By A lover
Hi guys I live in iran and I really love my mother's cousin I'm 16 but she is 18 i don't see her much but I'm in touch with her with social medias I have some problems first is that if she even likes me or not (we are good with each other) and the second one is that our families are some how close and I afraid if I tell her I loveher she probably don't likes it and the things between our families get bad the third one is that does she have a boyfriend ?
I don't what to do I really love her if I haste she may hate me or ignore me and if I wait (as I said she is 18 and soon Wil enter the university ) she might get to a serious relation with some one else
And I heard from her cousin which is one of my best friends, she has boy friend
I don't what to do I have lost many things for hesitating I don't want her to be one please help me thanks.
Hi I'm Edward and I am madly love with my cousin. She is my second cousin and she doesn't know about it. I fell in love with her when we were like 7 or something... But all these years I couldn't even split out a word about this to her. I really need help please
So I'm 23 (F) and my second cousin is 27 (M). For years during childhood I had this sort of innocent crush on him, and the most I thought about doing with him was kissing him on the cheeks and lips really fast, hugging, rough-housing, poking and tickling him. There were times when I wouldn't see him for a year or two, and I was always bummed out when I didn't get to see him at family gatherings. I put this in the back of my mind as just something that happened because I longed for a sibling as an only child and that I didn't really talk to guys around my age much. The majority of our family is pretty conservative and religious (Christian) in a kind of strict way, so I'm pretty sure they would look down upon cousin couples (I can't even talk about Harry Potter around some of them without a "good talking to".
Anyways, for the last few years especially, my life has been very... rocky. I'm pretty sure my mother has BPD (borderline personality disorder - my therapist thought so too) and for years I went through emotional abuse with her as well as her poor choosing of men that she's dated and married throughout her life. She's currently stalking and harassing me and other members in our family trying to figure out where I live and other personal details that I refuse to give her since I've gone no contact for the last year with her. I've been going to university to be a teacher and working at the same time without having to rely on anyone else so it's all been really stressful on me. I haven't been able to see a therapist in a while - my university's counseling center sucks so not an option on that. Not to mention that my old counselor is a Christian guy so he wouldn't be the best match for what I've been through....
The kicker is that several months ago the first serious bf I had been dating for longer than a year decided to end things with me, mainly because I have vaginismus, which apparently is both a physical and psychological sexual dysfunction issue that can be caused by sexual and/or emotional abuse. He had also said that he only found one physical part of my body attractive and couldn't even list anything on the inside that he liked of me, so in the end I felt ugly inside and out and broken as a woman and human being. He didn't want to be patient anymore and was frustrated because he couldn't do certain things with me (which I understand, but I was the one that was affected the most..). A couple of times after I went to see a gynecologist... and it only made my condition worse - the doctor basically gave up on me and now I'm facing a severe form of the dysfunction and I don't even know if I'll ever get it fixed. It was a pretty low time for me and I'm still trying to get over the hurdle of the emotions of it and trying to regain my self-confidence back. After the break-up I had also gradually begun to lose interest in dating or anything sexual whatsoever that involves being with another person. (I mean, would any guy even date a girl with vaginismus and be patient and understanding of the condition and other crap she's been through, especially if she's not the most attractive person out there??)
In the meantime, here and there my second cousin has helped me by moving my stuff or by us hanging out a couple of times. Even then I didn't really think much of him in a romantic way, although I tend to keep walls up between me and others anyways (or so I've been told). However, that changed when he asked if I wanted to meet up with him a couple of weeks ago. All we did was go to a gun range that he worked at and he showed me how to use different guns (that close proximity to him had me sighing on the inside), because in the past I had mentioned to him that I would like to be able to defend myself and be able to use a gun if necessary (isn't that thoughtful of him?). But suddenly after that I haven't been able to get him out of my mind. What was once an innocent child crush has now turned into me fantasizing about being with him and wanting to be intimate both physically and emotionally with him. Now I get so excited just to even see a text from him or hanging out with him, and even though he's not what I would call my "type", I still find him attractive.The more rational side of me is worried because I'm still in pain from the other past (and current) events and I don't think I could deal with any more pain right now.
Now, I'm a little more open-minded compared to the rest of my family so I don't have an issue with cousin relationships as long as it's not forced, the couple isn't too young, and no one is manipulated. The issue I do have is:
Whether I'm actually having romantic/love feelings for my cousin, or if it's just something out of circumstance and pent-up sexual and emotional frustration What the family would think or do if anything were ever to transpire between us - I don't even know if my cousin shares the same feelings for me or not. I guess right now I'm wondering if I really do like him in that way or not, and not just being lustful at the moment. I'm not in any rush or anything, I just want to have a sound/idea-box with people who can understand my situation, I guess.
Any thoughts or ideas on this?
Hi guys. Its my first time sharing this but I have to get it off my chest.
My cousin and I didn’t grow up together. We grew up in different countries but knew about each other. He vacationed here in 2005. We had an attraction then. He wrote me a letter before he left admitting that he liked me. When I got home, I messaged him and said I liked him too. We started talking but I stopped cause I felt it was wrong. I vacationed to his place the next year. It was awkward at first but the attraction was still there and we admitted that we had feelings for each other. We had our first kiss then and more kisses. I went back home and we continued to chat but I told him we should stop cause its not right. We had relationships of our own after that. Come 2008, we saw each other again. All the feelings came back in full force. We spent time together the entire time I was there and the feelings grew to love. Yes, we fell in love. Same story, we stopped, had relationships but it was never the same. Early 2012, we started talking on skype. Things went fast and by mid-2012 we were officially together though LDR. We kept it a secret. On vacations, he met my friends. I met his. We promised each other that we’ll fight the obstacles that come our way. We did what couples do when we’re together on vacations. We spent time together. We made love. We fought. We made up. We agreed that he’d petition for me to go there. Fast forward to 2018, he said he’s unsure of our future anymore. That he wanted to be with me but he didn’t want to drift apart with his parents too (they are close). He ended our relationship of almost 6 yrs. It crushed me. He shattered my heart. I gave him my all. He became my world. All my dreams and plans involved him. I may have been there before but not anymore. It was the kind of pain that I never thought I’d experience. I cried for days. I couldn’t eat nor sleep. He’s always on my mind. He said he needed time to figure things out. He said that he hopes he comes back to me sooner than later. I want him to. I want him to come back to me. But what if he doesn’t? What if I’ll be waiting for nothing? I’m scared that if he comes back, will he break me again? This broke me to my core. Its just been days since we broke up. I still can’t let go even when I said I would if that’s what he needs. We still talk but its not the same. Should I stop contacting him for now? Give him space and time. But I’m scared that if I do that then that’s the end of it all. He says he loves me still and that he always will. I feel the same way. But we got lost along the way somehow. I don’t know how to cope. Help please.