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cadbury

What would you do if your cousin decides to marry his gf?

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Just wondering, how would you feel if your cousin marries someone else and you end up staying single? What would u really do? I feel like a failure or a loser already. It is a terrible feeling. I have to move away from everyone and adopt kids and live my life.

I am unable to forgive my family and parents for forcing me to stay out of cousin relationship and after that a bad relationship.

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Nevertheless, I do not feel guilty anymore. But, I have so much anger and frustration for the people I cared about the most. I don't like it when they act like they didn't do anything and everything is normal. I find it hard to fake around.

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1 hour ago, cadbury said:

Just wondering, how would you feel if your cousin marries someone else and you end up staying single? What would u really do? I feel like a failure or a loser already. It is a terrible feeling. I have to move away from everyone and adopt kids and live my life.

I am unable to forgive my family and parents for forcing me to stay out of cousin relationship and after that a bad relationship.

Yes you should... and that's what I will do if I were you. Otherwise, it will be difficult for my end to move on and have a fresh start. Reset button comes from the new environment around you. :)

 

Pooch

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10 hours ago, cadbury said:

... I don't like it when they act like they didn't do anything and everything is normal. I find it hard to fake around...

You just described almost all of the family I am around. It gets very frustrating.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope you find a fresh perspective, and a fresh start to happiness.

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39 minutes ago, Ken said:

You just described almost all of the family I am around. It gets very frustrating.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope you find a fresh perspective, and a fresh start to happiness.

Yep. 

But then what do you think they should do? Know what I mean? Act not normal? They have their own lives too and issues and stuff. Or do you want them to just shut up basically and just leave you alone? What would you rather have them do? It goes both ways.

The point is that either which, relationships are strained and it is difficult for huge lacerations to be cured by mere band-aids.  lol. I suggest to get outta a toxic environment and start fresh somewhere else. The world is small nowadays and it is not like the past wherein you are born, raised, live, retire and die on the same place. Of course it is not easy to move as there are lots of considerations. But you gotta do that as a goal that within 9-12 months, you are outta there. Know what I mean? :(

 

Pooch

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Whatever my family made me do was years ago, since I can't change my past but I have expectations from them. They know I will get hurt if them bring up anything about his gf and my expectation from them is to shut up when I am around. 

I don't have problem with his gf but you know it's that kind of feeling 'that which was mine can't be someone else's' lol. So yeah it kind of sucks!

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Cadbury.

Let me recommend that you read a book:  NASTY PEOPLE:  HOW TO STOP BEING HURT BY THEM WITHOUT STOOPING TO THEIR LEVEL by Dr. Jay Carter.  I found that book years ago and used it to change me into a happy, positive person.  In spite of the fact that my cousin is married to someone else.  When I found that book I kept reading it again and again.  It took some time but it worked,  

I have been telling people about that book - I'm trying to straighten the world out - one person at a time.  LOL

Good luck.

HUGS

Nat

 

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My cousin DID marry someone else. So did I. I went to his wedding (after my divorce) and tried to talk him out of it.  I bit my tongue, went on with my life and some years later when he had divorced, we got together.  Finally!

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On 7/12/2018 at 8:10 PM, Serendipity said:

My cousin DID marry someone else. So did I. I went to his wedding (after my divorce) and tried to talk him out of it.  I bit my tongue, went on with my life and some years later when he had divorced, we got together.  Finally!

That does give hope...

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Seriously I do not know what to say. We were too young when it all started, maybe if we met in mid twenties we would have been able to control ourselves and we were not going to cross the line. 

I feel like our life has been too hard on us compared to other family members :(, I do wonder why us in our family? It's not healthy for any of us including his gf. 

I understand that she really likes him and it's not her fault that we are attracted to each other. She shouldn't be the one suffering and I respect him for keeping his word. 

I have to let it go and never look back!

 

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