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Peaches

I’m deeply in love with my cousin but married

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Peaches,

There is a lot of great advice being given here and I hope you take it to heart. I've been reading this site for years and it is a good resource for people like us. If you love your husband and children you should use every fiber in your body to make it the best it can be. I say "us" because I'm in a similar situation. I won't talk about it here, this is your story. I may post about it later. I wish you all the luck.

Edited by McKenzie83
hit enter by mistake.

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4 hours ago, McKenzie83 said:

Peaches,

There is a lot of great advice being given here and I hope you take it to heart. I've been reading this site for years and it is a good resource for people like us. If you love your husband and children you should use every fiber in your body to make it the best it can be. I say "us" because I'm in a similar situation. I won't talk about it here, this is your story. I may post about it later. I wish you all the luck.

I thought I might not be alone. I would love to hear your story.

I've cut off communication for the last couple of days and I’m depressed, seriously, like someone has died. Idk how to fix this. I wish I could go back in time and never had a conversation with him. I feel like he is my soulmate and I will never be happy again. Is this really the right thing. I guess by society’s standards it is and I will have to suffer for the rest of my life. At least that is the way I feel right now. 

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I just wanted to say that I am in a very similar situation. I can't give you any advice since I don't know what to do myself, but at least wanted to let you know you're not alone. x

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Well just to update I followed Lady C’s advice and went 100% no contact. I felt really guilty and bad for doing that to my cousin but my loyalty does not lie with him. 

 

It it hurt pretty badly but now it feels like a fog has lifted from my brain . I am just so thankful that I did not ruin my marriage over this infatuation. I guess new attention and hormones can play tricks on you.

I am truly thankful for the advice given here and to the ones that gave me answers I did not want to hear. That was the first step to me making the right decision. 

I’ve not had an easy life from the beginning but the one thing I’ve been blessed with is my husband who has loved me through thick and thin. I just hope I can turn this karma around and pray that I never do something so stupid to hurt my marriage again.  

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i'm so happy to hear that peaches! not many people are willing to listen, much less take my advice, and i love that you came back and gave us an update.  YES! the fog lifting is such a great description of what happens. sometimes when we're caught up in the emotions of 'someone knew' we don't realize just how heavy that weighs on us and how it addles our brains. 

i hope you'll come back and keep us posted! in fact, we'd love to have you around to help advise others that come walking in here wearing the shoes you used to wear :) in fact, there's a guy who posted today... i haven't read it yet, but it's the same kind of situation.

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Hi Peaches

It was like you're taking the words out of my mouth. Word-for-word. I'm in the exact same situation as you. Everything you said I have the same thing happening to me as well. So no you're not alone in this. 

Everyone has given great advice but for me I can't just stop the feelings I have and cut my cousin out of my life like everyone has said. I can't change the way my heart feels for her. For me I look at it as if it is meant to be then it will. No one can ever know who there meant to be with or who is right for them. 

Fallow your heart. Do what you feel is right. Be with the one that completes you. That makes you feel like you never have before. 

I'm following my heart and for once in my life I'm happier than I've ever been. Only time will tell if it will work out. I hope that helps you a little. 

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2 hours ago, Kev said:

Hi Peaches

It was like you're taking the words out of my mouth. Word-for-word. I'm in the exact same situation as you. Everything you said I have the same thing happening to me as well. So no you're not alone in this. 

Everyone has given great advice but for me I can't just stop the feelings I have and cut my cousin out of my life like everyone has said. I can't change the way my heart feels for her. For me I look at it as if it is meant to be then it will. No one can ever know who there meant to be with or who is right for them. 

Fallow your heart. Do what you feel is right. Be with the one that completes you. That makes you feel like you never have before. 

I'm following my heart and for once in my life I'm happier than I've ever been. Only time will tell if it will work out. I hope that helps you a little. 

food for thought for you ken... 

Quote

 

Jeremiah 17:9 King James Version (KJV)

9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

 

 

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Hi Peaches! I have been without a good wifi for a bit and am just now catching up.

I am so glad to hear of your decision. I know it won't be easy but you are aware of that also.

As LadyC said please keep us updated and if you need a ear to listen, we are here.

 

Best wishes to you.

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Guest Opinionator

Hey Peaches,

 

dont beat yourself self up too bad. Many things people have said here to you are correct and fair but very likely also coming from the position of being in a happy and fulfilling relationship with their cousin. Something that might not happen for you. No one goes into a marriage thinking it will fail. No one catches up with family expecting it to turn their life upside down. 

Im sorry I don’t have the answer either but it really does sux a lot , it’s ok to feel like rubbish about it, and you’re not a bad person for thinking about your own happiness for a moment. I totally disagree with the statements that this feeling for a cousin is a “ forbidden fruit” thing and it will wear off leaving you looking for the next person to have an affair with. Those kind of people are not reaching out for advice in a forum like this as you are.  If not being with your cousin makes you so miserable that if effects your family, maybe that’s no good either. I hope you can find your way back to your husband if that’s what you decide to do. Remember we are all just flawed people working it out as we go along.?

good luck 

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I made this post. Couldnt log in to my old account. Since then I have divorced and am in a serious long distance relationship with my cousin. Things are complicated by the distance because neither one if us can just move due to custody. But we see each other every two to three weeks and are both 100% committed to making it work until we close the distance. How do you just walk away from the absolute live of your life? I couldn’t and I tried. I tried to make my marriage work and cut him off and my heart kept coming back to him.

I wanted to make a new topic but couldn’t find the button to start one. Maybe because my account is new? 
 

How do you all deal with the judgement of others. Our relationship was exposed by my ex. Some of our family was disgusted and turned their backs on us. Some (mainly his siblings) have been supportive and said if we make each other happy that’s all that matters. His teenage children accept us. Mine is angry and says I  weird and has threatened to cut me off. 
 

there is so much false information out there. I have researched this subject to death and being with your cousin is actually pretty natural and common. I’m still struggling to deal with the judgement of others and sometimes wish I could just disappear with him. I am educated and think Im an all around decent person. Yet the stigma of being trash and dumb is a hard pill for me to swallow. Yet, I love him so much and know he loves me too. I know in a million years I would never find anyone else that loves me as much as he does. Love like that is once in a lifetime. So what do I do?

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I feel u girl at less he is willing to go thru the struggle of people opinions. My cousin gets on my nerves and I’m about have his baby . girl in like 4wks. I wish I had what u have fo real when I have my baby I’m never being with him in that way again on god. my aunt in my mom knows About are secret but the rest of the family don’t in they will be so mad at me but good luck with everything 

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