By Jordan Colbert
Our story started roughly 2 years ago when my cousin confessed she had feelings for me. At the time she said this is wrong and we should not be doing this. But we continued developing our relationship anyway. We planned of our lives together after marriage, babies, places to visit, things to do and so on. We lived a happy life. Now after two years of constant back and forth of; this is wrong we should not be doing it and it’s ok let’s go ahead with it, she wants to end the relationship but isn’t doing it, just putting a halt to the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect and just wants to be friends. She says, “I should have been the adult in the room. I don’t want to continue doing wrong.” She feels that when we inform our family about our intentions we will end up creating a huge and permanent split in our family. We will be the reason for our family to break apart. People will hate us. Previously at the beginning of our relationship she had said that she doesn’t care about what other people think of her. When I brought this up she said well I do care now. I tried convincing her that I’ll deal with all the heat from the family, you can even say he is the one pushing for it I’m not that interested. I’ll be able to make the family come to terms with us. But she still says even if you convince the family I know it’s wrong and my mind will not be at ease. She says even if we get married I won’t be able to live a happy life because I’ll be disturbed about the fact that we are cousins and we shouldn’t be married. Also whenever she sees other cousins they remind her that we are doing wrong. She feels bad when she sees them. Sometimes she says that I look like her brother and that makes it difficult for her. The thing I don’t understand is that these are issues that were there during the first year of our relationship, why are they becoming unbearable now. She was able to put these thoughts aside then. Why can’t she now? I asked her do you want to end our relationship? Her reply was, “Yes, sometimes I want to end it. But sometimes I don’t. I don’t know.” I said why don’t you end it then. She said, “You’ve done nothing but loved me. And that’s why it’s difficult for me to end it. I’m thinking about our relationship in a realistic way and you think in a hopeful way. There is no way our family will allow us to be together.”
I feel that if I can convince her that we are not doing anything wrong. We love each other and there’s nothing wrong about it, she might change her mind. The thing is I’ve tried everything I could to do that. But she doesn’t accept it. I’ve given her examples of cousin marriages happening for so many decades. Her response is that if people have been doing wrong that doesn’t mean we continue doing wrong.
You may think she does not love me anymore and is trying to find excuses to end our relationship. That’s not how it is. She is a tough independent woman. She does not let other people’s opinions play any role in her decision making. She thinks for herself and sticks to her decisions however painful they may be. I know her very well. She still loves me. Just not enough to marry me.
I only grew up with 3 cousins, from the same uncle. Oldest was male, 3yrs younger than me. And 2 girls, 5 and 7yrs younger.
And I have 2 older brothers, and one younger brother.
So, the older of the girls, L, was like my shadow. Every time they were around she was right there. No matter what us boys were doing, she was like a little puppy just following as close to me as possible. I was always flattered by her, because I am very introverted, and she was so accepting of me. They were exposed to so much alcoholism, abuse, neglect, abandonment from her parents/step-parents. And she always felt loved by us (me).
So, I get married at 19, and things that happened in her life, we lose contact. 20yrs go by. She never lived more than an hour drive from where we lived, but I didn't know.
She reaches out on FaceBook 7yrs ago... to ask for a family reunion, of sorts, with her Dad's side of the family. Her Dad just left right before they reached their teen years, and NEVER tried to contact them again.
Anyway... I had butterflies in my stomach. We were both married with kids. But the exact second I walked in, and our eyes met...I felt a fire ignite inside me. We walked straight to each other and hugged. I could have never described the feeling I had right then.
But I figured out pretty quick, that I fell in love with her. She is my soulmate. We have had multiple discussions about how we know we are true soulmates. And I finally said the words to her... "L, I am in love with you". And she said "I know, I feel the same."
So much more to the story.....
By Will Percy
So my girlfriend mentioned that he had an older brother which turns out his cousin, they grew up together since they were kids in province. She mentioned about sharing a bed, when they were kids but now my girlfriend and her family lived at the city so it's kilometers away from his brother/cousin. So every summer vacation the always went to their province and also have a house there, but my girlfriend always sleeps at the house of his brother. And in the room of his brother only two of them uses the room and they shared a bed until now. His brother is 20y/o and both of us is 19y/o. And our last date she also said that one time she just wear bra inside his brother's room and both of them are in the room. She said it's okay because it's his brother/cousin and her cousin is an open minded so no "worries"
Goodness I don't know if it is normal or what? Maybe I'm just paranoid about my uncle who had children with their first cousin? But still I don't know if sharing a bed is normal or what? Please help me my mind is about to blow.
Im new here. So where to even begin. This feeling of emotion is too strong right. Anyways
So its all begin last december. I saw my distant cousin (the family tree is complex but she is defintely like a 7 or 8 cousin.) But so it had been quite a few months since i last saw her. (She lives about 3 hours away so i only get to see her 3 or 4 times in a year). But when i saw her this december. Everything seemed different. I just dont even know how to describe that feeling. And before you ask my age is 19 while she is 18. So back to the story.
So she came with her family and stayed for 3 days. The moment she walked in that feeling i felt was unusual because i did use to see her before and i had no feelings like this. This was different. I dont even know what to call this love because it was so intense. So nothing really happened after that other then me hanging out with her and her staring quite a bit at me and as well as being playful with. (Bear in mind. She did not do this before as whenever she came she just hung around my other girl cousin and sister and we didnt even talk on social media). So time flew and she went back and i saw that on the final day she was quite sad because i think she didnt want to leave. Also this time she didnt talk to my cousin and sister a lot and instead it was me and her talking and the usual stuff.
So one day went by and i was feeling quite depressed because i was missing her quite a bit. So i texted her and then since then we have talked everyday without missing a single. As we have a lot in common such as interests and hobbies. The texting was quite prolonged and as this progressed my feelings went through the roof. This was our first time texting as before we didnt really click. Now that i know so much about her. I just want to be with her and protect her and make her happy as much as i can. I just think about her 24/7 everyday and it makes sad thinking that it might not work
Well i know my story wasnt too eventful but here is the question. Do you think she likes me?
Other the staring and being playful with me. With regards to text. I am getting some mixed signals so first when i text her about like actresses or any other girl. I get weird responses like lol and ok then. I feel like she doesnt want me too talk about other girls to her. Also she has told me about literally everything about herself and half of the things even my sister doesnt know. So i assume she does trust me a lot from. And there is this other thing. I once told her i liked girl with short hair upto the shoulders and what you know after a week she cuts her hair to that length. Also we literally never end our texting. It just keeps on going. Whether day or night. Also we both compliment each other quite a lot and she is quite shy so i cant expect her to make the first move.
So to end. What do you think i should do. I obviously want a relationship and i already know my parents or her should not say anything but i dont know how to tell her.
Sorry for a long story but had to get it off my chest somewhere so i could have some peace.
Thanks for any replies