touch her (at least in front of me). Few days later we had our first argument and I was shocked to hear him say that I made a big mistake moving to another country and about marrying the men I did..I was hurt but he was so right...
Later, I tried putting all the pieces together wondering if my cousin was in love with me and simply cared for me deeply. I was quite prudish at the time and taboos were still an issue. After our arguement, we stopped seeing each other and we met again three years later at my uncle's funeral (his father). I walked into the church to see him wearing black shades standing alone in a corner.
I went to him and just hugged him cautiously feeling unsure about his response. Ill never forget how tight he held me, as if he needed to feel my body next to his. At least, that was my interprentation. After the funeral, we all met at my aunt's house for coffee and he was avoiding me most of the time. Only when I got up to leave my cup at the sink, he told me 'take mine too'...
My aunt reassured me he is holding no grudges against me and she has been telling me many times to just go and visit him at his office. I did. He was warm with me. We talked. I noticed right away, that he was fidgeting and shaking his leg nervously. He asked how have I been doing and told him about my new job while also stupidly mentioning I was seeing a man though not in a serious relationship.I was thinking that we are grown people and he wouldn't judge me negatively about this. Surprisingly, our meeting was short and he wouldn't even treat me to a cup of coffee, something he always used to do! Upon leaving, he caressed lightly my cheek and gave me a soft hug. That was it.
He's been asking my aunt how am I doing but he has never called me once since then. Is it that I have disappointed him in some way? Why is he avoiding me so much?? Btw, he has never married neither does he have any children. He has had many relationships but never stayed faithful to any of the women he dated...Now more than ever, I think about him very intensely realising he must have loved me at a time..So sad..

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maybe he's just afraid of being rejected by you again in favor of someone else. if you want to pursue a relationship with this guy, this time it is going to be up to you to make sure he knows it. and that means no subtle hints... men don't get subtlety. you're going to have to open your mouth and say "will you go out with me?" you're going to have to be the one to kiss him first. you're going to have to be the one to take the lead. 

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