Ok so I'm new and I really need an advice because I'm so confused.
So my cousin lives in another country (where my parents are originally from) so we really didn't have that much of a contact besides summer, bc we go to visit our family.
I'm born and raised in an european country, where I currently live.
A few years ago, when we were preteens, it was the last time we met (before this year) and we didn't even talk, he now says it was because he was shy. Obviously we know each other since we were little kids and we would always play together and have fun, but as we grew up, we started falling apart and didn't talk at all when we visited them. I had this little feeling for him but I always wanted to hide it, because I grew up in Europe, where marriage or romantic relationships between cousins is seen as incest even though it's legal, but still, it's a huge social taboo.
So fast forward to this year. I'm 19 and he is two years older than me. We are young adults. Keep in mind that all this years I was trying to make my own life and we didn't have any contact at all.
So we go on vacation there and we meet. Throughout the whole journey we didn't talk that much. I was really nervous but I also didn't want to create any sort of relationship between us so I kept it polite but I still was kind of playful, if that makes sense. Oh let me tell you that in this country, marriage between cousins is very common, and normalized, so in that aspect we don't have any problem.
Ok, so the thing is, then he got my social media and when I went back to my country, we started talking. He wanted to know whether I was in a relationship or not and we started knowing each other really well for the first time. After a few weeks he asked me if I liked him or if I could like him one day, because I previously told him I didn't want any relationship with someone from the family. I told him yes and we continued to talk (everyday for HOURS till we go to sleep) and just know each other.
As a person I really really really like him. He is such a nice, sweet, funny and open-minded person. I was NOT expecting it. We talk every day and we talk about everything. Physically I am very attracted to him, since forever actually. And he also likes me. He even told me that he sees us together forever.
Now here's the problem. I'm so afraid about what people will say.
But when I start to analyze things, it's not even that deep. My family will probably 100% approve it, as I told you it's very normal for us in our culture. My friends, they were a little surprised at the beginning when I explained it to them, but quickly went to tell me that I should do what I felt and they are really supportive and encourage me. Legally, it's totally fine and legal in the country I live and basically throughout the whole continent. So the only problem I have is my fear and my thoughts about what others will say.
The thing is both of our fathers are brothers, so we have the same surname. In the country I am from, married women don't take their husband's last name, so if people see we have the same surname they will definitely notice we are related. Also, kids take both surnames, from the father and the mother, so technically they will have the same surname TWICE.
I mean, I know it's the most stupid reason I could come up with, but I really care about what other think about me or us in this case, and this is really destroying our, let's say, happiness, because I'm constantly thinking about this and can't seem to get over it.
I really like him, I actually think I feel way more for him than just like him and whenever he messages me I become the happiest person on Earth. But I'm constantly seeing comments of people saying it's incest, it's wrong, it's disgusting, bla bla bla and it makes me really confused and uncomfortable.
Once I arrived to the point of saying, you know what, I can't continue with this "relationship", I'll just block him everywhere but something kept me off from doing it.
I really thought of just hiding it and not tell anyone about it, I mean the fact that we are cousins, but they will eventually find out one way or another, and that terrifies me.
What should I do? He will get tired of this at the end, because he tells me repeatedly that we shouldn't care about what others think but it's not easy to do it when you live in a society where for loving someone you're considered weird and mentally ill.
If you arrived till here, thank you and I hope to hear from you. Kisses 😘
I am looking to get some feedback about a current situation I am in with a first cousin.
My cousin and I have been really close friends for the past couple years. We hang out a lot and always shared what I would describe as a platonic brother/sister bond (at least I thought). A few weeks ago my cousin came by to visit me and that's when he opened up about how he felt about me. I can't recall exactly what he said, but he said something along the lines of fantasizing about me, and that he wanted us to indulge. I was caught off guard because like I said, our relationship has always been platonic. I tried to shut down the conversation as nice as nicely as I could. I mean, I appreciate that he was brave enough to tell me this, but I also explained to him that he shouldn't be feeling this way. He tried to convince me but I still said no. We then decided to go out to grab some food and on the way back we stayed in car awhile talking about why this wouldn't work. Before left for home, he kissed me. I didn't stop him, I kissed back. In that moment all these feelings I didn't have for my cousin came rushing in. After a very long make out session he left. After he left, we spoke and I told him that I did 6th ink it was a good idea for us to hang out alone anymore so that things wouldn't become complicated.
A few days later he came by to see me again. This time felt different. It wasn't like our usually hang out sessions where we'd chill and talk, and at times even do our own thing. This time there was an energy, at least on my end. I don't know how to describe the feeling, but it was that of desire. A part of me wanted to indulge, while another was telling me not to. As we layed on my bed, as we normally do, I found myself cuddling with him, something that is outside of our norm. That then led to everything except homerun. Omg, I couldn't believe, that my cousin and I actually did that... My mind grew confused.
But it didn't stop there, a few days later, we were hanging out and this time we went by his place. Again we cuddled, and again that led to this time including homerun. By this time, I think the little hamster in my brain stopped spinning. I was numb...i couldn't believe that we actually did it. Right after he said that he didn't think it was a good idea for us to hang out alone anymore. I felt kind of hurt, because we already gone all the way, why are you saying this now. This was what I had said to him the first night, and had he listened we would have never ended up in this web.
About we week later we went on a trip together;one that we had planned for some while. The trip was just supposed to be him and I, but I invited a third person a few weeks prior as a way of trying to prevent something like this. Nevertheless, we found a line time on the trip and ended up having sex again.
I don't know what to make of all this. A part of me wants to indulge while another part tells me no. Its not that I think cousin-cousin relations are wrong, I just don't want to risk complicating things with someone I really care about (platonicly, if I can still say that).
My cousin isn't much expressive when it comes to his feelings. I can assume he likes me but not sure.
Talking about sex with him, it's very hot and passionate. We would always stare into each other's eyes the whole time we make love. He loves to pleasure me without asking for it in return and feels happy seeing me orgasm.
Even though I did an embarrassing thing while we were doing it, he still didn't find it bad. He just took me in his arms, kissed me and told me it's alright. One night when we were having sex he got on top of me holding me tightly in his arms and groaning sexily as I wrapped my arms and legs around him and pulled him close, there was an urgency in him where we were in that position. I once asked him why he wanted me that much that he couldn't think of any other girls. He replied "that's because it's you, silly".
The sex tells me his feelings for me runs deeper. What do you think?
Sorry for the long description but I need some advice.
My maternal first cousin recently had a bad separation. His ex cheated on him and broke his trust. Although he told me he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore I think he hasn't moved on completely yet. The reason I say this because I've accidentally found her picture in his wallet.
Anyway, so I met my cousin after 7 years. We had a thing 7 years back but that didn't last for some reason. Now, that I met him again the spark started to return. We both are deeply attracted to each other and sexual tension is massive. As we didn't want to be in a relationship for a reason we agreed to be fwb.
I lost my virginity to him and the sex was freaking awesome. He just LOVED sex with me. The sex had always been passionate and hot. He's obsessed with me. He had always wanted to make love to me. He even told me I turn him on like he never thought was possible and to him I was irresistible. He even said he never felt this chemistry with anyone else. I had given him massive turn offs at times yet it didn't stop him from wanting me. Not to mention he genuinely cared a lot about me. He loved taking me out and spending time with me. Used to get offended if I didn't join him while eating. And felt twinge of jealousy if I talked to other guys.
I ended the fwb relationship with him for a reason and told him. He was deeply hurt, I could see a certain pain in his eyes. He reluctantly agreed without wanting to know the reason. And from that day he has become aloof and distant. He still cares about me and talks to me but he's toned down.
Is it how fwb supposed to feel when the relationship is over? Why is my cousin behaving like this? He's a very experienced man and compared to him I am a novice who can't even give a proper bj, what's so sexy about me that used to turn him on like crazy?