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Jason116

Early stages of a possible relationship

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Hello everyone! I'm new here and found your website after some light Googling. I have my own cousin story to tell, and decided to create an account and share it with you all.

I have known my first cousin once removed (her grandmother is my aunt) for the better part of 6 years. We met each other late in life, and only found each other when she sent me a friend request on FB after recognizing my last name.

At first, we really didn't get along. She thought I was fat, quiet, and nerdy, and I thought she was loud, rude, and overbearing. We continued like this for a while, but over time, we got to know each other and eventually discovered there was a person beneath our initial assumptions. I always thought she was gorgeous, but it wasn't until last September that it felt like I saw her for the very first time. Instead of just noticing how beautiful she was, I noticed all of her other qualities and it wasn't long after, that I legitimately fell in love with her. This was the second time in my life that I ever felt about a woman this way, and if anything, it's stronger than the first time.

My love for her inspired me to lose over 160 lbs and get my act together in a way that made me mature as a person and become more confident. I started reaching out to her more, opening up about my past and inner most thoughts, and she did likewise. I started buying her little gifts to show I was thinking about her, never failing to wish her good night on Facebook, telling her how beautiful she is, and never failing to be there for her when she needed me. We grew closer, closer than I ever thought possible. She now invites me over to her place where we spend fun evenings baking, talking, and watching TV. We hug and embrace, I have worked up the nerve to kiss her on the forehead when it's time for me to go home, and we express in words and in writing how much we mean to each other. One night, we stayed in her car and just talked for hours, until 2 AM in the morning.

So far, this is as far as we got. I'm grateful for the progress we made and I don't want to blow it by moving too fast. I'm choosing to let things develop naturally and not force a 'moment' where I finally kiss her and tell her I love her. 

My cousin means the world to me, I place her happiness far above my own, and no matter what, no matter if we don't end up how I would like to, I'll always be there for her.

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Hi and welcome to CC.

You are developing the friendship with your cousin that we  tout here as being the best thing to do!

One can not have too many friends. I  hope things go well for you and your cousin in the days to come.I

 

One idea we give to judge where one might stand with their "object of affection" so to speak is  use

the line "if you weren't my cousin I would date you,,, or "You possess the qualities I look for in a date, mate..."

You use the words that make you comfortable.  If she gives the EWW factor, you have the out of telling her 

" I said IF..."  Something along those lines may give you an insight to what she may be thinking or feeling.

 

I look forward to hearing more of your story as it unfolds.

Best wishes on your journey.

 

 

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It sounds like the stars are aligned for you two. I would just point out that moving too slow can be worse than moving too fast. I'm not saying you should jump in bed with her tomorrow. I'm only saying that moving too slow may cause her to think you are not interested.

And the kiss! The kiss should never be planned. It will come 100 percent natural and at the perfect time. I predict that it happens much sooner than you expect.

When you are in love, you can only stay cool and keep it under wraps for so long.

Being cool is so overrated :D

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At this point don't go too slow... shift gears man and step on the gas a little bit.. 🙂  i agree with KC. 

 

Pooch

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Thanks for the advice everyone. I do worry about moving too slow, and I'm trying the best I can to get over the idea to her that I'm in love with her without having to say it.

UPDATE:

I have told her that if we had met sooner in life, that she would have been my girl. She giggled and wondered what my dad, her uncle, would have said, and I told her I wouldn't have cared. 

A few weeks later, some friends of ours married and they were in fact, second cousins. She didn't blink an eye at their union, and I used this as an excuse to explain to her that many famous people ended up marrying their cousins. A couple of days after the wedding, we talked about it some more, and she herself said "Well, it would have been like if you and I had hooked up...", which I took as a good sign because if the thought wouldn't had been on her mind, she never would have said anything. Also, the casual way which she mentioned it gave me some encouragement. 

She told me she had always wanted a puppy when she was a girl, so for the Easter weekend, I took her puppy shopping and let her pick out a dog she wanted. $700 later, with an extra $100 for puppy supplies, she now has the dog she always wanted and is totally in love with it.

When I come over to her place, which is often now as she texts me invites, I help her clean. I move her couches and sweep as she focuses on picking up and putting away laundry.

Some loser friend was giving her a hard time over on Facebook and made her upset, so I went the Chuck Norris route. I found the guy, and gave him a black eye. She was impressed. She said she never had anyone who fought or stood up for her. 

Finally, a friend of ours told me that she was talking about me, and she said that "I changed her life in ways I don't even know.", and that she does love and care about me. Not sure about the context, but none the less, still something to be pleased with.

This is where we stand right now. 

My big goal is to kiss her on the lips. I have a feeling when that happens, the dam gates are going to burst and we'll either rise with our emotions or be sunk. I'll be back with updates as they happen.

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