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cadbury

Need some advice

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I'm so confused that I don't even know where to begin, I don't know if it is a wise idea to post here knowing that he might be reading it.

So it's been many many years since we last talked to each other. I don't know if I will ever get over this feeling. There is always a feeling of emptiness. I understand that what we have, no one will ever understand us and people will judge or disrespect us for liking each other.  

Honestly, I can control my feelings for sometime but deep down I feel so dead and so thick skinned. So far not so good, I am not able to express my feelings or share them with anyone (done that and I 've been through a lot), in order to please our family or other people I am not going to negotiate with my life. 

Even though I felt disrespected by him at some occasions, but he is a good person I believe. I don't wish anything bad for anyone, he will not understand me lol. One day we all have to leave, so why wish bad on someone? He might have felt disrespected by me as well (many times in fact), but I just hope he will forgive me and understand why I did what I did to him and his family. When no one else stand by me, I have to stand up for myself and stop people from stepping on me. 

I wonder do people really get over cousin love? We don't talk at all, but I still feel the connection. A ray of hope his always there!

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If your not on speaking terms do you want to fix it?  

Things left bad can fester on you which seems to be the case.  It also seems you have no closure in it.  Maybe write him a letter or Email.  Write it all down and don’t send it for a few days. Go over it a bunch of times   Then see how you feel. If you feel better don’t send it if you feel compelled then send it.  

I am no expert at relationships by any means but I find comfort in writing down my feeling to the one I love but not with yet (here’s to hoping and praying).  

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I'm surprised there isn't a 12 step like group for your situation. Maybe there is. I remember when my wife and I don't up for 2 years it was incredibility painful. I'm not sure you can get a lot of help out there, but we will try to help you here. Just spit it out. if you can be more specific, I can be more helpful.

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Ur guess is right, feeling stuck is no good. I tried to talk to him a couple years ago but made myself look stupid, I have a strong feeling that he visit this forum on and off. Either I am good at connecting dots or I just over think. 

There is no point of writing him a letter or email or text, chances are that he is not going to reply. Writing posts on this forum does help me, so I am assuming he reads them. It all started when we were teenagers and now we passed our 20s. I just wonder for how long do we have to ignore each other and avoid talking? Even though many many years passed, it feels like it all happened yesterday.

 

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6 hours ago, KC said:

I'm surprised there isn't a 12 step like group for your situation. Maybe there is. I remember when my wife and I don't up for 2 years it was incredibility painful. I'm not sure you can get a lot of help out there, but we will try to help you here. Just spit it out. if you can be more specific, I can be more helpful.

I don't know what he wants or what he is upto. He was the one who blocked me and stopped talking to me, without giving any explanation or a proper closure. Honestly, I don't know what I want at this point. We both love our families and hurting them is not possible. 

I don't know maybe I just want to talk to him, it feels good to share and to know what he thinks because we won't judge each other. We understand our situation and respect our feelings.  We know we have not done anything wrong, we put our families first and out feelings second. 

I know he is effected by my presence and he don't want to betray his gf, so he completely ignores me. Which I respect, I also ignore him because I felt disrespected by him. I do have a lot of anger built up, which I need to release. I want to tell him, what he has done wrong and what he is still doing wrong and how can he fix those, so we can get a closure at least. 

 

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I hope soon he will understand me and confide in me because I am a friend not a foe.  I want to see everyone happy:), my intentions are clean. 

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On ‎6‎/‎4‎/‎2018 at 12:35 AM, cadbury said:

I'm so confused that I don't even know where to begin, I don't know if it is a wise idea to post here knowing that he might be reading it.

So it's been many many years since we last talked to each other. I don't know if I will ever get over this feeling. There is always a feeling of emptiness. I understand that what we have, no one will ever understand us and people will judge or disrespect us for liking each other.  

Honestly, I can control my feelings for sometime but deep down I feel so dead and so thick skinned. So far not so good, I am not able to express my feelings or share them with anyone (done that and I 've been through a lot), in order to please our family or other people I am not going to negotiate with my life. 

Even though I felt disrespected by him at some occasions, but he is a good person I believe. I don't wish anything bad for anyone, he will not understand me lol. One day we all have to leave, so why wish bad on someone? He might have felt disrespected by me as well (many times in fact), but I just hope he will forgive me and understand why I did what I did to him and his family. When no one else stand by me, I have to stand up for myself and stop people from stepping on me. 

I wonder do people really get over cousin love? We don't talk at all, but I still feel the connection. A ray of hope his always there!

In my experience, nope! :D Getting over a cousin love is next to impossible. lol.

Hope everything is okay on your end,

 

Pooch

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3 hours ago, pooch said:

In my experience, nope! :D Getting over a cousin love is next to impossible. lol.

Hope everything is okay on your end,

 

Pooch

Lol

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7 hours ago, pooch said:

Getting over a cousin love is next to impossible.

Pooch

Yep

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No u turn lol. I ended things with my ex (not my cousin) almost 6 years ago because I suspected him of cheating on me, later I found out he was. It was a bad experience, didn't make any other bf since then. I feel like that experience was necessary to grow as a person. But, this cousin attraction is too strong lol. 

It's not like I have been thinking about my cousin for all those years. I tried reconnecting with my cousin for a brief time and when I found out he had a gf I stopped right then and there. 

I think now we are on an equal level lol, I had my experience and now he is having his experience of life. I don't wish bad on him, perhaps I am falling for him again.

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8 hours ago, cadbury said:

No u turn lol. I ended things with my ex (not my cousin) almost 6 years ago because I suspected him of cheating on me, later I found out he was. It was a bad experience, didn't make any other bf since then. I feel like that experience was necessary to grow as a person. But, this cousin attraction is too strong lol.  

It's not like I have been thinking about my cousin for all those years. I tried reconnecting with my cousin for a brief time and when I found out he had a gf I stopped right then and there. 

I think now we are on an equal level lol, I had my experience and now he is having his experience of life. I don't wish bad on him, perhaps I am falling for him again.

Geez.. You tell me, man.. Way too strong indeed. Cousin attraction can hook you, make you do things you wouldn't do, make you go to places you wouldn't go and even make you say things you wouldn't say... Makes you fight for things you wouldn't normally fight for. Even makes you spend on things you wouldn't normally spend on. So crazy. All of that at the risk of being brokenhearted, failure, tears and heartache. lol. It is a euphoria and a rollercoaster blend into one. But as Alfred Lord Tennyson's line said, Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all, right?

Soooo.. Yep. :D

Cheers.

 

Pooch

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