Im sorry if this is a long story.
Throughout my childhood I always met my cousin every summer vacay and he was like a best friend. During our teens we lost contact then we started talking on facebook for a year and discovered that we had feelings for each other.That summer of that year we were both 18, we reunited in our homeland(we both live in diff countries) and we were both so happy and excited ,he would always message me and ask where I was so he would come see me. Even just talking to each other we were so happy and our convos would never end in family gatherings and eventually our families knew. Both of us are not religious because I was born and raised in canada and he was born and raised in france but our families in our country were, so they wouldnt let us be alone together or even talk. even though we both knew it was forbidden(no relationships before marriage), we still kissed and made out every time we had the chance and we were alone. Summer ended and he went back to france and i came back to canada, we promised we will keep in touch and that he will come to canada and we will get married, he talked about it to his father ( my uncle), that was the plan.
When I came back to canada it was my first year in uni, i met guys and dated a few and i partied alot and eventually i broke up with him. He never gave up he would always try to call me , message me and tell me he would give me a second chance. I knew I loved him deep down and was the only guy i loved, my first kiss and everything but i was denying it and i was convinced he would never come and tht he cheated on me cause he was always telling me and sending me screen shot of girls that want him. He kept messaging me for two years to keep in touch and i never messaged him first he always did, but when he did it meant the world to me. Fast forward two years of being apart, we were both 20, he decided to get married and he did to a french girl. I heard from my mum not him. A part of me died when i heard the news because i thought somehow we will eventually end up together.During his marriage he would still message me telling me he still has feelings for me and asked me to never lose contact with him ,to never forget himm, and that he will visit canada (cuz he worked and has enough money saved) and that if i get married he doesnt want to hear it and he wished i was his wife but he would also tell me he is happy with his wife.fast forward 2 yer later, our grandmother passed away, me and him messaged each other and it helped us heal together then he started telling me that he misses me. I am happy for him that he is happy but now i have to look after myself, i still only want him and i havent even kissed or been with a guy for years cuz i only think of him.I decided to block him of all social media, i know it will hurt him but he moved on i didnt, i need to help myself now, is that selfish of me? i hate keeping in touch with him becaause he always starts talking about our past and at times he would get frustrated and tell me its my fault that we didnt work out and we would have been so happy together. i hate and i cant hear that thats why i blocked him. i hope he understands.
its been 4 years since i saw him but i love him that as much as that first time and i always think about the maagical moments we had together, is it possible i will move on like he did?
i feel like i want to explode because i cant talk to anyone about it
By Will Percy
So my girlfriend mentioned that he had an older brother which turns out his cousin, they grew up together since they were kids in province. She mentioned about sharing a bed, when they were kids but now my girlfriend and her family lived at the city so it's kilometers away from his brother/cousin. So every summer vacation the always went to their province and also have a house there, but my girlfriend always sleeps at the house of his brother. And in the room of his brother only two of them uses the room and they shared a bed until now. His brother is 20y/o and both of us is 19y/o. And our last date she also said that one time she just wear bra inside his brother's room and both of them are in the room. She said it's okay because it's his brother/cousin and her cousin is an open minded so no "worries"
Goodness I don't know if it is normal or what? Maybe I'm just paranoid about my uncle who had children with their first cousin? But still I don't know if sharing a bed is normal or what? Please help me my mind is about to blow.
I'm attracted to my first cousin (female) as long as I can remember and I currently developed really strong sexual feelings for her. I'm 18 years- old and a very shy and innocent guy, she is 20 very funny and a little bit crazy but I like that. Our families are very close and we kinda grew up together because we saw each other like every two months as kids. I think there has always been a sexual tension between us because she has been tempting me and flirting with me all the time when we were younger.
Last year we went on vacation together with our grandparents, my sister and my parents. Me, my sister and my cousin slept together in the same room and my sister shared a bed with my cousin. But at one night I managed to sleep with them in their bed because we watched a movie on my tablet together. When my cousin suddenly felt asleep I started pressing my lap against her A$$ and massaged her long legs, it was such a nice feeling. Afterwards I turned around to sleep but I realised that she was touching my butt with her face and I still don't know If she was doing that on purpose. I turned around and started to hug her from behind but she left the room afterwards, at first I thought she was just going to the toilet but she went to my grandmother's room and rested there. I was really affraid that she would tell our grandma what I did. I really hope I didn't scare her or disgusted her by my actions. On the next morning we went to the beach and I had a conversation with my cousin, I said that I move a lot when I sleep and apologized for taking up her space on the bed the night before, she just nodded in approval. Later that day she was "accidentally" grabbing my butt in the ocean but my sister was around so I just ignored it. Two days later I found out that she had a boyfriend and not only that, he went on vacation with his family in the exact same city as we did what a crappy coincidence... they met up really often.
I didn't talk to my cousin that much since then but on the last night before our family was leaving (my cousin was about to stay with my grandparents) I went all in. I slept with her in the same bed again and pretended to be asleep but she was awake. I pressed my lab against her butt again there was no sign that she didn't like it she was just texting with her boyfriend so she didn't really care I was even able to caress her A$$ but she didn't respond to it. Maybe it was cause of her boyfriend or because my sister was around or the fact that she was on her period on that day. I was tired so I fell asleep, on the next day we drove back home.
One year later a couple of weeks ago to be exact we visited my grandparents, my cousin was there too. She told me that she broke up with her boyfriend. Later I catched her leaving the shower only wearing a towel, she smiled at me and accidentally dropped her comb, she bend forward to pick it up, I was able to see her hot butt again. On that evening we were alone watching TV in the living room, she felt asleep on the couch and was wearing a hot tight leggings. I said "pretty late tho" to make sure she was really asleep, she didn't responded, good sign. Then I went to the toilet when I returned I catched her looking at me with one eye open. I was too anxious to touch her so I just went to bed.
I recently texted her to start a conversation but she didn't bother to reply.
Yeah that's why I decided to post this thread, please help me I can't stop thinking about her.
What do I do now? Is she interested in me? Is she really sexually attracted to me or am I just reading her signals wrong? Should I tell her about my feelings?