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relationship with my cousin i am confused if i should continue with him...

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I am in a dilemma I am 20 years old in a relationship with my cousin for last 3 years .. our relationship had the most breakup but later on we would just make up. He really loves me like anything and I also love him (though my feelings for him I guess have reduced) I really dont love him the way he loves me... I have always thought about like that cousin’s (he is my first cousin) relationship or marriage is not good. But i coulnt just breakup with him because he gets into depression and cries a lot(i know this because in the past we have had many breakups) now i come to know about the complications of first cousim marriage...like child birth..and he doensnt know anything about it. He wants to marry me. I sometimes want to end this relationship but i stop because i think i love him and he would be hurt. I had been physical with him but it’s more than 1 year we have been really close. I sometimes think that if i marry someone else in future i would still be haunted by his thoughts and our relationship. Please advice me what should i do... i need help genuinely ..

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Kitty - it's not a good idea to stay with someone because they will be hurt if you leave. That's not fair to either of you, because you aren't with someone you want to be with, and he has to know this on some level. If you don't love him romantically, you need to leave him.

One the other hand, if you are just afraid of the complications of cousin relationships, and you are in love with him, you might want to look into it more. There is a slight increase in a chance of birth defects for first cousins who have children together, but it is not high (significantly lower than a woman over 35 having a baby for example) and you can also mitigate the risk with genetic testing. Depending on where you are, you may or may not be able to legally marry, and that is certainly something to consider. However, if you really love each other, it's worth the challenges.

In the long run, you need to make a choice based on how you feel about him. Good luck.

 

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Don't let someone manipulate you into staying in a relationship with them.  If he cries and carries on when you break up, he will be even worse in a marriage.

If you don't love him, you don't love him.  If he wants a relationship more than you do, that's his problem.  

You need to cut off all contact with him:  No social media, don't respond to emails or texts or phone calls.  

The complications of child birth between cousins is very small; that's no reason not to pursue a relationship with a cousin.  Being unsure of your feelings and  feeling guilty for his reactions when you are not together. are perfectly good reasons not to pursue this relationship.  You are responsible for you.  He is responsible for himself.  Walk away from this mess.

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I really dont know if i really love him??  Sometimes i feel like not talking to him... and sometimes when we dont talk i am just eagerly waiting for his text. I keep checking the last time he was online or his dp and all. I feel hurt when he ignores me but then I constantly think in my mind if it’s right what i am doing and  if really want to be together... such stuff... i cant make out if I genuinely love him or not? 

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You are the only person who can answer that question, but I would say, if you have to ask strangers on the internet if you are in love with someone, you probably aren't. You care about him, but it sounds more like you are afraid of dealing with the consequences of a breakup than that you actively want to be with him. 

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You're the one who said you didn't love him the same way her loved you and that your feelings for him have reduced....

My advice stands:  Walk away, move on with your life and let true love come to you.  What you have described is a mess and much too complicated.  Walk away and be happy.

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