So my 2nd cousin is coming out for vacation and we’ve been talking over the phone for the last several months before she gets here to New York. I have a crush on her, but not sure she is interested in me. During our talks she has said she wants to do molly with me and get super drunk. She said that she is down for anything, knows we are going to be sleeping in the same bed when she comes out. We’re both in our late 30’s, and the family is not really a factor. We’ve seen each other maybe a total of four times our whole lives but have always kept in touch
She’s been sending me pics of what she’s going to wear when she’s out here, telling me things like her butt is hanging out of her romper and that she needs help from me zipping her dresses up.
Then there are moments when she completely shuts down and I don’t hear from her for a couple of days. Then she will hit me back up like nothing happened... however yesterday she was extremely short with me, and I didn’t hear from her today. I’m giving her whatever space she needs.
We have already planned a trip for Australia together in the winter and again she knows we’re sharing a bed, and it’s just going to be us and another trip to France in the summer. She says things like “What if you find someone, you won’t want to go with me” and I’ll reply with the same question and she’ll say she never wants to date again
She’s single and I’m single... no kids.
So I guess my question is, does it sound like she’s open to whatever happens when she comes out here? Knowing she is down to drink and do molly with me, staying in the same bed, chatting back and forth etc, or is she just coming out to have a good time? Am I reading too much into the partying aspect of the trip?
She has never alluded to wanting to hook up, but would she? I’ve never alluded either.
Hi. So, I’m currently 14, and so is my second cousin. (who I’ve known only less than a year now) Now, I know I seem somewhat juvenile for this type of this discussion, but I’m in dire need of help. See, the thing is, nowadays, it’s pretty clear that kids as young as 12 have relationships. Most of the time, they don’t last, it’s obvious, but I have feelings for my second cousin that I’m certain I’ve had for nobody before, nor do I think I can have them for anyone else. She’s beautiful. But that wasn’t the first thing I noticed. We met at an amusement park, when our parents introduced us to each other no less than a year ago. What I noticed first about her was that she seemed bothered. Worried, distressed, and I immediately felt the same way—at least the way that she looked. Now, she lives in the US. I’m US born, but I temporarily live in another country until about 11th grade.
Consider it what you may, a “long distance relationship” or whatever, but this makes me even more distressed. See, this was the day after they’d come from America. They did a lot that day, and maybe, just maybe she was simply exhausted from all the activities they did.
A few days after, they were still here, we met again. She looked the same way through their stay here. She constantly has this look of ponder. This daydreaming sort of physical characteristic. But it doesn’t bother me at all. For all I’m concerned, if something is going with her, I’d stand up for her and protect her from whatever is to happen.
So, as I said it’s only a little less than a year we know each other now. We went to their house in Fl for a few days in December though, I learnt that we’re actually pretty close. Yet, I fear it could be that she only treats me this way because she thinks of me as simply her “cousin” don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about that, it’s just that she might not really feel as a feel for her because of this. I see her as a stranger. A stranger who’s simply disguised as a “second cousin”. This seems to me to be a challenge put in place by fate to exercise my heart in hopes of seeing how strong - willed I really am. Know you must, she’s my only second cousin, who’s my age. Well, frankly she’s my only cousin in general, who is my age. First and second cousins alike.
Cousins are supposed to feel like a distant sibling, there to give advice, moral support, empathy, but she doesn’t only do that. We’ve known each other for a measly 9 months yet, I feel like I can tell her anything. Well, at least almost, everything. I feel as though, if I were to say anything to her about how I feel, our extremely short-lived relationship would come crashing down. Like an ancient stone abode built by hand, but after centuries of love, war, death and well, age. That’s right, I’m comparing a 9-month old relationship with my second cousin to basically any structure in what was the magnificent Pompeii. I’m 14. That’s what I do. Dramatize holy crapoly!.
To extend on that point I made, about her looking somewhat, distraught or maybe distracted by something, god forbid someone, well, my first instinct was to help. I wanted to help her. Hold her. Console her. She always has this look, and I love it. I think I understand now, that it’s most likely the way she acts. It’s an unconscious habit for her. It doesn’t turn me off in the least.
Her entire persona, by the way, hand in hand blends with mine. We’ve texted nearly every second of every day since that last time we met, when I was on Christmas break, at their house in Fl. I didn’t get to hold her, yet every time we say goodbye to each other, she hugs me. SHE hugs ME. I don’t even offer a hug, reason being, if I do, chances are, I’m gonna ask her to marry me. Her hugs feel amazing, yet, totally off-putting. What if it’s because she likes me too? Yay...? Then again, we live like 8,000 miles apart, and when either of us goes away, we go away. For like a couple months. So it’s likely, the hugging could be just a friendly gesture of saying goodbye. Which, without a doubt, sucks.
So we text a lot. We hang out a lot. How do I approach her? ( if I should) See, I’m a afraid she could find a relationship with someone else soon, if I don’t act fast. While she’s single, while she’s young, I want to tell her how I feel. I wish to have my first kiss with her. On sexual terms, maybe even lose our virginities to one another. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Please, help. I need someone to talk to about this.