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Introduction and interests in second cousin

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Hello board members. I'm 20 years old and my second cousin is 25. Until about a couple weeks ago she's came back into my life after about a 10-11 year absense.  of running away, abusive relationships, dancing for money, and drug abuse, and recently got out of jail.  So where do I begin..

Growing up we called each other cousins. As most asian families would say, anyone close to your ages would be cousins and older would be aunt and uncle, so on and so fourth. My father and her mother are cousins, her father is white. Her dad left them and as well as the step father. I saw this growing up but was too young to realize what I wanted to do was just take care of her and watch out for her since things were turning for the worst with her fathers and her mother. My parents and her mother are Asian. I'm full and she's half/ half, and I love it.

I was always confused about our family relation, I've been told we were cousins, and then I was her uncle, and I got confirmation from her mother we are 2nd cousins. Which I haven't shared to her yet. Last we spoke about it was a few days ago I was her uncle haha.

I never thought much of the relationship when I was younger growing up, maybe because she escaped so early in my life development. But of all cousins from both sides, I always knew she was my favorite one of all. Always adventurous, thrill-seeking, rebelious and now I see myself taking after her with these characteristics which I charish deeply. And not until recently I never felt the ways I do towards her.

Me, I'm a driven 20 year old. My family stuck together through thick and thin. Teaching me the values of life that I wish to share with someone special someday.  And I'm still a virgin by choice, I've had my chances but knew they wouldnt be my first. I attended college at the local university and after a few years I lost interest to go becuase it just wasnt what I wanted, I wanted to be somewhere else for school. I found myself more involved with my first job that I always wanted during highschool that I finally got after highschool. I strive for knowledge and I've already worked in the 3 departments of a dealership and still working for them, enjoying my job more than ever. And owning a couple dream cars which I currently have.

Anyways a little bit about US.. She got out of jail and rehab last month. And since she's been out, we've spent a good amount of time with each other. Watching movies, to hanging out at her house, socializing with her friends, giving her rides etc. bonding and connecting like never before. She even has her own word for it which I love. She calls it 'Ty Time'.

Our most recent get together was on Halloween. We went to a haunted house. Of course we were both excited and scared to go in but dedicated! Standing in line, she ended up seeing a familiar face she works with at the job she just got! He could not believe we were cousins, as if we looked like a couple! Going in we locked arms and I couldn't let go for the most part haha. This was a big step for me. Thinking of the little things I would do to get closer to her when we made the plans to go. We locked arms and it was a tight connection like I wanted it to be.

Later that night as we hung out at her house, we bonded some more and shared the incidenses that changed our lives that would change and lead her down the path she had gone. As my emotions her ran I went in to give her a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Telling her now that she's back in my life, I'm here for her, for protection and support.

I get butterflies when I think about revealing my inner most secret to her and when I imagine being with her. I'm so comfortable when I'm around her, I can be myself. When I'm with her everything feels right. I don't have to try to make her smile, it just happens. When with her I flirt with her when I get the chance but when we text I try not to flirt obviously.

Of course she has guys messaging her and talking to her about dating and stuff. But she doesn't want a relationship at this time, she's told me. Although I do get jealous easily of the boys that talk to her because I'm afraid to lose her again.

And of course like anyone else who has feelings for their cousin I'm afraid of what she will think, when I do open up to her. I've been reading some advice threads lately and gotten a few good points down which I believe could help me and possibly her.

We both have similar plans to move out to Washington, which I'm very excited about. She wants to go to school there, and me I'll go to work for another dealership and give school another shot. We had these plans before sharing with eachother, which is like a dream come true..

I spoke with her mom at work the other day after Halloween. And she assured me that we were second cousins. And that my 2nd cousin thinks I'm very sweet. For now I'll continue to keep doing what I'm doing and spend quality time with her that I missed for way too long.

If anyone can post success stories that be a great boost for me. I'd appreciate any advice also.

Thanks for taking the time to read, I'm looking forward to connecting with you all:)

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