Hi, I'm an absolute newbie and I love that this website exists. Right, to the point! I'm not gonna bore you with the details of my love story, but I will say that I've had a really difficult time digesting the fact that my cousin and I want to get married.
You see, I was one of those people who thought cousin marriages were gross and that there were billions of other people in the world so no one should have a relationship, let alone marry, their cousins. Boy oh boy how karma likes to bite you back in the arse!
I fell in love with my first cousin who lived two oceans apart, I really rarely saw him so he wasn't like a brother or anything close, you could say a stranger? We never really spoke, I just about recognised who he was.
Anyway, I know I shouldn't care about what people think, but it gets to me when people say things like "Ew that's incest."
I don't know, I just think it's so hurtful when people say horrible degrading things like "oh it's like sleeping with your brother"... I don't consider it incestuous at all, but upon researching cousin marriages, I came across some people who felt strongly about it being incest. That grosses me out and makes me see my husband-to-be in a different light.
I know, I know, I shouldn't care, but I need reassurance that marrying your cousin isn't actually gross, or incest. I feel disgusted at the prospect of being in a potentially incestuous relationship, and I suppose my judgement is clouded by other people's opinions, so I need some positive opinions to realise that the world isn't full of haters.
Hi. So, I’m currently 14, and so is my second cousin. (who I’ve known only less than a year now) Now, I know I seem somewhat juvenile for this type of this discussion, but I’m in dire need of help. See, the thing is, nowadays, it’s pretty clear that kids as young as 12 have relationships. Most of the time, they don’t last, it’s obvious, but I have feelings for my second cousin that I’m certain I’ve had for nobody before, nor do I think I can have them for anyone else. She’s beautiful. But that wasn’t the first thing I noticed. We met at an amusement park, when our parents introduced us to each other no less than a year ago. What I noticed first about her was that she seemed bothered. Worried, distressed, and I immediately felt the same way—at least the way that she looked. Now, she lives in the US. I’m US born, but I temporarily live in another country until about 11th grade.
Consider it what you may, a “long distance relationship” or whatever, but this makes me even more distressed. See, this was the day after they’d come from America. They did a lot that day, and maybe, just maybe she was simply exhausted from all the activities they did.
A few days after, they were still here, we met again. She looked the same way through their stay here. She constantly has this look of ponder. This daydreaming sort of physical characteristic. But it doesn’t bother me at all. For all I’m concerned, if something is going with her, I’d stand up for her and protect her from whatever is to happen.
So, as I said it’s only a little less than a year we know each other now. We went to their house in Fl for a few days in December though, I learnt that we’re actually pretty close. Yet, I fear it could be that she only treats me this way because she thinks of me as simply her “cousin” don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about that, it’s just that she might not really feel as a feel for her because of this. I see her as a stranger. A stranger who’s simply disguised as a “second cousin”. This seems to me to be a challenge put in place by fate to exercise my heart in hopes of seeing how strong - willed I really am. Know you must, she’s my only second cousin, who’s my age. Well, frankly she’s my only cousin in general, who is my age. First and second cousins alike.
Cousins are supposed to feel like a distant sibling, there to give advice, moral support, empathy, but she doesn’t only do that. We’ve known each other for a measly 9 months yet, I feel like I can tell her anything. Well, at least almost, everything. I feel as though, if I were to say anything to her about how I feel, our extremely short-lived relationship would come crashing down. Like an ancient stone abode built by hand, but after centuries of love, war, death and well, age. That’s right, I’m comparing a 9-month old relationship with my second cousin to basically any structure in what was the magnificent Pompeii. I’m 14. That’s what I do. Dramatize holy crapoly!.
To extend on that point I made, about her looking somewhat, distraught or maybe distracted by something, god forbid someone, well, my first instinct was to help. I wanted to help her. Hold her. Console her. She always has this look, and I love it. I think I understand now, that it’s most likely the way she acts. It’s an unconscious habit for her. It doesn’t turn me off in the least.
Her entire persona, by the way, hand in hand blends with mine. We’ve texted nearly every second of every day since that last time we met, when I was on Christmas break, at their house in Fl. I didn’t get to hold her, yet every time we say goodbye to each other, she hugs me. SHE hugs ME. I don’t even offer a hug, reason being, if I do, chances are, I’m gonna ask her to marry me. Her hugs feel amazing, yet, totally off-putting. What if it’s because she likes me too? Yay...? Then again, we live like 8,000 miles apart, and when either of us goes away, we go away. For like a couple months. So it’s likely, the hugging could be just a friendly gesture of saying goodbye. Which, without a doubt, sucks.
So we text a lot. We hang out a lot. How do I approach her? ( if I should) See, I’m a afraid she could find a relationship with someone else soon, if I don’t act fast. While she’s single, while she’s young, I want to tell her how I feel. I wish to have my first kiss with her. On sexual terms, maybe even lose our virginities to one another. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Please, help. I need someone to talk to about this.
Hi guys, I'm new to all this cousin stuff. Im from the UK so im well aware of the legal issues on cousins.
To cut a story short, ive always had a hunch that my cousin has liked me since we were young, but these past 4 years i think that shes been dropping hints that she likes me. Im 23 and shes 18, i know thats quite an age gap but the thing is, she is exactly like me when i was that age. We often acknowledge our similarities and we are both always a little shocked at how much we are the same. I should cringe at this but ive never really felt a real connection with anyone until recently. Ive had many girlfriends, but there was never a fulfilling feeling of being with them. but anyway ill cut to the story.
On odd occasions my cousin will ask me to go out and i will always say yes, but if i cant i will always rearrange to see her. When we first starting hanging out she would want me to tickle her arms, so basically she was very touchy feely with me. Then a year passed and she got a boyfriend which i was totally fine with but then they split up and we started hanging out abit more, she seemed more shy around me and was alot less touchy feely. Eventually she got another boyfriend and hes a really cool guy we get on, earlier this year she asked me to go round to her house for a massage and she asked to do a full body massage on me, i said no because i didnt want to feel awkward so i ended up just going with a back massage. she was wonderful at it she is amazing at massaging, but i couldnt help but feel a little aroused by it. so anyway i just put that to the back of my head and thought nothing of it because shes my cousin right? Anyway, when we go out as a family to a meal or something, i always catch her looking at me with such a beautiful grin after shes told a joke, even if im sat doing nothing while everyone is talking, i look over at her to catch her staring at me, we lock eyes and oh man does my heart race. It feels like we are the only people in the room. But this week we went to town and we got drunk, while we was out she was telling me that she gets more energy when there's more people and i understand that, so she invited one of her lad mates out. Before he arrived, baring in mind that she has a bf, she was telling me how nice and hot he was, which is what you do at 18 haha. I was looking forward to meeting him, we got on and he mentioned that he wanted a smoke. so i said we could go back to mine because my parents were on holiday and she was really up for that. so this lead me to think that she wanted to get with her friend.
When we arrived at mine we had a smoke, watched a few films and just generally had a good night then i said i was going to go to bed. as i was going up she asked me for a t-shirt to wear to bed, i was drunk and i took mine off and just chucked it at her as a joke. She laughed and said thanks, so she went off to get undressed and put my tshirt on. when i was in bed she messaged me and asked where i was sleeping, i said in my room and laughed. then we carried on talking but i cant remember what about, but i remember her saying "Let me have a nap first". at this point i was so tired i just fell asleep. eventually i woke up at 3 and could not get back to sleep, so i got up brushed my teeth and went to the living room. she came downstairs curiously in my tshirt so i presumed she slept in it and i asked her if she had done the deed with her friend. she laughed and said no as if it was gross. i was abit confused by this, but then it hit me. Was she downstairs with me at 3AM to finally admit to what she was feeling? I went so quiet i didnt know what to do and i felt a sense of tension between us, she said she was going upstairs to put her phone on charge and i told her to come back after. She did come back but she only sat with me for about 10 mins before going to wake her friend up so we could all sit downstairs together. anyway this is where it gets confusing, i try to message her and she will talk to me for a short while but its always a short while, i dont know if she feels awkward with me, honestly im so lost.
I have no idea what im feeling, what shes feeling i just need your guys opinions on the matter. are these obvious signs shes giving me or am i just getting the wrong end of the stick?
If you need more info just ask :).