Jump to content
kielan

*IMPORTANT* CALLING OUT ALL FILIPINOS! *IMPORTANT*

Recommended Posts

2 hours ago, pooch said:

Ilang taon na po kayo ate? How about si cous-bf?

Pooch

Hello Pooch,

Lagi ko nababasa yung mga insights mo. 😊 i'm 28 turning 29 this month. Si cousin-bf naman 20 turning 21 this may. 1year graduate na sya and looking for a job. Halos mahigit half year din sya dito sa house namin kasi nagpromise yung father ko na tutulugan sya pero hindi naman ngyari. So he has to leave para makapagstart narin kami ng maayos ng samin.

Sorry napahaba reply ko. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

Hello Pooch,

Lagi ko nababasa yung mga insights mo. 😊 i'm 28 turning 29 this month. Si cousin-bf naman 20 turning 21 this may. 1year graduate na sya and looking for a job. Halos mahigit half year din sya dito sa house namin kasi nagpromise yung father ko na tutulugan sya pero hindi naman ngyari. So he has to leave para makapagstart narin kami ng maayos ng samin.

Sorry napahaba reply ko. 

Naku naku.... mahirap to te...

Marami akong nakikini-kinitang sticking points right on the spot.

1. Mas matanda pala ikaw kesa sa kanya. 8 years? Tas 28 ka? Naku... which brings me to point (2).

2. Gusto niyo magkababy (pero ahem..ahem..wala pa siyang trabaho at freshly grad pa lang)

3. "Marriage is just a paper"? Naku naku...di naman sa ano ah, pero sure ka ba jan?!

4. May issue sa father mo at sa kany.

5. Mahigit half a year siya sa inyo pero sa tunog ng post mo eh parang nababagalan ka sa pagusad ng relasyon. Which brings me to (6).

6. Yung "pagsubok", interpretasyon ko sa post mo eh yung AWAY ninyo -- which is di naman ako nasurpresa na. Medyo malaking isyu nga itong papasukin mo ate. 

 

To be continued....

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

That's why nung una medyo doubtful ako nung gusto nya ituloy yung relationship namin

Di sa nangdidiscourage ako ah...pero minsan kasi ate kelangang makinig sa instincts eh.. medyo maraming problema ang relasyong ito ate eh,... tingin mo?

21 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

most especially sa mga pamilya namin. 

Of course!!

21 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

. We we're trying to conceive as well pero hindi parin kami swerte.

There are times na I should keep my mouth shut pero sure ka ba dito ate? I know na you (both) want children. PERO kaya na ba ni cous-bf mo!? Kaya na ba niya talaga?

Tanungin kita ah kasi so far ang dating saken eh hindi pa. Hindi lang financially kundi feel ko eh kahit emotionally na rin. Tsaka hindi lang yun, tingin ko eh ikaw rin mismo eh hindi pa handa... kasi hindi pa kayo established ng maayos. Although tingin ko eh nasa sa inyo naman parehas ito, lalot higit kasi almost 30 ka na rin eh, nawa'y palarin na kayo both..and makaestablish na rin siya sa work.

 

22 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

We told a close friend, sabi nya she supports us but she is still hoping na maghihiwalay kami kasi hindi daw tama.

Err... its not because di-umano mali eh kundi tingin niya eh medyo di DAW kayo match ni cous-bf kaya siya may hope na maghiwalay kayo. 

Gano katagal na ba kayo mag-jowa ate? I reallty really hope for the best na maging strong kayo. 😊 Gabayan nawa kayo ng Maykapal.

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Curious ako:

Pang ilan ka na niyang gf and pangilan mo na siyang bf? I know ba siguro marami-rami na rin eh, no? 😅

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

Hello just wanna share my side of story and some concerns. 

If you file for marriage license and pinalabas nyo na 2nd or third cousin kayo malalaman parin ba yun? Even if you don't share the same last name? Magiging automatic give away ba yung names ng parents? Do you think hihingan ng family tree or something?

Now on to some issues:

Pag pinalabas niyo't nakalusot, tingin ko wala naman magiging problema. You dont share last name eh. Ang problema nga lang though is VOIDABLE ang marriage ninyo sa totoong buhay. Right from the start, hindi po inirerecognize ng family code of the philippines ang first cousin. Absoluto po yun ate.

Sooo...the risk is up to you po. Honestly, hindi ko po alam ang pananaw ninyo (at ni cous-bf) mo tungkol sa kahalagahan ng kasal ano pero kung ako kasi kung ikakasal lang din naman ako eh gagawin ko na ng tama -- papakasal ako sa ibang bansa kasi involved ang ESTADO gobyerno, legalidad niyo eh. Iba ang BIGAT pag sinabi mong kasal ka...

Pero since hindi pwede, feel ko naman eh nagaksaya lang kayo ng pera or ng effort ku g pinalabas ninyong 2nd or 3rd cousin kayo kasi FROM THE START pa lang eh VOIDABLE na ang marriage niyo. In other words, walang bisa po. The moment na magkabukingan, it is like AS IF hindi kayo kasal IN THE FIRST PLACE. Gets!?

Ngayon eto, kung magsasama naman po kayo, bakit pa ninyo kailangang magpakasal!? Eh pwede naman kayong magsama kahit hindi ikinakasal? Edi live-in po. Diba? Why enter into marriage? Medyo gugulo po kasi buhay ninyo diyan ate... yun lang naman ang concern ko sa reply ko.. 🤔

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello again pooch, 

Sorry late reply. Medyo busy ako this week dami inaasikaso. 😊 okay lang, open naman ako sa opionions. Actually nakahingi narin ako ng advice sa ibang close friends. Xmpre unang unang concern nila is yung age gap kasi malaki talaga. Something we cannot change kahit gustohin man namin. Then yung concern sa pagkakaroon ng baby. They said na wag madaliin kasi hindi pa talaga namin naeenjoy yung time na magkasama ng free. Kasi nga nakatira sya dito samin dati so puro stolen moments lang kami kapag lumalabas kami or kapag wala ang parents ko dito sa bahay. Aware din naman kami tungkol dun sa fertility issues ng babae in general na dapat magkaroon na ng anak before 30's. Tapos yung issue din sa work, ayun luckily nakahanap na sya ng work sa kanila. Dapat kasi noon pa sya may work pero kasi sapilitan sya dinala ng father ko dito sa bahay pinangakuan ng trabaho pero ginawang kasambahay. Sya din naman nagpush na gusto na umalis dito para makapagsimula narin kami ng amin. Concerned sya na pano namin gagastosan if ever mabuo si baby. Regarding sa kasal, ako lang talaga yung makulit jan. I mean alam ko naman na din yung technicalities na kahit anong gawin void talaga sya. Pero as you said iba parin nga yung bigat ng kasal kasi legal talaga kayo by law. It might sound na pinoprotect ko sya pero hindi. Sa totoo lang, kahit yung mga really close friends ko sinabi na ako yung may problem. In a way na gusto na nya magwork pero ako ayaw ko pa kasi aalis na sya di ko makakasama. So may pagkaselfish ako. Hahaha. 1 year na kami pooch and at the end of this month aalis ulit ako. Dati akong ofw now punta naman ako japan to study for 6 months. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

Xmpre unang unang concern nila is yung age gap kasi malaki talaga. 

Kung yung lalake mas matanda ng 8 years feel ko ok lang eh -- kaya lang ikaw yung mas matanda ng 8 years eh. Dun ako mas unsure.

14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

They said na wag madaliin 

Hanggat maaari. Pero the best time nga is now kung biology tatanungin mo. Hehe. 

Yung gastusin, di naman nawawala yan e. Steady yan e at nanjan naman talaga yan e kahit na ano pa gawin mo. Diba? So hindi gastusin ang punto ko. Mainly eh yung kahandaan ba niya na maging tatay ng mga magiging anak mo... alam mo yun?

14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

puro stolen moments

Not to sound crass pero ibang lebel ang stolen moments no?  Kasi [email protected] ang hot no!? (Hahaha!) Hey dont get me wrong a kasi aaminin ko, suuuper hot. Mahal mo na, ng hot pa! There I said it. Now you dont need to reply sa paragraph na ito kasi ako na nagsabi for you. Hahaha. patago eh... 😅

Now moving on...! Hahaha

As to kung dapat bang magkaanak before 30s, isa pa nga pala yun kasi sa cousin marriages, bagamat okay lang naman kahit 28, 29, increased chance of risk ng 5-7%;lang naman. In other words, ang isang babae na nanganak ng 23 years old with her cous-bf ay kaparehas lang ng babae na nanganak ng siya'y 40 years old wirh her unrelated husband when it comes to risk sa birth defect...

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

pero ginawang kasambahay.

Pero kaya nga kayo nagka-inlove-an eh! 🤭 o diba? 😉 so okay na yuuun!!

16 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

Dati akong ofw now punta naman ako japan to study for 6 months. 

What if postpone muna yung kasal ang antay aftwr 6 months?

Pooch

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Similar Content

    • By xxxuire
      Hello, CC. I've been in a relationship with my second cousin (or so that's how I was told we're related.) for almost two years now. While we're still young (between 18-25 years old), this is definitely the most loving,  healthy, balanced and caring relationship I've ever been in and she can say the same for herself (I'm a female and she's a MtF transgender. She's on estrogen and testosterone blockers and is infertile as a result). I believe with all my heart that she's the person I was meant to be with. Growing up, we were always told we were second cousins by our family members and when things started getting romantic, we were very relieved that second cousin marriages were legal in every state in the U.S, where we reside. We've both always loved the idea of getting married and having families of our own and when our relationship started to get a little bit more serious, we decided to do our own "homework" so to speak, just to make sure we had the legalities figured out. 

      Well, apparently, we didn't. Apparently your parent's cousin is your first-cousin-once-removed (1stCOR), not your second cousin. Which is fine, because 1stCOR marriages are legal in every state but 6. We'd statistically be in the clear, right? Wrong. Of course we had to reside in one of those 6 states (Washington). Not to mention, we can't even get married in a state where it's legal and then come back, as the state will consider the marriage void. Now, it's legal for us to be in a sexual/cohabiting relationship. Just no marriage. When I first read that, I first got angry and defensive. How the heck would the state even know? We don't do blood tests or anything so how would they even know? Then I found out when you apply for a marriage license both parties have to record their parent's first and last names on the application. Now, neither of our parents have the same last name, but my girlfriend's mom is my maternal grandmother's sister. They both have the same maiden names. Then my mind started racing and I got anxious, thinking "during the three day waiting period the state must do a background check where they check your family tree to make sure you're not related so if we apply for a marriage license we're gonna get denied and that'll be a whole other level of embarrassment and I can't deal with that."
      So now I'm in bed at almost midnight being drinking tea. I'm no longer angry and defensive, and I somewhat understand why the law is in place. It still just sucks and I'm super sad. I just want to marry my best friend. I wish I didn't look it up because at least I could claim ignorance, blame it on the terminology used by my family my entire life. I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess to just... get it out? Since I can't talk to my family about it (they know of the relationship but 95% of them are very unsupportive).
    • By Ben1
      This is my first post, sorry if I leave stuff out. I have liked my cousin for a few years now, I have no clue how she feels about me and I have no clue how to tell her I like her. We live in the same state, the state we live in, 1st cousin marriage is legal. I am about 3 years older than her. and we live about half an hour away and see each other about every other month.
    • By The Riddler
      Hey guys,
      Apologies if I make mistakes, very new here. I’m extremely happy that there is a community like this, in the world we live in.
       
      I need your opinion on my situation. 
      Off the bat, I’m in love with my first cousin and I’m sure she feels like same but I need to be 100% sure so that I can make a move becoz I intend to. 
       
      Background: 
      We are an affectionate family, we all hug and kiss.
      I’m 24 (m) and she’s 32(f) married with 2 children who I get along with well. She’s in a toxic marriage that won’t last much longer. 
      This sexual tension between us has been building over the last 2 years. 
      Whenever we see each other, we always sit next to each other and our legs touch etc for example she’ll always use my knee as support when she gets up IMO just to touch my leg. 
      We were recently under a blanket and I made a move to hold her hand but interlocked hand holding which she was okay with. I have hugged her from behind and she likes it. 
      When I hug her it’s always a bit longer plus my hands are around her waist and our legs always touch, we always give a bit more of a kiss than a usual peck. Not sure if I’m reading too much into it. 
      When she fixes my pants becoz they falling down she will let her hand run across my bum. 
      I often pass each other by and give a little shoulder rub or a hand glide on the back. 
       
      Im definitely more forward than she is but she has never seemed uncomfortable with the interactions and has initiated some herself. She regularly puts her feet under my legs.
      I think she might be holding back for the same reason i am. 
       
       
      What do you guys think and how should I make a move? I’ve already held her hand and now I’d like to French kiss her and cuddling. 
      Possibly make love if it can get to that. I love her a lot. 
       
       
      Kind regards, 
      The riddler 
    • By Iron man
      Plz answer me.....only INDIANS WILL UNDERSTAND AS MY ENGLISH IS NOT SO GOOD
       
      Hello... 
      I am a 23 year old hindu boy , from northern part of india... and I like my cousin sister (23 year)... I am writing "like" becoz i am confused whether I love her or not. 
      But she love me a lot... Deeply..... Since childhood...And wanted to marry me. 
      These things I came to knew from her elder sister.....Then her sister asked me that what is all this?? 
      We used to talk on phone on weekly basis from 4 or 5 year only AND we never make any physical relationship
      She is living in village and always busy with her household work....I want her to move from that place.... Join some classes.... Explore other things..... And may be she find someone better than me
      But I don't know how to tell these things to her. 
      Sometimes I felt guilty also......that....why I not cleared the things before.........we never propose to each other... But from past 1 year I started doubting that something is going out of the way
      Also she has no idea that how much it's danger for the offspring as well as it's illegal
      Now what I do... Because I want her happiness only.... 
      she is very nice girl as she used to support me in all my decision... That's why I didn't wanted to broke her heart.... I only want that she love someone else.... 
      If she wouldn't be my first cousin then surely I will marrey her
      Now u guys tell what I do.... Should I have to marry her??  Or maybe she will understand with time
       
×
×
  • Create New...