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Bold

Confused, In Love & Need Help

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Ok so I’m in love with my cousin, let the story begin, I’m a 17yr old man and my cousin is also 17. Up until recently I hadn’t seen her for 10+ years due to family complications and distance. But recently we had a family reunion and we hit it off so well that I flew down to California with her for a week.

Over this week I started to see some signs that maybe she was starting to catch feelings. She hugs me a lot and at one point I was semi mad at her and she was basically non stop hugging me begging me not to be mad. Another sign I saw was during movies, when she was cold we snuggled and when we watched a scary movie we did the same. One night we were taking and she pointed out how my lips were shaped and I personally have never heard of someone just observing another lips unless they wanted something to happen.

Now that I’m back from the trip we were texting and I was sending some more flirtatious messages and all of a sudden she confronts me about the texts saying that she felt uncomfortable because we were family and so I told her I didn’t mean it like that to not seem “creepy” I guess. I don’t know if she changed her mind or just felt wrong about it so she backed off but I don’t know what it all means. It all seemed to line up in person but none of it does over text. So what should I do? I don’t want her to find someone else before I can speak my mind, but I also don’t want to ruin the relationship if she’s doesn’t feel the same. So how do I go about telling her?

Edited by Bold

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Hello bold, 

Quite the dilemma indeed! You're attraction to your cousin might be clouding your judgement to the point that you are misinterpreting her interaction with you. Unless she gives you CLEAR signals that she's interested in you, as more than cousin (ie, tells you, touching, etc) then it's probably best to not proceed. 

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10 minutes ago, Pickledpie said:

Hello bold, 

Quite the dilemma indeed! You're attraction to your cousin might be clouding your judgement to the point that you are misinterpreting her interaction with you. Unless she gives you CLEAR signals that she's interested in you, as more than cousin (ie, tells you, touching, etc) then it's probably best to not proceed. 

Thanks for the reply PickledPie, I don’t know because I’ve never have and never would snuggle with like my sister. I just presumed that it would be the same thought process for her if she didn’t think of me as anything more than just a cousin. 

Edited by Bold

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Hi Bold

It has been some weeks since the original post, do you still talk face to face or at least by messages?

If you still have feelings for her and want to act on it, you will need to get her into you... As you said she confronted you about your 'flirtatious' texts. This may be because she wants to find out your feelings, or it may be because she got that "ew factor" that cousins get sometimes, I cannot say for sure as I don't know the details.

I am sure some people here can help you a lot more than I can, they are really good at this. However we need to know your current situation. If you want to get a glimpse about how she feels about you go for the tried and true line 'you know, if we weren't cousins, [...]', it worked for me and many others when I was in a similar situation.

Hope you can understand your cousin, stay strong man.

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Thanks and hello AlmostaCouple, so she lives a thousand  miles away so no face to face, but we message each other literally everyday. And in terms of you needing more information what type of information are you looking for?

Edited by Bold

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