By A.R Wright
This is a continuation of an incredibly long story that I told back in 2017. I entitled it had to get it off my chest nowhere else to turn. From that point I got a lot of great advice but things have taken a bit of a strange turn. A brief background my cousin and I have known each other our entire lives. I've been in love with him since I was small and after being out of touch for quite some time we reconnected about 5 years ago at my great uncle's birthday. Things went okay from there we stayed in touch texted and I even went on a date of sorts with him. I went out to the suburbs where he lives and we shared a coffee. Without going off the rails and writing down my life story we are seeing each other again this Christmas. I haven't seen him for two years now. for the first year after I saw him at Christmas two years ago things were fairly normal in the sense that we would text back and forth and even though he was more stoic than he used to be he seems like he genuinely cared. At this point it has been 4 months since we have had any contact. I have no idea what's going on in his life anymore and I'm feeling a little sad that we have lost touch. Unfortunately I'm still deeply in love with him. Is there any purpose in telling him? Getting straight to the point how do I tell him or should I just keep it to myself now. When we saw each other two years ago he was very flirtatious and allowed me to touch him stroke his hair and when we went on our one and only date before he left he looked at me as if he was going to kiss me and left. Sometimes I tend to read into things but our history that we have together suggests otherwise. I don't really know what to do. Should I tell him? Or would this just make the shattered remains of our relationship even worse. I don't want to make things worse between him but I've been holding this weight on my chest for very very long time.
Thank you for all of your help.
I wanna at least try to start some kind of romantic relationship with my second cousin. I don't want to waste my life without ever actually trying at least once. I've known her since I was young and we've been attracted to each other since we first met. Something broke in me when I found out we were related. It lead me toward a long path of depression because I knew the chances of us being together were almost nonexistent, and it's only gotten worse with time. She feels the same or at least she's told me so numerous times. The problem is I think she's too scared to try. Maybe misinformed on the matter of cousin relationships and their genetic closeness as well. This is a delicate matter that could lead to either good things or horrible things. I'm having trouble figuring out how to talk to her and make her come around if she can. And if not, well at least I'll know for sure that I was doomed from the start. It will hurt like nothing else ever has but at least I tried.
Don't have the money or insurance for counseling. Like was the last suggestion in my other post. Wish I did though. I'm ready to complain to someone for a change.
Hello everyone. Where to begin? I've been falling hard for my 2nd cousin. I'm 25, she's 20. I knew her when I was little, about 7. (She was 2) we played a few times as kids. So the next time I saw her since we were babies she was 10, me 15. I got to know her well, and back then I obviously didn't feel like this yet. We got close enough so I could tell she is an amazing person. As we got older, we would party together often. (Often being 3-4 times a year) It wasn't until she was about 16, me 20, that I started to have a little cousin crush. I dismissed it as most would. She would somewhat flirt with me (partly her bubbly personality) Even times where she would casually sit on my lap or ask me to massage her feet. We've even taken a couple trips to California together recently. Just the two of us. However, I've heard her say something against incest before. She also currently has a boyfriend. I feel quite lost because I'm falling in Love with her so badly. It's not just a physical love because she's tremendously gorgeous, but also her mind is so charming. I would honestly die for her if it protected her. I seriously believe she is my soul mate, I would easily wait until my next lifetime for her.. but it eats at me so badd. ? I have no idea. Especially coming home from our trip last weekend, I just felt so depressed as our trip came to an end. Luckily we made plans to go canoeing in a few weeks so I can spend more time with her ?
I guess I'm posting here because I'm confused if she really could love me. If I did confess my heart, what's the best way?
Also, I would love to hear input from others who have stories about confessing their feelings to their cousin.
I'll keep the explanation brief but I'm an 18 year old girl who had a pretty traumatic past. My parents were both alcoholics, and my father, although he was present for my life, didn't really take up the whole "father" role, if that makes sense. This will become important later.
My cousin... He's a few years older than me and we've always had this sort of connection, of sorts. It was always PERFECTLY innocent, he and I were two of the most intelligent of the cousins, we both had the same sarcastic kind of humor... we just sorta "got" each other, all through our youth.
It sounds goofy, but he was our gardener. Let me explain. Our house had a crazy gopher infestation, and he, being 16 or 17 at the time, was eager to earn a few bucks, and had a knack for gardening. My mom would pay him to come over and help us. Remember how I said that my childhood trauma would become important? Well, my cousin was my stability through most of it. Where most if not all of my male representatives in my life had failed me, he was what "normal" was. Him being around the house so often made me feel safe, like I was protected. Kinda stupid in hindsight, considering we were both children, but hey. I think my crush started way back then.
Our family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc, do NOT gather all that often. But when we do, we are just so drawn to each other. Thanksgivings, while the rest of the family would be in the kitchen talking and drinking, you know, having general merriment... we'd be in the living room, talking, or sitting in silence. It was that kind of thing where even if we weren't talking, you could tell that we were comfortable enough just being around each other. Particularly last Thanksgiving, there was a point where I felt comfortable enough to finally talk to him about all the crazy crap that happened when I was young with my parents and the abuse. I felt safe. And he listened, told me how strong I was and how I hadn't deserved to go through all of it alone. I felt SO safe, and warm, like I was finally home. And that's something that's so hard for me to feel, it's impossible to ignore.
Now, here's the thing about my cousin. He's a man of very few emotions, or, at least, he doesn't show them very often. But even all the aunts, uncles, and grandparents know that he's always been very protective of me. We tend to read each other's emotions like a book. We were both raised in a pretty straight-laced, Christian environment and are both still of the faith, and because of this, cousin/cousin relationships are pretty taboo. I know chances are that he doesn't feel the same way about me. But I think that I DO harbor some pretty serious feelings for him.
These feelings became pretty evident, actually, when I met up with my mother a few weeks ago. We had gotten lunch, and I talked about my cousin and how I was so glad that he had been there for me through the hard times, something like that. My mom said, and I quote, "(Cousin's name) is a great man. Really. What a shame that he's your cousin." And my heart stopped. My first thought was "Sh*t! She found me out!" Then I started thinking, "Wait a minute, is that her way of giving support?" And that's really the incident that led me to questioning my feelings and finally ending up at this point, writing this post. Here I am. In love with my cousin. And I'm confused, alone, and scared.
I have a lot of questions that hopefully those in this community could help me answer. For the longest time I had tried to push down these feelings, so forgive me if my questions sound a bit obvious or whatever.
Is there any way to gauge whether the cousin in question returns these feelings?
Is this something that would be easier to ignore and forget about?
Are the whole "cousin couples are bad because genetic deformities happen in their children" thing really as severe as people say?
Is there something wrong with me?
Thank you guys in advance for your responses, I really hope to hear from some of you. Any advice is appreciated.