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I'm in madly love with my cousin and i have no idea what to do


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Hi I'm Edward and I am madly love with my cousin. She is my second cousin and she doesn't know about it. I fell in love with her when we were like 7 or something... But all these years I couldn't even split out a word about this to her. I really need help please 

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  • Moderator

Edward,

First of all. take a deep breath and relax.  We don't know of any place where second cousins are illegal.

Secondly, give us a little more information:  how old are you and your cousin and where do you live - just country or state is all we need.  That information will help us give you the help you need.

HUGS

Nat

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Nattana

First of all thanks for replying. I'm from keral, India and I'm 18 she is also 18. I fell in love with her when I was 7 and when we were like 10 her parents took her to KSA but still was in love with her after 7 years she came back to India. I was so happy that she came back and that she is still single. But she told me that she had a relationship when she was in ksa but they broke up 2 years ago .I desperately want to tell her how i feel but I'm afraid what might happen. It's been one year since she is back and we are so close as we were back when we were kids. What should I do? 

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  • Old Timer

Ah, I see you did make a separate post here. The standard advice offered on these forums - which seems good to me - is to say something like "if you weren't my cousin, I would like to date you", which gives you the option of backing off if she doesn't respond well.

How do you think your family would respond if you two dated? Is it considered taboo for second cousins to date in the area of India you live in?

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MissPrice, 

Thanks for replying. Where I live marrying 2nd cousin is rare but it's not taboo. I really have no idea how our family will react to this. I hope they are going support us but before that I have to know if she is interested in me.. I'm afraid that she'll get angry if i tell her 

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  • Old Timer

Unfortunately, the only way to know is to approach her. No reward without risk. :) I can tell you that when I told my cousin, I didn't think he would return my feelings. I only told him because we were very close and talked about everything else, and I couldn't stand not telling him anymore. Now we are married, and I'm happier with him than I've ever been with anyone. It's a scary thing to do, to make yourself emotionally vulnerable like that. The question is, if you don't say something, how will you feel? If she goes off with someone else and you never said anything, is that better or worse than taking the chance that she'll reject you?

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  • Old Timer

I already gave you one suggestion. Just keep it simple. If you want to be less direct, try my suggestion above. My own approach was to be very direct. We were talking about dating, and he told me I would find the right man eventually. I said "finding him isn't the problem". He asked me what the problem was, and I told him that the problem was that "he is you, and I know you won't like that, but I can't change it". Something like that. Talk to her, and take the opportunity that presents itself, whatever that is. There is no script. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

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Thank you for the suggestion MissPrice. I'm going for it...I don't know how ny life is going to change after this but I have to do this. Thank you all for your suggestions. The day after tomorrow I'm going to tell her how I feel about her. I'm teaching her how to ride a bike where we get a lot of alone time.. Where I have to create some nice situation to tell her. I hope this is going to work out. Tell me if guys have any other suggestions and I'll let you know what her reaction was. Thank you 

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