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cadbury

Whycousins?

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I've been occasionally visiting this forum under different accounts and names due to privacy. I am 99% sure that my cousin is also an occasional visitor here.

I have many cousins n never felt same way for any of them and I'd never ever imagined that this would happen to us. It is so awkward now, we don't talk at all and completely avoid each other as if we don't exist for each other. I hope now he is mature enough to not to discuss me with anyone (literally no one), nothing turns me off than finding out that he shares his feelings or the fact that I still think about him with others. I feel disrespected, I don't share anything related to him with anyone because I understand the fact that most of the time people pretend to listen and care for you but, in reality they just can't wait to discuss your life story or secretes with others. 

No one will understand your story better than you yourself, so instead of giving people a reason to hurt you, why can't people (cousins) trust each other? If me and my cousin are constantly visiting this forum, that just means we have a lot to say or ask from one another but just don't have enough faith or courage to ask or maybe we are just scared that we might get in trouble by the other person. 

My cousin is seeing someone else, he has been seeing her for a long time. So can't compare what we had to what they have. I do wonder why are we still here (provided my guess is right), are there some questions which can be answered only by us? Is there something we have been waiting for and what is it exactly? 

So many questions I have in my mind, I don't know why we are behaving the way we do? Can't act like normal cousins and relationship is not permitted, but maybe we can be friends for once and release all our fears.

I hope it helps him to trust me and others who are in similar situation like mine.

I do not discuss him with anyone in my family or friends and I have been hoping that one day he will be mature enough to have faith in me.

I want the best for both of us and for all other People here. I hope this topic will help some of you to understand that no one understands you better than your own cousin. It is not an easy thing to do, take a leap of faith. If you will never ask, u will never know. 

I hope this helps.

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cadbury, if he is here, i hope the two of you can talk. but i feel sad that you consider it a mark of immaturity that he might want to talk to someone else (in real life) about his feelings for you. i don't know what the context of what he may have said to someone about you, but unless he was making fun of you, it's sad that you would feel disrespected by him. 

however, i'd be furious at the person he confided in who couldn't be trusted with the secret. imagine how your cousin must have felt. he confided in someone and that person betrayed him, and gossiped about him, and even worse, gossiped about the girl he cares for (you)... he discovered how untrustworthy and immature his friend was. 

it's so easy to understand why cousins (who feel romantic attraction) can't trust each other enough to take that leap of faith. it's the same fear of rejection that occurs in non-cousin crushes too... only amplified by a thousand potential complications that could ostracize one from every family member and friend that gets wind of it.  surely you understand this, because if you'd taken that leap of faith yourself, you wouldn't be here.

i hope he reads this, and the two of you can take that leap and answer all those burning questions that each of you have.

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On 5/30/2018 at 5:01 PM, cadbury said:

Thank you for your input :)

I think @LadyC hit it right on the head. I too hope you and your cousin can find that deeper trust in each other and have open communication and clarity in your relationship. Whichever direction that takes you.

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W. H. Auden, 1907 - 1973

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well That, for all they care, I can go to hell, But on earth indifference is the least We have to dread from man or beast. How should we like it were stars to burn With a passion for us we could not return? If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me. Admirer as I think I am Of stars that do not give a damn, I cannot, now I see them, say I missed one terribly all day. Were all stars to disappear or die, I should learn to look at an empty sky And feel its total dark sublime, Though this might take me a little time.

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Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows
You're the missing piece
You make me believe
That there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

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I lost access to Cadbury account. 

I just wanted to share that I met my Cousin, it feels good to see his face. We had an eye contact for a split second and it felt like he wanted to say something perhaps it might be related to this website or God knows. I truly pray that he iss reading my messages, I don't think I will get an opportunity to confront my feelings for him.

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