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Chocmolly

Crush on Cousin

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Hey yall, I have a  first cousin who lives in same state for last few years but we hadn't seen each other in 3 years and even didnt meet till we were already grown I was 20 he was 22. Now I'm 28 he 31. But anyways fast forward I reach out to him on facebook to hang, originally supposed to had hung with him and his family but plans came up with his wife so he invited me out by myself to go with him and his friends bowling. I go and enjoy myself and drink alot , one of his friends tries to talk to me and offers me a ride home, I decline it and ask my cousin to take me home instead. I invite him inside , at first he declines because he says it's late but than after I beg he comes in. I'm drunk as hell tryna fix a movie but see him with this mean look on his face so ask what's wrong. He talks about going back home to his wife and family  and his curfew. I grab  and touch his buff arm and flirt  telling him to repeat certain words because of his accent(that I love) he walks out my apartment and tells me to close my door. I yell no twice and take my shirt off, he tells "we're family "as he stomps off mad. The next day I text him apologizing in which he says it's ok I was drunk. Two days later we get into heated argument over the phone because I realize he told me I was driving him away, and said we are not friends just family, he declines saying both but during convo mentions how we are first cousins alot .Althiugh angry he speaks with passion, I can tell he was somewhere a restroom or something hiding. He never mentions me flirting with him though . The next day I text him asking when we gonna hang again he says he will see about the next week. He is so fine and perfect and looks like a celebrity rapper I am crushing on. I am scared to tell him how I feel because I dont wanna lose the friendship I am trying to develop. I always get so shy around him, idk what to do .I'm not tryna be with him, just been having sexual thoughts and wishing I could have him in that way. I know it's wrong though. 

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On ‎10‎/‎11‎/‎2018 at 2:23 AM, Chocmolly said:

I know it's wrong though. 

You have answered you own question.  I think he is trying to tell you something and you are refusing to hear. He is MARRIED and has a family..

You are doing the wrong thing by asking him to hang with you, knowing how he feels about his family.

The best  thing you can do is cut all communication with him and move on. He is not available to you.

 

Best wishes on your journey.

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Wow thank you for your honest response yea once I asked Jim to hang and he said maybe next week I figured I need to let it go.Trying to get over the crush thing though mentally. 

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I did not intend my response to sound as though I was attacking you.

I did mean to be honest.

I think the best way for you to get over the crush thing is to cut all contact with him. 

No facebook, text, calling or any other social media you might be connected on.

I do wish you well.

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Wow I cant do that I wanna build a friendship, I just wont get drunk around him ever. That's the only thing that made me bold enough  to try him anyways.I will look for someone else to like besides him. I did ask him though about hanging next week to see a movie or watch a movie at my place and he said he will see , so I should just say never mind to that too?

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Invite his wife to join you.  She should be included to help you avoid any uncomfortable and/or dangerous situations.

I would not appreciate someone (female, cousin or not) inviting my husband to hang out,

go to or watch a movie without inviting me also.

Put yourself in her place.....

 

,

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On 10/13/2018 at 12:27 PM, Romalee said:

Invite his wife to join you.  She should be included to help you avoid any uncomfortable and/or dangerous situations.

I would not appreciate someone (female, cousin or not) inviting my husband to hang out,

go to or watch a movie without inviting me also.

Put yourself in her place.....

 

,

Dangerous how?

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Dangerous in that you say you already have a crush on him, got drunk and tried to put the moves on him.

You don't need to be alone with him!

 

However I feel you are going to do what you want and have no respect for him, his wife or children. 

We don't give pats on the back and say go for it, just because this is a cousin couples site.

Sometimes our advice or comments sound harsh and are not what one wants to hear, but you asked.

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I decided not to hang with him anymore? I'm pursuing someone else who looks and reminds me of him who lives outta state? You were tight ny intentions were not good and I was gonna try to get him alone again but decided against it

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