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*IMPORTANT* CALLING OUT ALL FILIPINOS! *IMPORTANT*

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2 hours ago, pooch said:

Ilang taon na po kayo ate? How about si cous-bf?

Pooch

Hello Pooch,

Lagi ko nababasa yung mga insights mo. 😊 i'm 28 turning 29 this month. Si cousin-bf naman 20 turning 21 this may. 1year graduate na sya and looking for a job. Halos mahigit half year din sya dito sa house namin kasi nagpromise yung father ko na tutulugan sya pero hindi naman ngyari. So he has to leave para makapagstart narin kami ng maayos ng samin.

Sorry napahaba reply ko. 

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16 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

Hello Pooch,

Lagi ko nababasa yung mga insights mo. 😊 i'm 28 turning 29 this month. Si cousin-bf naman 20 turning 21 this may. 1year graduate na sya and looking for a job. Halos mahigit half year din sya dito sa house namin kasi nagpromise yung father ko na tutulugan sya pero hindi naman ngyari. So he has to leave para makapagstart narin kami ng maayos ng samin.

Sorry napahaba reply ko. 

Naku naku.... mahirap to te...

Marami akong nakikini-kinitang sticking points right on the spot.

1. Mas matanda pala ikaw kesa sa kanya. 8 years? Tas 28 ka? Naku... which brings me to point (2).

2. Gusto niyo magkababy (pero ahem..ahem..wala pa siyang trabaho at freshly grad pa lang)

3. "Marriage is just a paper"? Naku naku...di naman sa ano ah, pero sure ka ba jan?!

4. May issue sa father mo at sa kany.

5. Mahigit half a year siya sa inyo pero sa tunog ng post mo eh parang nababagalan ka sa pagusad ng relasyon. Which brings me to (6).

6. Yung "pagsubok", interpretasyon ko sa post mo eh yung AWAY ninyo -- which is di naman ako nasurpresa na. Medyo malaking isyu nga itong papasukin mo ate. 

 

To be continued....

 

Pooch

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21 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

That's why nung una medyo doubtful ako nung gusto nya ituloy yung relationship namin

Di sa nangdidiscourage ako ah...pero minsan kasi ate kelangang makinig sa instincts eh.. medyo maraming problema ang relasyong ito ate eh,... tingin mo?

21 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

most especially sa mga pamilya namin. 

Of course!!

21 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

. We we're trying to conceive as well pero hindi parin kami swerte.

There are times na I should keep my mouth shut pero sure ka ba dito ate? I know na you (both) want children. PERO kaya na ba ni cous-bf mo!? Kaya na ba niya talaga?

Tanungin kita ah kasi so far ang dating saken eh hindi pa. Hindi lang financially kundi feel ko eh kahit emotionally na rin. Tsaka hindi lang yun, tingin ko eh ikaw rin mismo eh hindi pa handa... kasi hindi pa kayo established ng maayos. Although tingin ko eh nasa sa inyo naman parehas ito, lalot higit kasi almost 30 ka na rin eh, nawa'y palarin na kayo both..and makaestablish na rin siya sa work.

 

22 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

We told a close friend, sabi nya she supports us but she is still hoping na maghihiwalay kami kasi hindi daw tama.

Err... its not because di-umano mali eh kundi tingin niya eh medyo di DAW kayo match ni cous-bf kaya siya may hope na maghiwalay kayo. 

Gano katagal na ba kayo mag-jowa ate? I reallty really hope for the best na maging strong kayo. 😊 Gabayan nawa kayo ng Maykapal.

 

Pooch

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Curious ako:

Pang ilan ka na niyang gf and pangilan mo na siyang bf? I know ba siguro marami-rami na rin eh, no? 😅

 

Pooch

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22 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

Hello just wanna share my side of story and some concerns. 

If you file for marriage license and pinalabas nyo na 2nd or third cousin kayo malalaman parin ba yun? Even if you don't share the same last name? Magiging automatic give away ba yung names ng parents? Do you think hihingan ng family tree or something?

Now on to some issues:

Pag pinalabas niyo't nakalusot, tingin ko wala naman magiging problema. You dont share last name eh. Ang problema nga lang though is VOIDABLE ang marriage ninyo sa totoong buhay. Right from the start, hindi po inirerecognize ng family code of the philippines ang first cousin. Absoluto po yun ate.

Sooo...the risk is up to you po. Honestly, hindi ko po alam ang pananaw ninyo (at ni cous-bf) mo tungkol sa kahalagahan ng kasal ano pero kung ako kasi kung ikakasal lang din naman ako eh gagawin ko na ng tama -- papakasal ako sa ibang bansa kasi involved ang ESTADO gobyerno, legalidad niyo eh. Iba ang BIGAT pag sinabi mong kasal ka...

Pero since hindi pwede, feel ko naman eh nagaksaya lang kayo ng pera or ng effort ku g pinalabas ninyong 2nd or 3rd cousin kayo kasi FROM THE START pa lang eh VOIDABLE na ang marriage niyo. In other words, walang bisa po. The moment na magkabukingan, it is like AS IF hindi kayo kasal IN THE FIRST PLACE. Gets!?

Ngayon eto, kung magsasama naman po kayo, bakit pa ninyo kailangang magpakasal!? Eh pwede naman kayong magsama kahit hindi ikinakasal? Edi live-in po. Diba? Why enter into marriage? Medyo gugulo po kasi buhay ninyo diyan ate... yun lang naman ang concern ko sa reply ko.. 🤔

 

Pooch

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Hello again pooch, 

Sorry late reply. Medyo busy ako this week dami inaasikaso. 😊 okay lang, open naman ako sa opionions. Actually nakahingi narin ako ng advice sa ibang close friends. Xmpre unang unang concern nila is yung age gap kasi malaki talaga. Something we cannot change kahit gustohin man namin. Then yung concern sa pagkakaroon ng baby. They said na wag madaliin kasi hindi pa talaga namin naeenjoy yung time na magkasama ng free. Kasi nga nakatira sya dito samin dati so puro stolen moments lang kami kapag lumalabas kami or kapag wala ang parents ko dito sa bahay. Aware din naman kami tungkol dun sa fertility issues ng babae in general na dapat magkaroon na ng anak before 30's. Tapos yung issue din sa work, ayun luckily nakahanap na sya ng work sa kanila. Dapat kasi noon pa sya may work pero kasi sapilitan sya dinala ng father ko dito sa bahay pinangakuan ng trabaho pero ginawang kasambahay. Sya din naman nagpush na gusto na umalis dito para makapagsimula narin kami ng amin. Concerned sya na pano namin gagastosan if ever mabuo si baby. Regarding sa kasal, ako lang talaga yung makulit jan. I mean alam ko naman na din yung technicalities na kahit anong gawin void talaga sya. Pero as you said iba parin nga yung bigat ng kasal kasi legal talaga kayo by law. It might sound na pinoprotect ko sya pero hindi. Sa totoo lang, kahit yung mga really close friends ko sinabi na ako yung may problem. In a way na gusto na nya magwork pero ako ayaw ko pa kasi aalis na sya di ko makakasama. So may pagkaselfish ako. Hahaha. 1 year na kami pooch and at the end of this month aalis ulit ako. Dati akong ofw now punta naman ako japan to study for 6 months. 

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14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

Xmpre unang unang concern nila is yung age gap kasi malaki talaga. 

Kung yung lalake mas matanda ng 8 years feel ko ok lang eh -- kaya lang ikaw yung mas matanda ng 8 years eh. Dun ako mas unsure.

14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

They said na wag madaliin 

Hanggat maaari. Pero the best time nga is now kung biology tatanungin mo. Hehe. 

Yung gastusin, di naman nawawala yan e. Steady yan e at nanjan naman talaga yan e kahit na ano pa gawin mo. Diba? So hindi gastusin ang punto ko. Mainly eh yung kahandaan ba niya na maging tatay ng mga magiging anak mo... alam mo yun?

14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

puro stolen moments

Not to sound crass pero ibang lebel ang stolen moments no?  Kasi [email protected] ang hot no!? (Hahaha!) Hey dont get me wrong a kasi aaminin ko, suuuper hot. Mahal mo na, ng hot pa! There I said it. Now you dont need to reply sa paragraph na ito kasi ako na nagsabi for you. Hahaha. patago eh... 😅

Now moving on...! Hahaha

As to kung dapat bang magkaanak before 30s, isa pa nga pala yun kasi sa cousin marriages, bagamat okay lang naman kahit 28, 29, increased chance of risk ng 5-7%;lang naman. In other words, ang isang babae na nanganak ng 23 years old with her cous-bf ay kaparehas lang ng babae na nanganak ng siya'y 40 years old wirh her unrelated husband when it comes to risk sa birth defect...

 

 

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14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

pero ginawang kasambahay.

Pero kaya nga kayo nagka-inlove-an eh! 🤭 o diba? 😉 so okay na yuuun!!

16 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

Dati akong ofw now punta naman ako japan to study for 6 months. 

What if postpone muna yung kasal ang antay aftwr 6 months?

Pooch

 

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