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Martin

Found each other and in love

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My cousin and I grew up years apart...6 and in other towns.  Are family connection is close.  However, due to our age difference, we led different lives.

I was married when she went off to college.   And being from other towns, the little time she was home did not allow me to see her.  After college she soon married.  At that time I had already been separated and into a second marriage.  The only time we saw each other was during a family gathering that we would attend occasionally.   It was always hit or miss if we would see each other.

Over the years she suffered some health issues, cancer, and became divorced.  I also had a bout with cancer.  Neither of us knew of each others hardships until later years.

At a cousin's reunion that she held at her home, we met again.  Me just shy of 60 and her just 53.  

She was divorced twice and into a third marriage and i was into a failing third marriage but trying to make it work

It was then we found we had a lot in common that we did not realize.  Primarily our love to ride motorcycle.   Which we began to do thereafter.

About a year later I had a battle with prostate cancer. She would,text to see how I was doing.  Upon recovery I was able to ride again and we did.  We even contemplated taking a ride the morning of her son's wedding just for fun.

It was just after I turned 61...I had planned on attending a bike rally as so was she.  Circumstances led to my crew bailing on me.  She however was attending and riding with another group.  We talked and decided I would cancel my room for that week and share her two bedroom cabin with her and ride with her group.

We made the trek via trailering the bikes.  This gave us a lot of time to again catch up.  and we did.  She informed me of her marriage failing.  And her decision to leave her hisband when she returned. And we talked about mine as I was now separated.  We spent hours together and she rode on the back of my bike that first night.  When we got back to the cabin...we talked more.   We crossed a line that night that most cousin's fear crossing.  It was beautiful.  It was not ugly or shameful or alcohol induced...it was beautiful. We did not have intercourse those 4 days.  We would hold each other and kiss and sleep and we felt wonderful in each others armes. Upon return she stayed the night. That was the night we crossed into new territory's.   

When she decided to leave her husband, I invited her to share my house until hers waz built.  It was right before the holidays and we felt we could both help each other thru our first holiday. 

Well we had a great holiday with our kids

..all adults 20's 30's 40's..and my grandchild.  Even Easter was great.  They enjoy being together as they really,never knew each other before.  

What we keep secret though is that my cousin and I are in love with each other and intimate.  We have not even told friends.  When we are together we are cousin's.  When alone we are a loving affectionate couple.

Recently she became distraught over the secret we hide and some of the curiosity that may be in the minds of family and friends.   She admitted that she tried pushing me away.  She went away for a few days and contemplated not returning.  However, she is back with me because she said she cannot imagine being without me.  

So here we were...me just 61 and her 55.

Our children are grown adults.  We enjoy each others company and our affection for each other and love, both emotional and physical is wonderful.   However, we don't know how to come out and break the news to release the burden of carrying this secret around.  She wants to build a new house in a year and wants us to do it together and make it ours.

However, she can not figure out how to tell the family what our plans are for your future happiness.

I am afraid the pressures she feels will again become too much for her and drive her away.

 

Anyone have some similar issues and if so how did you handle them?

Thanks 

 

 

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That story really pulls at my heart. I don't know what to say, but I hope things work in a way that brings happiness for the two of you.

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The drama over telling our family often gets exaggerated in our minds.  When I told my family, some were OK with it, some disapproved and some turned cold towards us over time.  But being of a certain age (I'm 49), I really don't care about their approval.  My two kids, who are now in their early 20's have been OK.  The oldest was a bit disgruntled in the beginning, but has come around to acceptance.

You will just have to come out and say it:  "I've been dating a wonderful, delightful person who makes my heart skip a beat and gives me respect and loyalty"

Don't expect any reaction, just share the joy.  And don't let any drama ensue.  If someone gets ridiculously upset, kiss 'em on the cheek and bid farewell for the moment.  

You have been given a chance at happiness and I would let everyone know that their reactions will not impede upon the pursuit of your happiness.

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Just enjoy the love you have together and don't focus on what anyone else thinks.  They don't get a vote

Edited by clayp72

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There is a document pinned to the top of this section on how to tell family about cousin-romance.  It should answer your questions and help you out. :)

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