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Confus

Need advice..I know yall get this alot.

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So. I came here with hopes of sorting my confused dealings and mind out. I know not all answered can be found here. I didn't even know I'd ever be here asking advice on this subject. I'm 43.. And at a mutual uncles funeral, I met him for the first time.  I didn't meet my father untill I was 20. So I'm not close with, nor did I grow up with knowing even my grandmother..let alone cousins. When I saw him, I was immediately attracted to him.. And asked our mutual cousin,who he was. Wouldn't you know it..a cousin i was disappointed. Shortly there after he follows all of us outside..he tells me later, it was because of me. We have talked ...and having only met once...there is this confusing and exhilarating connection. He calls me trouble... And I call him brat. Lol we know how the family would take it.and we try to "be good"...  But damn if it ain't the exact feelings I've craved... He is married...they have been having problems since before we me...which we met a couple months ago.  We bs..joke..and try not to acknowledge our attraction..and go days without talking.  But we can't help but touch base. I can't explain it. I'm so torn.. 

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Yeah, I can understand those confusing feelings. Often cousins have everthing you are looking for in a mate. Although you didn't meet up until your 40's, you two probably share the same values etc. etc. Some think the genetic similarity of cousins is just right to create the kind of chemistry that you describe.

As Ambra pointed out, it is difficult for us to give approval when a could-be relationship will hurt other people and families. I would keep my eye on this one. Maybe his marriage will desinigrate, and soon. But don't let it be you that caused the heartache that will ensue.

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Thank you both! And I agree on all levels...and have since ended communication with him. I stated that its obvious we can't just be friends,and even if we tried....this attraction will still be hanging over our heads. So I told him I thought it best to take myself out of the equation, as I didn't not want to be an issue. So I haven't spoke to him in a couple days..and am trying to just leave it be..maybe later we can try to reexamine..but right now..the attraction that can't actually be examined, hangs over our heads causing awkwardness...and tension..and we don't actually communicate like we use to. Its different now. So.. I'm walking away.. 

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On ‎9‎/‎16‎/‎2018 at 4:04 PM, Confus said:

Thank you both! And I agree on all levels...and have since ended communication with him. I stated that its obvious we can't just be friends,and even if we tried....this attraction will still be hanging over our heads. So I told him I thought it best to take myself out of the equation, as I didn't not want to be an issue. So I haven't spoke to him in a couple days..and am trying to just leave it be..maybe later we can try to reexamine..but right now..the attraction that can't actually be examined, hangs over our heads causing awkwardness...and tension..and we don't actually communicate like we use to. Its different now. So.. I'm walking away.. 

Well if he ends up divorcing then I don't see why you can't reconnect

 

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