By A lover
Hi guys I live in iran and I really love my mother's cousin I'm 16 but she is 18 i don't see her much but I'm in touch with her with social medias I have some problems first is that if she even likes me or not (we are good with each other) and the second one is that our families are some how close and I afraid if I tell her I loveher she probably don't likes it and the things between our families get bad the third one is that does she have a boyfriend ?
I don't what to do I really love her if I haste she may hate me or ignore me and if I wait (as I said she is 18 and soon Wil enter the university ) she might get to a serious relation with some one else
And I heard from her cousin which is one of my best friends, she has boy friend
I don't what to do I have lost many things for hesitating I don't want her to be one please help me thanks.
Hi I'm Edward and I am madly love with my cousin. She is my second cousin and she doesn't know about it. I fell in love with her when we were like 7 or something... But all these years I couldn't even split out a word about this to her. I really need help please
The first time I met my second cousin was when I was 9 years old, he was 8. My family took a road-trip to his home city and we spent a summer fortnight at a holiday house near their place. As you can imagine, I saw my second cousin everyday. He was very brotherly towards my younger sisters, but for some reason he treated me differently. He was very sweet, but he was also shy around me. I think I probably had a crush on him after a while, but I suppressed my feelings. On my last night there, his older brothers went to get some pizzas, and him and I tagged along. On our way back to his place, we were sitting in the backseat, and out of nowhere, he held my hand. I got a warm and fuzzy feeling. He told me that he like-liked me, I like-liked him, too. I didn't let go of his hand that entire car ride. I didn't see him after that night for many years. I always remembered him, but he was just a memory to me, and a little childhood crush.
Fast-forward 9 years, and I attended his brother's wedding, which took place in my city last October. I was excited to see him again. I no longer had that childish crush on him, but I was curious about how he turned out. I searched for him amongst the guests, and then the most handsome 17-year-old walks into the hall. I knew it was him right away. Later that day, I went outside to catch a breath of fresh air, and I saw him there. He introduced himself to me, and I could immediately tell that he didn't know who I was, which was totally understandable. We talked about a lot of things, we had a lot in common. Our conversations flowed naturally, we were so comfortable around each other. We exchanged numbers, and we decided to meet at the beach the next day with our other cousins. We hung out many times after that too.
Eventually, our newly-found friendship quickly blossomed into a summer romance. We fell deeply and quickly in love, much to my parents disapproval. I really didn't care. I loved him. He flew back to his home city, and we decided to start a long-distance relationship. Though it was very difficult in the beginning because we couldn't physically see each other, we were determined to survive the distance.
My insecurities started getting the better of me. I'm scared to get attached to people because many of my friends and people I loved left me, or I left them. I always moved cities as a child, so I never got to establish a long-lasting relationship whether it be friends, or boyfriends etc. I began to push him away unintentionally, I'd told him of my tendency to shut people out already, and he was confident that we'd get through it. I did my absolute best not to push him out, but sometimes I did hurt him. I tried to make it up by showing him extra affection but it started taking a toll on him. We mutually decided to break up, I couldn't bear to hurt him any longer.
After our break-up, which happened a little over two months ago, he stopped talking to me. I got rid of his things, my friends said it would fasten up the "moving on" process, but honestly it's been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Some days I feel it was for the better and I'm happy, then there are times when I feel sad for weeks, and I can't stop thinking about him. About two weeks ago, he texted me and he said he missed me. I told him I missed him too, but I fear I'd only hurt him again. I was also mad that he stopped talking to me for two months without giving me a heads up.
I'm confused. I want him back but I also want to move on. I keep hearing his voice in my head and I can't think straight. Maybe he's already moved on since our last text, and he'll think I'm weird for trying to contact him.
Please help. Any advice on the situation is greatly appreciated. I don't know what to do.
What an incredibly supportive and amazing group!
Please forgive my intrusion. My name is Beth and I'm a features writer with That's Life - a national magazine that tells real-life stories in Australia and New Zealand.
We share unique love stories in the first person and in a completely non-judgemental way. All of our interviewees receive full copy approval.
I'm posting as I'd love to find an Aussie or Kiwi couple who'd be willing to speak to me. I think that it's really important that we tackle the stigma associated with dating/marrying your cousin. It is, after all, completely legal!
The only way we can do that, though, is by people coming forward to share their stories, openly and candidly.
If you are interested, please drop me an email at *************@***********.com.au.
Thanks very much,
By A.R Wright
This is possibly the hardest thing that I have ever done. I did not know where else to turn as this has been eating me up inside for a very long time. I find, and I am sure some others will agree with me, that being in love with your cousin, or, coming out as I call it, is worse than being Gay or Trans in Western Culture. I have found that the prejudice and disgust I get from most people even when, jokingly, I suggest I could possibly be in love with my cousin. And I am. Signing up to this forum to get this horrible thing off my chest was harder than I care to admit and I didn't want to even use my real email address in case it was hacked.
Long winded introduction aside I have been in love with my second cousin for over twenty years. Even since I was a small child. I thought it was a phase and I was even told, by my therapist whom I have been seeing for nine years, that it was and that I would get over it. I have stopped seeing her as even she said to me it is something that I should, under no circumstances pursue and that it is something that I shouldn't even discuss with the cousin in question. I felt that, this deep dark secret isn't something that was safe from anyone, even my therapist the person I thought I could trust with this. What frustrates me is that my our family appears to be lenient when it comes to ALL OTHER forms of love. A 70 year old dating a teenager? No problem as long as she's legal. A man marrying 5 times in the course of 7 years? Who hasn't? But this, this seems to be the one thing that both of us have to hid for the rest of our lives. Every time I see him he gives me these looks which I know are longing. We have been on a few dates and it hurts now even to look at him. He seems to be ashamed of how he feels about me. Anything he says to me now is so completely innocuous that I don't know who he is anymore. I think of him every single day, I can't sleep or eat and what's worse is I can't tell anyone why. My mother thinks i'm depressed and I am but not for the reasons she thinks. I never thought something like love would kill me slowly but it is. As for him? Last year at our Christmas get together we were being especially affectionate towards each other. No kissing or anything like that but we were obviously infatuated with each other. The looks from my Aunts and Uncles were of utter disgust. As if, we shouldn't even be able to express how we feel without being physically affectionate. He has not seen me all year and I feel like this might be why. He never tells me how he feels, it's always just looks. Anytime we're alone together I am happier than I could ever imagine. I know that I will never love anyone as much as I love him. I want to tell him so badly how I feel but I feel so ashamed of myself. I hate myself for falling in love with him and it seems that everyone around me is telling me it's wrong. All I needed to do was right this down. Sometimes I can't stop crying because I know that no matter how hard we try our love story will never have a happy ending.