By Jordan Colbert
Our story started roughly 2 years ago when my cousin confessed she had feelings for me. At the time she said this is wrong and we should not be doing this. But we continued developing our relationship anyway. We planned of our lives together after marriage, babies, places to visit, things to do and so on. We lived a happy life. Now after two years of constant back and forth of; this is wrong we should not be doing it and it’s ok let’s go ahead with it, she wants to end the relationship but isn’t doing it, just putting a halt to the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect and just wants to be friends. She says, “I should have been the adult in the room. I don’t want to continue doing wrong.” She feels that when we inform our family about our intentions we will end up creating a huge and permanent split in our family. We will be the reason for our family to break apart. People will hate us. Previously at the beginning of our relationship she had said that she doesn’t care about what other people think of her. When I brought this up she said well I do care now. I tried convincing her that I’ll deal with all the heat from the family, you can even say he is the one pushing for it I’m not that interested. I’ll be able to make the family come to terms with us. But she still says even if you convince the family I know it’s wrong and my mind will not be at ease. She says even if we get married I won’t be able to live a happy life because I’ll be disturbed about the fact that we are cousins and we shouldn’t be married. Also whenever she sees other cousins they remind her that we are doing wrong. She feels bad when she sees them. Sometimes she says that I look like her brother and that makes it difficult for her. The thing I don’t understand is that these are issues that were there during the first year of our relationship, why are they becoming unbearable now. She was able to put these thoughts aside then. Why can’t she now? I asked her do you want to end our relationship? Her reply was, “Yes, sometimes I want to end it. But sometimes I don’t. I don’t know.” I said why don’t you end it then. She said, “You’ve done nothing but loved me. And that’s why it’s difficult for me to end it. I’m thinking about our relationship in a realistic way and you think in a hopeful way. There is no way our family will allow us to be together.”
I feel that if I can convince her that we are not doing anything wrong. We love each other and there’s nothing wrong about it, she might change her mind. The thing is I’ve tried everything I could to do that. But she doesn’t accept it. I’ve given her examples of cousin marriages happening for so many decades. Her response is that if people have been doing wrong that doesn’t mean we continue doing wrong.
You may think she does not love me anymore and is trying to find excuses to end our relationship. That’s not how it is. She is a tough independent woman. She does not let other people’s opinions play any role in her decision making. She thinks for herself and sticks to her decisions however painful they may be. I know her very well. She still loves me. Just not enough to marry me.
So 17 and i'm from New York. I went to Colombia for about 2 months to visit family that i haven't seen for years. I used to live in Colombia when I was younger but I moved to the United States when I was about 4. When we were children, my cousin Lucas and I were best friends... but that was 13 years ago and we haven't spoken since. Anyways, my first week in Colombia, I shared a room with my cousin. it was just a small room with two twin sized beds and we each slept in one. We had stayed up all night talking and playing games we remembered playing as kids. We then started talking about our memories together and he brought up one that i could never forget; The day i kissed him when we were kids. We both started laughing and we started playing thumb wrestling. I won and he then asked me if I remembered why I had kissed him when we were young. I said "no," and he told me "you got so excited about beating me at a thumb war that you just grabbed my face and kissed me,". I started blushing and I looked down at our hands that were still holding onto each other although the game was over. I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed it softly and he smiled. We realize it was already 4am and we each got into our beds but continued talking. I asked him if he was cold and he said yes, so I got out of my bed and walked over to his and put another blanket over him. He told me I was sweet and that I should crawl into his bed to warm him up. I laughed and about 5 minutes later, I took his suggestion and we were both laying underneath the 4 blankets on his bed. We just cuddled all night and talked until 7am when we heard our mothers walking around the house and I went back to my bed and we fell asleep.This was the start of it all. The following night we went star gazing and we kissed. We were inseparable throughout the rest of my trip. He made me feel so alive. one night our family went out for dinner and a show and i got pretty drunk and afterwards we went for a walk. We smoked a little bit and he made me feel so safe. he held my hand he made me feel so calm even though i'd normally feel paranoid while that intoxicated. I was so high but everything with him was so clear. I told him I loved him and he told me he felt the same way. I've never felt this way about anybody but him. I know that I am in love with him. Anyways, we were basically in a secret relationship for two months and we even had sex. It was both of our first time. I don't know what to do because I just left two days ago and I miss him so much. Im going back to Colombia in four months to visit again and my mother has been considering movie back there which I would be 100% on board with. I love it so much more there and I genuinely feel at home.It would also be so nice to live closer to Lucas. I really don't know what to do. We were both in relationships, but I broke up with my boyfriend (for unrelated reasons) before i got intimate with my cousin. My cousin is still with his girlfriend but he told me they aren't that serious and that it's temporary. We've decided to keep this all low-key for now because neither of us are sure about how serious we should let this get. Also our parents always joke about us being in love with each other because of how close we are and I honestly dont think they would be that surprised if they found out about our feelings for each other
Im very close with my second cousin and we spend alot of time together. I've had feelings for her for few years now, i thought it would go away, thought it was just a physical attraction because she IS beautiful. But as time went on the feelings stayed and grew.
She is extremely nice to me, and we talk alot, she always tells me to come back the next day and come hang out. She even has a nick name for me. Idk if she has any where near the same feelings, i wish i knew.
I dont know what to do, on one hand i deeply love her and long to hold her and kiss her she is beautiful but on the other i dont want to ruin what we got and make things weird between us.
Is it ok for second cousins to be intimate ? How do i even go about seeing if she feels the same way and if she does how would i convince her its ok?
Idk where to even start
So, here's the deal. I'm 22 & my girl cousin is 25 I believe. I've had a crush on this girl for a long time now. Only until we both gotten older that I started to notice she MIGHT like me as well but I'm not quite sure how to approach this. Also, we aren't so close to each other. Even though we see each other more than often. It's more of a small talk type thing with us.
the very first moment I noticed she's into me was SUPER random. I was getting home one night around 11pm I'd say it was. I had just got out the shower & was preparing to eat my chocolate chip cookies I bought from Subway. While they warmed up in the microwave, out of nowhere here comes my sexy arse cousin & this other girl (sisters friend, she's sexy as well. Lol) coming in the kitchen. I thought nothing of that at first but then they both grabbed my arms & basically told me to choose one of them. (They were either very buzzed or drunk. Some family of mine were out in the backyard having a good time.) In that moment I seriously wanted to choose my cousin but I noticed my cousins mom looking into the kitchen so I had to settle with the other girl. Turns out my cousin got jealous (I think) & threw my cookies into the hot pot of soup!! (Why else would she do that??)
Second time was actually BEFORE the first event took place. She told me she was leaving & to close the frontdoor for her. She was wearing a tight green sundress & oh my goodness did she look scrumptious. I couldn't help myself but to slap her butt as she walked out my door. She turned around & said to me "omg! Hahahaha". She said it in that tone when girls pretend to not like something but you know they really do.
Third. Sometimes when we walk by each other in the hallway of my house. I touch her thighs. Whether it'd be a quick touch or a long touch. She doesn't seem bothered by it. & on those rare moments when we hug I place my hands on her lower back close to touching her butt but not quite & she doesn't seem bothered by that either.
Fourth. She tends to stand in my sight of view whenever she's in the kitchen. My room is right by the kitchen & can see a little over there when the door is open. & it's always this one particular spot she stands at whenever my door is open so I don't that's just coincidence that she's standing there every time.
Fifth. She got my number somehow one night & told me to open the back door for her cus I had just finished locking the house. I didn't bother asking how she got it, though. From my sister most likely but who knows for sure.
Sixth. I can tell her feelings for me get revealed when she's been drinking. The way she looks at me & the way she speaks to the other females that are talking to me. She's always telling them "quit bothering him. You're probably annoying him." Then proceeds to give me a smile.
Does anyone think it would be random to start texting her even though we don't talk like that at all?? I've been contemplating this situation for quite some time now & would like some advice!
Sorry for the long description but I need some advice.
My maternal first cousin recently had a bad separation. His ex cheated on him and broke his trust. Although he told me he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore I think he hasn't moved on completely yet. The reason I say this because I've accidentally found her picture in his wallet.
Anyway, so I met my cousin after 7 years. We had a thing 7 years back but that didn't last for some reason. Now, that I met him again the spark started to return. We both are deeply attracted to each other and sexual tension is massive. As we didn't want to be in a relationship for a reason we agreed to be fwb.
I lost my virginity to him and the sex was freaking awesome. He just LOVED sex with me. The sex had always been passionate and hot. He's obsessed with me. He had always wanted to make love to me. He even told me I turn him on like he never thought was possible and to him I was irresistible. He even said he never felt this chemistry with anyone else. I had given him massive turn offs at times yet it didn't stop him from wanting me. Not to mention he genuinely cared a lot about me. He loved taking me out and spending time with me. Used to get offended if I didn't join him while eating. And felt twinge of jealousy if I talked to other guys.
I ended the fwb relationship with him for a reason and told him. He was deeply hurt, I could see a certain pain in his eyes. He reluctantly agreed without wanting to know the reason. And from that day he has become aloof and distant. He still cares about me and talks to me but he's toned down.
Is it how fwb supposed to feel when the relationship is over? Why is my cousin behaving like this? He's a very experienced man and compared to him I am a novice who can't even give a proper bj, what's so sexy about me that used to turn him on like crazy?