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Flower77

Introduction/My story

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I am a 41 year old mother of 4. I just joined today. I have been in a relationship, with my first cousin, for 3 years. We have a beautiful 18 month old daughter. We are soulmates. It wasn’t always this way. Our mothers are half sisters and extremely close. We were together for summers and holidays, as children. We would spend the night with each other but never had crushes or anything. We were 5 years apart, in age. (Mikel is a genius and was over my head. So even though I was 5 years older, he was definitely smarter. )  We last saw each other when I was 16 and he was 11. I moved with my father and never saw him again.

 I got married at 19 , had a daughter at 21 , another at 26, then had a son at 33. My marriage went down the pipes and at 38 I found my true spouse where I least expected.

 I actually grew up hearing horrible things about people marrying their cousins. I heard that your children would be mentally challenged or physically grotesque. Our child is beautiful, highly intelligent, Perfect and healthy. 

We don’t usually tell people that we are cousins. It’s not like we’re hiding it, our entire family knows. It’s just not how we introduce ourselves. No matter what, we are husband and wife.  I do feel like strangers will judge us. Mikel’s idiot brother makes horrible comments about us and our child. It definitely shows how uneducated people can be and just how nasty. 

It will never change the fact that we belong together. Even though i was married before, I had this feeling that there was someone out there, made just for me. I felt like my life was running out and I would never find that person. I still can’t believe it was him all along. It seems so funny to me. If someone had told me this, I would have told them that they were insane.

 I guess true love really is where you least expect it.?

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*Funny Note

I got the comment “You’re in Tennessee, Not Arkansas!”  It was meant to be mean and hurtful and to criticize.

? Tennesee allows first cousins to marry. Arkansas does not. 

Some people should be educated on facts before opening their mouths.

just had to share ???

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This is a great story. Glad you shared it, and glad you found your true love and mate.

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Thanks! I never knew a person could be happy like this. I thought relationships this great were only in movies.

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3 hours ago, Flower77 said:

Our mothers are half sisters and extremely close.

You are blessed that your mothers are not just in good terms but are actually close. You know, some problems regarding cousin relationships is that the parents that are siblings are enemies or don't talk to each other or some bad history happen. That kind of dynamic puts additional pressure on the cousin relationship you have because you don't want to offend your uncle/aunt (and in-law at the same time). :( I dunno, but in my culture, close-family ties are really a huge part of it and so when some of those relationship are strained, it puts heavy burden on the son/daughter's relationship with his/her cousin. Know what I'm saying?

In my case, it is my mom and my cousin's dad who are siblings. Their relationship is not close like you but they are in good terms. I would have that neutrality and keep the balance. 

 

Pooch

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I do know what you are saying. I know that we’re very lucky. The first thing our mothers did was talk and agree to stand by us no matter what the rest of the family said. They both know and understand their children. They knew that this was real and not just some fling.

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Also, our mothers were taught that this is wrong. They very easily could have said, “No, We don’t accept this!” And turned their backs on us.

We all would be very devastated. I am extremely thankful for their love and wisdom.

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On 5/29/2018 at 12:46 PM, Flower77 said:

*Funny Note

I got the comment “You’re in Tennessee, Not Arkansas!”  It was meant to be mean and hurtful and to criticize.

? Tennesee allows first cousins to marry. Arkansas does not. 

Some people should be educated on facts before opening their mouths.

just had to share ???

LOL i remember when Mark and I were first dating people would say "are you from arkansas or something?" and i'd laugh and say no, it's not legal there. 

we're texans, by the way. and at the time even first cousins could marry here. six years later the law changed. it wouldn't have effected us anyway, because we're first cousins once removed.

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@LadyC that’s so funny! 

I have to admit, I read your story and was floored. Our stories are very similar. The time apart, the prayer, everything. It felt so refreshing and a lot less lonely. I am so thankful for this site. I have never had a Facebook account or anything like this before. I am glad I took a chance. I am thankful for everyone on here.❤️

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