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Aadi

Loved my cousin since childhood but forced to marry someone else

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Hello,

Searching for someone to help us out of this situation otherwise we have to finish our life.

Since i was 17 i got attracted to my first cousin, and she also shares the same feeling for me, as we are from india this relation is seen as disgust. I am 30 now and after so many years trying to convince our family the last drama they showed us that they will die in grief if we marry each other or leave this city. After 15 days i have to marry someone else just to save my family pride and honour and this is happening because even my lady was blackmailed and beaten by her family members now she is very affraid and asked me to do as our family is saying.

The only option left is to marry someone else and to commit suicide afterwards, because i can't see another person's hand in my hand.

I don't know when will i get the reply from this blog but if anyone is reading this plz ask their family members to read this and hopefully mine too, that they are murderers.

They murder us!

 

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You and your cousin should leave the city and run away together.  You only get one life. Live your life however you wish to live it and do not worry about what others think or say, they do not live with your choices and they cannot live your life for you, you do.  This is a choice you are going to have to live forever with and it is your life to live, not theirs.  If you feel you are in endanger, you have many reasons to leave, because if these people are willing to harm you anytime you do anything they dislike, they obviously do not care about you, and you marrying a stranger that they have picked out for you will not guarantee your safety, since who is to say you will not say, think, or do something else they do not like in the future.  You should not be a slave to their whims and their desires, you too are a human being, and you should have the freedom to live your own life however you choose.   The freedom includes loving whoever you both choose and if you truly do choose each other, then do so, and run away together.

When you leave together, neither of you should tell anyone.  I do mean do not tell anyone that you are leaving and do not tell anyone where you are going.  Not a single person.  Do not tell your friends. Do not tell your family.  Do not tell your co-workers. Do not tell your neighbor. Tell no one at all. Because anyone you tell could possibly tell someone else or be made to tell someone else.  You are going to have to leave and you are going to have to go far from where you are and where no one knows either of you, but the good side about that is you will both be safe and best of all, since no one will know you are cousins, you can live your lives openly and together, forever.

Edited by CousinILoveYou

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Tried everything, you have said. But now no hope, my lover is kept inside her home and there is noway she can come out of the home even her sisters and mother took away her phone so i won't talk to her, on top of all, she is warned that if she run away with me than they will find her and kill her. She is got very affraid of this threat and asked me to marry somone else. I know she loves me alot and she is doing this so that everybody can be happy, but this is not my marriage this would my funeral. I have no other choice just to quit myself and finish my story here.

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I do not believe you have done everything I have said because if you did, you two would be far away and safe.  I also question if you really love her since you do not give up on the people you love, yet you seem eager to give up.  You especially do not give up when you realize that both of you are in danger by staying there and it should be your primary goal to get both of yourselves as far away from that danger as possible and not simply submit to the people who wish to harm you and the person you love.

Since you believe suicide is a logical choice, although personally, I disagree, since I have a strong survival instinct, but we are not talking about me, we are talking about you... You have absolutely nothing to lose.  If she truly loves you and you know for sure she chooses you and means it, I'd act like a heroic white knight and I'd storm her house by force, and take her out of there, and leave with her.  What's the worst they can do, kill you? Well, since you're ready to die anyway, at least you would have given it your all, as opposed to killing yourself with no purpose.  If you succeed, you both will end up living a long and happy life together.

If you are not brave enough to go that route, I would still refuse to marry some stranger.  Nothing they say or do can make you marry someone since you must consent to it.  Make it clear to everyone that you find no respect or honor for what they are doing and make it clear that you'd rather die than to fulfill their wishes.  I'd also make it clear that if anyone tries to harm you, you have no fear of taking someone down with you.  That should at least have them rethink their strategy.

If you're still a coward because you have to be a coward to let people control your life, after all, it is your life, and you must live with whatever choices you make.  I would still suggest you leave as you should not die a slave to someone else.

Edited by CousinILoveYou

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