This won’t have much substance other than to thank the regular posters and mods for making me feel at home with your intelligence, ultra grammerz, and thoughtfulness that I see throughout each post I have read.
Im a girl with a lifelong puppy crush on a 2y younger male cousin. It has recently turned into something that occupies my mind more frequently, as we have increased personal contact over the summer due to a few family nights out.
(500 mile geographical issue in the USA, been home frequently for my mother’s recent health probs )
We are both in our 30s and I am engaged to someone else. I am not looking to pursue anything romantic, have no idea if it’s even reciprocated.
I am facing family pressure in the sense that his mother encourages time spent together.
I worry that she misunderstands the intention(s) behind the positive effect we have on one another, simply because her culture is 🇵🇭 and I don’t want to let her down if she is caught off guard that this might have developed.
My cousin and I were both raised on the east coast. He’s my only first male cousin and I went to all girls school which might have fueled the crush long ago.
I don’t necessarily feel weird that I think of him in this way. I can be prone to girlish crushes but never act on them.
However! Since our family likes the results of spending time together, I am nervous. I have full self discipline but feel deeply protective of my crush cousin,
and have admitted to myself reading this forum that I would welcome his <hypothetically> less than cousinly advances should I have been single upon this more adult view of our dynamic.
How can I be the best role model type cousin without hurting him or sending creepy (maybe to him?) signals?
I have a very boyish career trajectory and we both have checkered personal pasts (addictions, anorexia, etc) and I have been surprised to feel like I may be more centered and able to be some sort of role model for once in my life, even though he’s doing well enough for himself rn.
I don’t want to let down my aunt who is catholic and Philippine
(dad’s are brothers, that’s the extent of my immediate family)
I don’t want to let him down as a cousin because I want him to feel valued for more than a love interest. ***however***
i spent a lot of time as a stripper in my early twenties so I feel I can sometimes inject too much of my own sexuality with males I care enough about to encourage. In my own mind or in dark humor moments. While this has never failed me I want to protect my cousin from any of that kind of exposure because I’d like him to pursue a woman more wholesome than I am (he has never brought a woman around the family for holidays which is customary with our little clan, he’s the only boy tho)
You guys are all awesome, even the weirdos among us who make weird OP’s 😂. I wanted to say that first and foremost. I’ve never seen a message board with more depth of thought per paragraph than here.
Cheers and love to you all 💕 and I shall resume lurking in ~2018 threads, as admitting this whole subject is new and interesting to me.
This is my first post, sorry if I leave stuff out. I have liked my cousin for a few years now, I have no clue how she feels about me and I have no clue how to tell her I like her. We live in the same state, the state we live in, 1st cousin marriage is legal. I am about 3 years older than her. and we live about half an hour away and see each other about every other month.
By The Riddler
Apologies if I make mistakes, very new here. I’m extremely happy that there is a community like this, in the world we live in.
I need your opinion on my situation.
Off the bat, I’m in love with my first cousin and I’m sure she feels like same but I need to be 100% sure so that I can make a move becoz I intend to.
We are an affectionate family, we all hug and kiss.
I’m 24 (m) and she’s 32(f) married with 2 children who I get along with well. She’s in a toxic marriage that won’t last much longer.
This sexual tension between us has been building over the last 2 years.
Whenever we see each other, we always sit next to each other and our legs touch etc for example she’ll always use my knee as support when she gets up IMO just to touch my leg.
We were recently under a blanket and I made a move to hold her hand but interlocked hand holding which she was okay with. I have hugged her from behind and she likes it.
When I hug her it’s always a bit longer plus my hands are around her waist and our legs always touch, we always give a bit more of a kiss than a usual peck. Not sure if I’m reading too much into it.
When she fixes my pants becoz they falling down she will let her hand run across my bum.
I often pass each other by and give a little shoulder rub or a hand glide on the back.
Im definitely more forward than she is but she has never seemed uncomfortable with the interactions and has initiated some herself. She regularly puts her feet under my legs.
I think she might be holding back for the same reason i am.
What do you guys think and how should I make a move? I’ve already held her hand and now I’d like to French kiss her and cuddling.
Possibly make love if it can get to that. I love her a lot.
By Iron man
Plz answer me.....only INDIANS WILL UNDERSTAND AS MY ENGLISH IS NOT SO GOOD
I am a 23 year old hindu boy , from northern part of india... and I like my cousin sister (23 year)... I am writing "like" becoz i am confused whether I love her or not.
But she love me a lot... Deeply..... Since childhood...And wanted to marry me.
These things I came to knew from her elder sister.....Then her sister asked me that what is all this??
We used to talk on phone on weekly basis from 4 or 5 year only AND we never make any physical relationship
She is living in village and always busy with her household work....I want her to move from that place.... Join some classes.... Explore other things..... And may be she find someone better than me
But I don't know how to tell these things to her.
Sometimes I felt guilty also......that....why I not cleared the things before.........we never propose to each other... But from past 1 year I started doubting that something is going out of the way
Also she has no idea that how much it's danger for the offspring as well as it's illegal
Now what I do... Because I want her happiness only....
she is very nice girl as she used to support me in all my decision... That's why I didn't wanted to broke her heart.... I only want that she love someone else....
If she wouldn't be my first cousin then surely I will marrey her
Now u guys tell what I do.... Should I have to marry her?? Or maybe she will understand with time
Truthfully I can’t believe I have made an account...or am even making a post. Maybe cause it’s almost 4 am? Or maybe cause I’m finally tired of bottling it up. This may be long, just a warning.
I’ve had a crush on my cousin since the day I came into this world, believe it or not. The majority of pictures from my childhood are by his side. It actually became a joke between the adults in the family that the two of us were “in love”. And a part of me believes that’s true. But maybe I’m crazy.
The problem was that we live in different countries and although I used to visit every summer, the older I got, the less my parents took me to visit. Granted, that’s only due to the increase of risk in traveling to that country. The less frequently I visited, the harder it was for him and I to pick up where we left off on our friendship.
Currently he’s 23 and I recently turned 18. I know I’m young, so people automatically take what I say as a joke. But every time we wind up in each others presences, theres some sort of tension- like when in movies there’s a separated couple that still have feelings for each-other. As strange as it may seem, my grandmother supports this and wants my cousin and I to be together, as she tells my mother. My parents, however, either get very angry or exaggeratedly laugh at the sound of it.
Him and I remain social media friends, and I don’t want to ruin anything in the family- but I can’t help but feel like a part of me will always be wanting to know if he really did and still does feel the same. Or if there’s a chance we could be together. I constantly find myself unconsciously comparing all my “boyfriends” and flings to him, as if I know no one will ever be enough. I just can’t imagine how I would tell him.
if you actually took the time to read this- thank you. If you have any advice- thanks in advance.