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Parallel cousin marriage in India

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I am from India and here parallel cousin marriages are seen as taboo, but here cross cousin marriages are common.I seriously love my mother's sister's daughter too much, I feel guilty and embraced about it ,I have no sisterly feeling about her unlike other cousins, It felt weird.

I decided to propose her but was very afraid that she will feel bad but one day proposed her but alas she said "No I never expected this from u, u have done so wrong thing, u should have shame to think about ur sister this way  "  she is of traditional thoughts , she complained myself  to her mother . Now she is gonna marry , after 4 months from now, she is gonna marry to her cross cousin (her father's sister's daughter) . I tried to convince her but all in vein 

I can't live without her, I want to do suicide

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Oh wow, that is so amazing from a Western perspective! You are equally related, genetically,  to both of your cousins (cross and parallel cousins). There is no difference. The problem is a bass-backwards worldview. Sometimes traditional thought was just wrongheaded and short-sighted. I'm sorry for your trouble buts there is nothing you can do but pick of the pieces and move on.

It's embarrassing, isn't it? Look at it this way, if you had never asked your cousin, then you would be second-guessing yourself the rest of your life. Rejection is the response that we always face when we put our feelings out there. You did well my friend. Good for you and good luck next time.

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