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Mari

In love with my cousin

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I didn't have any feelings for her until we were young adults. It was at this stage in life were we started having conversations,  hanging out and enjoying her company.  I realized I loved her when it started to physically hurt to be away from her. We were coming home from a trip and fell asleep in my arms. She squeezed me so tight I could hear her heartbeat. I wished the car ride would never end but after 3 hours it did. I finally told her how I felt and she said she felt the same. We made plans and goals. The future seemed bright but that all ended the following weekend at my uncle's house. I was invited as part of a family gathering but I soon found out I was the only guest. Her father and my other uncle were there. We drank all night and discussed various topics but eventually my cousins name came up.  Her dad told me he had hidden cameras in his house and my other uncle spied on the house from the outside.  They knew I was visiting her when he wasn't home and they warned me to stop seeing her. They sort of threatened me but not in a violent way. They told me I was going to ruin her life and destroy her future.  They said society would never accept us and that I hurting her.  Her father even said he would trick her into visiting Ecuador (where we were born) and leave her there.

I was shaken after this encounter . I really loved her but I wanted to protect her from any potential family backlash. I made the toughest decision of my life and stopped talking to her. I cried and wanted to kill myself. My world was crashing all around me. 

Soon after this she ran away and left her father. I saw her sporadically over the years but nothing like before. We are now in our 40s and chat once in a while on Facebook. We are both single and I never stopped loving her but don't know if she has any feelings for me. Should I even try? Is it too late? Only time will tell I guess 

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