Jump to content
kielan

*IMPORTANT* CALLING OUT ALL FILIPINOS! *IMPORTANT*

Recommended Posts

2 hours ago, pooch said:

Ilang taon na po kayo ate? How about si cous-bf?

Pooch

Hello Pooch,

Lagi ko nababasa yung mga insights mo. 😊 i'm 28 turning 29 this month. Si cousin-bf naman 20 turning 21 this may. 1year graduate na sya and looking for a job. Halos mahigit half year din sya dito sa house namin kasi nagpromise yung father ko na tutulugan sya pero hindi naman ngyari. So he has to leave para makapagstart narin kami ng maayos ng samin.

Sorry napahaba reply ko. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

Hello Pooch,

Lagi ko nababasa yung mga insights mo. 😊 i'm 28 turning 29 this month. Si cousin-bf naman 20 turning 21 this may. 1year graduate na sya and looking for a job. Halos mahigit half year din sya dito sa house namin kasi nagpromise yung father ko na tutulugan sya pero hindi naman ngyari. So he has to leave para makapagstart narin kami ng maayos ng samin.

Sorry napahaba reply ko. 

Naku naku.... mahirap to te...

Marami akong nakikini-kinitang sticking points right on the spot.

1. Mas matanda pala ikaw kesa sa kanya. 8 years? Tas 28 ka? Naku... which brings me to point (2).

2. Gusto niyo magkababy (pero ahem..ahem..wala pa siyang trabaho at freshly grad pa lang)

3. "Marriage is just a paper"? Naku naku...di naman sa ano ah, pero sure ka ba jan?!

4. May issue sa father mo at sa kany.

5. Mahigit half a year siya sa inyo pero sa tunog ng post mo eh parang nababagalan ka sa pagusad ng relasyon. Which brings me to (6).

6. Yung "pagsubok", interpretasyon ko sa post mo eh yung AWAY ninyo -- which is di naman ako nasurpresa na. Medyo malaking isyu nga itong papasukin mo ate. 

 

To be continued....

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

That's why nung una medyo doubtful ako nung gusto nya ituloy yung relationship namin

Di sa nangdidiscourage ako ah...pero minsan kasi ate kelangang makinig sa instincts eh.. medyo maraming problema ang relasyong ito ate eh,... tingin mo?

21 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

most especially sa mga pamilya namin. 

Of course!!

21 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

. We we're trying to conceive as well pero hindi parin kami swerte.

There are times na I should keep my mouth shut pero sure ka ba dito ate? I know na you (both) want children. PERO kaya na ba ni cous-bf mo!? Kaya na ba niya talaga?

Tanungin kita ah kasi so far ang dating saken eh hindi pa. Hindi lang financially kundi feel ko eh kahit emotionally na rin. Tsaka hindi lang yun, tingin ko eh ikaw rin mismo eh hindi pa handa... kasi hindi pa kayo established ng maayos. Although tingin ko eh nasa sa inyo naman parehas ito, lalot higit kasi almost 30 ka na rin eh, nawa'y palarin na kayo both..and makaestablish na rin siya sa work.

 

22 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

We told a close friend, sabi nya she supports us but she is still hoping na maghihiwalay kami kasi hindi daw tama.

Err... its not because di-umano mali eh kundi tingin niya eh medyo di DAW kayo match ni cous-bf kaya siya may hope na maghiwalay kayo. 

Gano katagal na ba kayo mag-jowa ate? I reallty really hope for the best na maging strong kayo. 😊 Gabayan nawa kayo ng Maykapal.

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Curious ako:

Pang ilan ka na niyang gf and pangilan mo na siyang bf? I know ba siguro marami-rami na rin eh, no? 😅

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, Guest RockieMidori said:

Hello just wanna share my side of story and some concerns. 

If you file for marriage license and pinalabas nyo na 2nd or third cousin kayo malalaman parin ba yun? Even if you don't share the same last name? Magiging automatic give away ba yung names ng parents? Do you think hihingan ng family tree or something?

Now on to some issues:

Pag pinalabas niyo't nakalusot, tingin ko wala naman magiging problema. You dont share last name eh. Ang problema nga lang though is VOIDABLE ang marriage ninyo sa totoong buhay. Right from the start, hindi po inirerecognize ng family code of the philippines ang first cousin. Absoluto po yun ate.

Sooo...the risk is up to you po. Honestly, hindi ko po alam ang pananaw ninyo (at ni cous-bf) mo tungkol sa kahalagahan ng kasal ano pero kung ako kasi kung ikakasal lang din naman ako eh gagawin ko na ng tama -- papakasal ako sa ibang bansa kasi involved ang ESTADO gobyerno, legalidad niyo eh. Iba ang BIGAT pag sinabi mong kasal ka...

Pero since hindi pwede, feel ko naman eh nagaksaya lang kayo ng pera or ng effort ku g pinalabas ninyong 2nd or 3rd cousin kayo kasi FROM THE START pa lang eh VOIDABLE na ang marriage niyo. In other words, walang bisa po. The moment na magkabukingan, it is like AS IF hindi kayo kasal IN THE FIRST PLACE. Gets!?

Ngayon eto, kung magsasama naman po kayo, bakit pa ninyo kailangang magpakasal!? Eh pwede naman kayong magsama kahit hindi ikinakasal? Edi live-in po. Diba? Why enter into marriage? Medyo gugulo po kasi buhay ninyo diyan ate... yun lang naman ang concern ko sa reply ko.. 🤔

 

Pooch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello again pooch, 

Sorry late reply. Medyo busy ako this week dami inaasikaso. 😊 okay lang, open naman ako sa opionions. Actually nakahingi narin ako ng advice sa ibang close friends. Xmpre unang unang concern nila is yung age gap kasi malaki talaga. Something we cannot change kahit gustohin man namin. Then yung concern sa pagkakaroon ng baby. They said na wag madaliin kasi hindi pa talaga namin naeenjoy yung time na magkasama ng free. Kasi nga nakatira sya dito samin dati so puro stolen moments lang kami kapag lumalabas kami or kapag wala ang parents ko dito sa bahay. Aware din naman kami tungkol dun sa fertility issues ng babae in general na dapat magkaroon na ng anak before 30's. Tapos yung issue din sa work, ayun luckily nakahanap na sya ng work sa kanila. Dapat kasi noon pa sya may work pero kasi sapilitan sya dinala ng father ko dito sa bahay pinangakuan ng trabaho pero ginawang kasambahay. Sya din naman nagpush na gusto na umalis dito para makapagsimula narin kami ng amin. Concerned sya na pano namin gagastosan if ever mabuo si baby. Regarding sa kasal, ako lang talaga yung makulit jan. I mean alam ko naman na din yung technicalities na kahit anong gawin void talaga sya. Pero as you said iba parin nga yung bigat ng kasal kasi legal talaga kayo by law. It might sound na pinoprotect ko sya pero hindi. Sa totoo lang, kahit yung mga really close friends ko sinabi na ako yung may problem. In a way na gusto na nya magwork pero ako ayaw ko pa kasi aalis na sya di ko makakasama. So may pagkaselfish ako. Hahaha. 1 year na kami pooch and at the end of this month aalis ulit ako. Dati akong ofw now punta naman ako japan to study for 6 months. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

Xmpre unang unang concern nila is yung age gap kasi malaki talaga. 

Kung yung lalake mas matanda ng 8 years feel ko ok lang eh -- kaya lang ikaw yung mas matanda ng 8 years eh. Dun ako mas unsure.

14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

They said na wag madaliin 

Hanggat maaari. Pero the best time nga is now kung biology tatanungin mo. Hehe. 

Yung gastusin, di naman nawawala yan e. Steady yan e at nanjan naman talaga yan e kahit na ano pa gawin mo. Diba? So hindi gastusin ang punto ko. Mainly eh yung kahandaan ba niya na maging tatay ng mga magiging anak mo... alam mo yun?

14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

puro stolen moments

Not to sound crass pero ibang lebel ang stolen moments no?  Kasi [email protected] ang hot no!? (Hahaha!) Hey dont get me wrong a kasi aaminin ko, suuuper hot. Mahal mo na, ng hot pa! There I said it. Now you dont need to reply sa paragraph na ito kasi ako na nagsabi for you. Hahaha. patago eh... 😅

Now moving on...! Hahaha

As to kung dapat bang magkaanak before 30s, isa pa nga pala yun kasi sa cousin marriages, bagamat okay lang naman kahit 28, 29, increased chance of risk ng 5-7%;lang naman. In other words, ang isang babae na nanganak ng 23 years old with her cous-bf ay kaparehas lang ng babae na nanganak ng siya'y 40 years old wirh her unrelated husband when it comes to risk sa birth defect...

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

pero ginawang kasambahay.

Pero kaya nga kayo nagka-inlove-an eh! 🤭 o diba? 😉 so okay na yuuun!!

16 hours ago, RockieMidori said:

Dati akong ofw now punta naman ako japan to study for 6 months. 

What if postpone muna yung kasal ang antay aftwr 6 months?

Pooch

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By mohammed.hussain
      i am 22 years old and am studying medicine at imperial college london. i have a cousin who is studying dentistry in london as well she is 21 and is extremely hot and kind and caring and generous and smart. we are first cousins and our fathers are brothers, however they dont have a good relationship. i first started getting these feelings when i was 17 and we were both studying our a levels in the same subjects so we grew closer as we spent a lot of time together. over time i fell in love with her and think the world of her. the only thing i wish for is to get married to this girl and have children with her. she and my mother spend a lot of time together and are really good friends who get along with each other. my father also gets on well with her, so my parents would approve of her. i dont know what to do, from what i have witnessed i think she is interested in me too and is attracted to me but im not 100% sure. we text and as we both live in london in student accomodation she texts me and asks if i want to pop over to her place and spend some time together so i visit her regularly and she loves spending time with me, i make her laugh and we talk for hours on end, sometimes we would just talk for 4 or 5 hours straight. we both get on with each other and are perfect for each other. however there is a lot of dispute going on between our families over land in pakistan. however this hasnt affected our relationship and my cousin still gets on perfectly fine with my family. i havent told anyone yet and dont know what to do. should i wait until the dispute is over and tell her and my parents? or should i persue a private relationship with her now? i dont know what to do. help me.
    • By Nokia
      So my first cousin and I didn't grow up together but over the years we've built a relationship through letters he's in prison right now I've always felt like he started with me but I've never really been sure. He would ask me to send him pictures before he went to prison via cell phone, he was married then so I didn't think much of it I just figured because we hadn't seen each other in a while that he wanted to have a picture of me. I didn't feel the same way at first but I flirted with the idea because of the way that he made me feel I didn't feel like anything was wrong with it I honestly and I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of thinking of him sexually. I know for a fact that our family would not approve but lately he's been writing me letters and he always calls me gorgeous and he always tells me I'm beautiful and he wrote me in my last letter about the way my shirt showed my physique and that it was enticing. I don't want to confuse him being incarcerated with him having feeling because I know sometimes people say anything behind bars especially men who haven't seen women in a while but I can say that I felt him flirting with me before this the feelings have just seem to get deeper since we've been writing each other more. I want to express myself because it's killing me to know that someone that I have these feelings for I might not be able to be with but if I feel like he feels the same I wouldn't have a problem expressing myself I'm just not sure so I'm asking in regards to what I should do on my end with my feelings in the situation. I genuinely love him so even if he was repulsed with the idea I wouldn't just leave his side while he's going through this part of his life I genuinely was helping because I wanted to help a family member and I didn't expect to feel the way that I do. It feels impossible that I'm the only one that has these feelings and it's not perverted. I just understand him and I know he understands me please help me
    • By anongirl
      So I'm currently in a relationship with my first cousin and he lives overseas I'm 19 and he's 21 and we've been seeing each other for about 9 months now and since them i've been able to seem him twice for two months and he's coming to see me in a few months again. I love him so so much and I've never felt this way about anyone in my life and I've finally gotten to the point where I know I want to be with him and I want to make it work so yesterday I decided to talk to my friend about it and I told her how I felt about him and if she'd support me with my decision to be with him but she kept telling me it was wrong to be with him and that I'd meet other guys and fall in love and that I'm still young and should wait until i'm like 28 to see if I still have feelings for him, but she wouldn't listen to how I feel about him, I've been through so much and dated so many different guys and it's so different to how I am with him. He sees who I really am and we've grown so close and know so much about each other. I can't even imagine being with anyone else in the future and I've thought about the consequences of being with him and people not accepting it and I deal with it everyday, I deal with my own family not accepting it everyday and still I want to be with him. What really hurt me is that she said I wouldn't be able to live here because people wouldn't accept it and that I'd have to live with him in his country but it's completely legal in both our countries. She told me it was my decision in the end and that she'd still support me no matter my decision but it doesn't feel that way. It just feels like it's so hard for me because I have no one to support me and my cousin isn't afraid to tell everyone that he's in a relationship with his cousin because people aren't as weird about it there and he has his mother and his family over there that support him as well as his friends but I don't have anyone. A lot of people at work know I have a boyfriend but just don't know he's my cousin and I know that it hurts him that I don't tell everyone we're cousins but I know that they're going to treat me differently and I've already faced so many obstacles living in Australia. 
    • By NervouslyAnxious
      Having casual sex with cousin, now I think I'm in love with him. Afraid to tell him because we both hate ourselves for being attracted to one another. Don't want to lose him.
    • By Jordan Colbert
      Our story started roughly 2 years ago when my cousin confessed she had feelings for me. At the time she said this is wrong and we should not be doing this. But we continued developing our relationship anyway. We planned of our lives together after marriage, babies, places to visit, things to do and so on. We lived a happy life. Now after two years of constant back and forth of; this is wrong we should not be doing it and it’s ok let’s go ahead with it, she wants to end the relationship but isn’t doing it, just putting a halt to the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect and just wants to be friends. She says, “I should have been the adult in the room. I don’t want to continue doing wrong.” She feels that when we inform our family about our intentions we will end up creating a huge and permanent split in our family. We will be the reason for our family to break apart. People will hate us. Previously at the beginning of our relationship she had said that she doesn’t care about what other people think of her. When I brought this up she said well I do care now. I tried convincing her that I’ll deal with all the heat from the family, you can even say he is the one pushing for it I’m not that interested. I’ll be able to make the family come to terms with us. But she still says even if you convince the family I know it’s wrong and my mind will not be at ease. She says even if we get married I won’t be able to live a happy life because I’ll be disturbed about the fact that we are cousins and we shouldn’t be married. Also whenever she sees other cousins they remind her that we are doing wrong. She feels bad when she sees them. Sometimes she says that I look like her brother and that makes it difficult for her. The thing I don’t understand is that these are issues that were there during the first year of our relationship, why are they becoming unbearable now. She was able to put these thoughts aside then. Why can’t she now? I asked her do you want to end our relationship? Her reply was, “Yes, sometimes I want to end it. But sometimes I don’t. I don’t know.” I said why don’t you end it then. She said, “You’ve done nothing but loved me. And that’s why it’s difficult for me to end it. I’m thinking about our relationship in a realistic way and you think in a hopeful way. There is no way our family will allow us to be together.” 
      I feel that if I can convince her that we are not doing anything wrong. We love each other and there’s nothing wrong about it, she might change her mind. The thing is I’ve tried everything I could to do that. But she doesn’t accept it. I’ve given her examples of cousin marriages happening for so many decades. Her response is that if people have been doing wrong that doesn’t mean we continue doing wrong. 
      You may think she does not love me anymore and is trying to find excuses to end our relationship. That’s not how it is. She is a tough independent woman. She does not let other people’s opinions play any role in her decision making. She thinks for herself and sticks to her decisions however painful they may be. I know her very well. She still loves me. Just not enough to marry me. 
×
×
  • Create New...