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cadbury

What would you do if your cousin decides to marry his gf?

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Just wondering, how would you feel if your cousin marries someone else and you end up staying single? What would u really do? I feel like a failure or a loser already. It is a terrible feeling. I have to move away from everyone and adopt kids and live my life.

I am unable to forgive my family and parents for forcing me to stay out of cousin relationship and after that a bad relationship.

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Nevertheless, I do not feel guilty anymore. But, I have so much anger and frustration for the people I cared about the most. I don't like it when they act like they didn't do anything and everything is normal. I find it hard to fake around.

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1 hour ago, cadbury said:

Just wondering, how would you feel if your cousin marries someone else and you end up staying single? What would u really do? I feel like a failure or a loser already. It is a terrible feeling. I have to move away from everyone and adopt kids and live my life.

I am unable to forgive my family and parents for forcing me to stay out of cousin relationship and after that a bad relationship.

Yes you should... and that's what I will do if I were you. Otherwise, it will be difficult for my end to move on and have a fresh start. Reset button comes from the new environment around you. :)

 

Pooch

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10 hours ago, cadbury said:

... I don't like it when they act like they didn't do anything and everything is normal. I find it hard to fake around...

You just described almost all of the family I am around. It gets very frustrating.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope you find a fresh perspective, and a fresh start to happiness.

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39 minutes ago, Ken said:

You just described almost all of the family I am around. It gets very frustrating.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope you find a fresh perspective, and a fresh start to happiness.

Yep. 

But then what do you think they should do? Know what I mean? Act not normal? They have their own lives too and issues and stuff. Or do you want them to just shut up basically and just leave you alone? What would you rather have them do? It goes both ways.

The point is that either which, relationships are strained and it is difficult for huge lacerations to be cured by mere band-aids.  lol. I suggest to get outta a toxic environment and start fresh somewhere else. The world is small nowadays and it is not like the past wherein you are born, raised, live, retire and die on the same place. Of course it is not easy to move as there are lots of considerations. But you gotta do that as a goal that within 9-12 months, you are outta there. Know what I mean? :(

 

Pooch

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Whatever my family made me do was years ago, since I can't change my past but I have expectations from them. They know I will get hurt if them bring up anything about his gf and my expectation from them is to shut up when I am around. 

I don't have problem with his gf but you know it's that kind of feeling 'that which was mine can't be someone else's' lol. So yeah it kind of sucks!

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Cadbury.

Let me recommend that you read a book:  NASTY PEOPLE:  HOW TO STOP BEING HURT BY THEM WITHOUT STOOPING TO THEIR LEVEL by Dr. Jay Carter.  I found that book years ago and used it to change me into a happy, positive person.  In spite of the fact that my cousin is married to someone else.  When I found that book I kept reading it again and again.  It took some time but it worked,  

I have been telling people about that book - I'm trying to straighten the world out - one person at a time.  LOL

Good luck.

HUGS

Nat

 

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My cousin DID marry someone else. So did I. I went to his wedding (after my divorce) and tried to talk him out of it.  I bit my tongue, went on with my life and some years later when he had divorced, we got together.  Finally!

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On 7/12/2018 at 8:10 PM, Serendipity said:

My cousin DID marry someone else. So did I. I went to his wedding (after my divorce) and tried to talk him out of it.  I bit my tongue, went on with my life and some years later when he had divorced, we got together.  Finally!

That does give hope...

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My Dad broke my cousin-love and I up, decades ago.  As much as I was in-love with my cousin, I couldn't believe that he was in-love with me, and I was terrified of his rejection, so I never said anything to him after my Dad broke us up.

Seven years later I married someone else, but my cousin-love was never out of my heart.  My family and my cousin's family acted like they were in the right, and I had no say in it.  I grew up psychologically and emotionally abused and was use to not having a voice in my family about much of anything, so speaking up didn't seem like an option.  Not being able to speak about my feelings for my cousin with my family or anyone else though, was difficult, and finding this site in 2004 meant I could finally start speaking of my cousin-romance. 

Seven years after my Dad broke us up, and 3 months after my wedding, my cousin-love died of cancer.  I've lived 34 years now without him.  

It never occurred to me to blame my Dad or my family for splitting us up, because I know they were just doing what they thought was right.  I did not have the emotional/psychological strength to fight back anyways, and I never did.  My cousin-love never fought back either in the 7 years before he died.

But there is hope.  I hope to be with my cousin-love once I die, and I've had many supernatural experiences with him since he died 34 ago.

I've realized that whether you marry your cousin-love or not, you always have to deal with the fact that you are cousins, in a society that is against cousin-marriage.  It can make any cousin-marriage difficult.

Just a few thoughts on the matter ... sorry for your difficulties cadbury

Take Care

Ambra

 

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