So my first cousin and I didn't grow up together but over the years we've built a relationship through letters he's in prison right now I've always felt like he started with me but I've never really been sure. He would ask me to send him pictures before he went to prison via cell phone, he was married then so I didn't think much of it I just figured because we hadn't seen each other in a while that he wanted to have a picture of me. I didn't feel the same way at first but I flirted with the idea because of the way that he made me feel I didn't feel like anything was wrong with it I honestly and I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of thinking of him sexually. I know for a fact that our family would not approve but lately he's been writing me letters and he always calls me gorgeous and he always tells me I'm beautiful and he wrote me in my last letter about the way my shirt showed my physique and that it was enticing. I don't want to confuse him being incarcerated with him having feeling because I know sometimes people say anything behind bars especially men who haven't seen women in a while but I can say that I felt him flirting with me before this the feelings have just seem to get deeper since we've been writing each other more. I want to express myself because it's killing me to know that someone that I have these feelings for I might not be able to be with but if I feel like he feels the same I wouldn't have a problem expressing myself I'm just not sure so I'm asking in regards to what I should do on my end with my feelings in the situation. I genuinely love him so even if he was repulsed with the idea I wouldn't just leave his side while he's going through this part of his life I genuinely was helping because I wanted to help a family member and I didn't expect to feel the way that I do. It feels impossible that I'm the only one that has these feelings and it's not perverted. I just understand him and I know he understands me please help me
Hi guys, I'm new to all this cousin stuff. Im from the UK so im well aware of the legal issues on cousins.
To cut a story short, ive always had a hunch that my cousin has liked me since we were young, but these past 4 years i think that shes been dropping hints that she likes me. Im 23 and shes 18, i know thats quite an age gap but the thing is, she is exactly like me when i was that age. We often acknowledge our similarities and we are both always a little shocked at how much we are the same. I should cringe at this but ive never really felt a real connection with anyone until recently. Ive had many girlfriends, but there was never a fulfilling feeling of being with them. but anyway ill cut to the story.
On odd occasions my cousin will ask me to go out and i will always say yes, but if i cant i will always rearrange to see her. When we first starting hanging out she would want me to tickle her arms, so basically she was very touchy feely with me. Then a year passed and she got a boyfriend which i was totally fine with but then they split up and we started hanging out abit more, she seemed more shy around me and was alot less touchy feely. Eventually she got another boyfriend and hes a really cool guy we get on, earlier this year she asked me to go round to her house for a massage and she asked to do a full body massage on me, i said no because i didnt want to feel awkward so i ended up just going with a back massage. she was wonderful at it she is amazing at massaging, but i couldnt help but feel a little aroused by it. so anyway i just put that to the back of my head and thought nothing of it because shes my cousin right? Anyway, when we go out as a family to a meal or something, i always catch her looking at me with such a beautiful grin after shes told a joke, even if im sat doing nothing while everyone is talking, i look over at her to catch her staring at me, we lock eyes and oh man does my heart race. It feels like we are the only people in the room. But this week we went to town and we got drunk, while we was out she was telling me that she gets more energy when there's more people and i understand that, so she invited one of her lad mates out. Before he arrived, baring in mind that she has a bf, she was telling me how nice and hot he was, which is what you do at 18 haha. I was looking forward to meeting him, we got on and he mentioned that he wanted a smoke. so i said we could go back to mine because my parents were on holiday and she was really up for that. so this lead me to think that she wanted to get with her friend.
When we arrived at mine we had a smoke, watched a few films and just generally had a good night then i said i was going to go to bed. as i was going up she asked me for a t-shirt to wear to bed, i was drunk and i took mine off and just chucked it at her as a joke. She laughed and said thanks, so she went off to get undressed and put my tshirt on. when i was in bed she messaged me and asked where i was sleeping, i said in my room and laughed. then we carried on talking but i cant remember what about, but i remember her saying "Let me have a nap first". at this point i was so tired i just fell asleep. eventually i woke up at 3 and could not get back to sleep, so i got up brushed my teeth and went to the living room. she came downstairs curiously in my tshirt so i presumed she slept in it and i asked her if she had done the deed with her friend. she laughed and said no as if it was gross. i was abit confused by this, but then it hit me. Was she downstairs with me at 3AM to finally admit to what she was feeling? I went so quiet i didnt know what to do and i felt a sense of tension between us, she said she was going upstairs to put her phone on charge and i told her to come back after. She did come back but she only sat with me for about 10 mins before going to wake her friend up so we could all sit downstairs together. anyway this is where it gets confusing, i try to message her and she will talk to me for a short while but its always a short while, i dont know if she feels awkward with me, honestly im so lost.
I have no idea what im feeling, what shes feeling i just need your guys opinions on the matter. are these obvious signs shes giving me or am i just getting the wrong end of the stick?
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What an incredibly supportive and amazing group!
Please forgive my intrusion. My name is Beth and I'm a features writer with That's Life - a national magazine that tells real-life stories in Australia and New Zealand.
We share unique love stories in the first person and in a completely non-judgemental way. All of our interviewees receive full copy approval.
I'm posting as I'd love to find an Aussie or Kiwi couple who'd be willing to speak to me. I think that it's really important that we tackle the stigma associated with dating/marrying your cousin. It is, after all, completely legal!
The only way we can do that, though, is by people coming forward to share their stories, openly and candidly.
If you are interested, please drop me an email at *************@***********.com.au.
Thanks very much,
To start off, we are half 2nd cousins. We did not grow up together. I knew of him through the family but only met him once that I can recall, I was very young i don't even remember him from the visit but do remember his sister. Let's call him Zach, he is in fact now my boyfriend of almost 3 years. I've lived with my dad my whole life but from many complications I then moved in with my mom whom Zach is related to on her side of the family. Zachs immediate family has a good amount of money and my mom wanted me to enjoy first week back home and figured it'd be nice to visit my cousin Zachs house and his family considering they have a very huge, nice house. I was very sick from traveling such a long way from my dad's to my mom's I just wanted to go home the whole time I was there. But yes, this was in fact the 1st time i met my boyfriend Zach. We didn't click at first sight, in fact I didn't really find him all that attractive, he was cute but I wasn't really worrying about that at all. A few more visits passed by and we began talking and texting then suddenly we became really close, we didn't miss a day without talking. He became my best friend and he's the bestest best friend I've ever had, he still is. I began to start feeling a bit of attraction coming on for Zach and I was so confused. I felt disgusting "you can't like your cousin that's so weird!!" I thought to myself. But the more I fought it the harder it was. I tried to block it out which was fine. Until he showed he had feelings for me as well... it was the night of my town fair and he came with me for my partner because like I said he was my best friend. We had a great time we then went to my great grandmas house to stay the night to play guitar, talk and just hang out with my best friend that's all. It turned to be much more than that. The next morning I didn't know what to think I was debating on acting like I didn't remember any of what happened. Until he got done showering and jumped on the bed where I was laying and kissed my forehead. I knew he was the one. 2.5 years later we're madly in love and I couldn't imagine my life without him. We are one of the best couples I know being honest. He's my favorite person and he brings out the best in me. Most of all we help each other through everything from battling depression to deciding what song he should record in his music studio. Though, through all of these nice magical times it's still such a rough path. My mother and brother are so judgemental one of the worst judgemental people I've ever met. They hardly support me, they don't understand I'm doing what makes me happy. They don't know I'm with Zach but they are suspicious. It's pretty obvious. We're inseperable and my mother often questions why I haven't had a boyfriend. It's so hard because on top of all of this I'm still a minor so I have no say so in what I am or am not allowed to do. I will be 18 in 5 months so I think I can live with our situation until then. I was 14 when we started dating and our love grows stronger and stronger each day. I know it may seem I'm a little young but for him I will wait until I'm 64 if I have to. He's worth it.