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Jaycee

Second cousin's

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I am a 40 year old widow after a 15 year relationship. I met a man online about two years ago whom I was very attracted to, but never met him because I was with someone else. I thought of him often, it was a little strange the attraction I had for him. A few months after my fiance passed away, we started talking again and met up, he is 28. Its almost weird the things we have in common, we eat the same foods, like the same shows and music, and so much more. After a few weeks we found out our grandparents are brother and sister. We've spend almost all our time together, since the day we met in person, our relationship intimate and I literally crave him. I want to touch him all the time, his smell, his glance, literally everything about him I love. He's been a godsend for my self esteem and almost a cure for my depression. How could anyone say this is wrong, because I feel like a void has been filled...

My question is, is it common to be so extremely drawn to someone and feel so secure and comfortable, or is it because we are related? 

He says he doesn't care what anyone thinks, and honestly I don't either, is this a GSA situation?  

Edited by Jaycee
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As for GSA, I have trouble buying into it especially at that distance in relation. I mean in general we're attracted to people who are like us. Imagine how many people you're related to who you're probably not attracted to. 

I recently met a second cousin too who I had an attraction to. I've always thought he was cute despite the fact I didn't really meet him until we were well into our adult lives. The cuteness was one thing but what really drew me to him as an adult was when I found out he was liberal and noticed the same things in life as I did. I didn't know that until I actually met him. He could have been the cutest thing in the world but if he wasn't interested in the same things as me (and honestly a similar personality/humor) I wouldn't have been drawn to him. 

I do think the comfort thing might also have something to do with the familial bond you share. That's to be expected though. The same thing would happen if you met someone from the same town as you or perhaps connected with someone you went to high school with for instance. I've experienced the bond and attraction to non-relatives before because either we had gone to the same high school only a few years apart or because our parents were friends when they were younger. 

I'm sad that society has such a strong taboo on cousin relationships. At least in general. It's one thing to grow up with someone but it's another to meet as adults and to have never considered them a part of your family. Proceed as you would any other relationship, that's what I would say. Neither one of you seems to be bothered by the fact you're related. 

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